Are you thinking about studying a PhD, but wondering how you will juggle it with your already busy life? Ruth Awara, a current PhD researcher in the Built Environment, shares her experience of balancing a postgraduate research degree with home and family life.
“I’m a final year PhD student. While studying for my PhD, I work and I’m also a full-time mother to three beautiful and very active kids. Balancing work, academic research and motherhood has undeniably been incredibly demanding, but also deeply fulfilling. Each role brings its own challenges, but together, they have taught me the true meaning of resilience, time management and personal growth. It’s not always easy, but it’s shaped me into someone who can juggle multiple worlds with purpose and passion at the same time.
There were challenges I had to overcome before pursuing a research degree. The toughest time of my life was when I lost my mother during my PhD. For a while, I lost my strength, sense of direction, and even my identity. Everything in my life was put on hold. Grief is not something you can map out on your timeline and affects every part of your life. It took time and reflection to build myself back up and find my way back to my research. I kept reminding myself of the reason I started my PhD, and who I am doing it for - myself and my family.
This sense of “why” became my compass when everything else felt uncertain. If you are thinking about doing a PhD, be ready for a new life to unfold. There will be moments of doubt but hang in there. Ask yourself why you started in the first place. Allow yourself to be human, to rest, to fumble and then to rise again. A PhD is about more than research, it’s about resilience. Go at your own pace and ask for help when you need it. Remember that strength is not about never failing but finding your way back when you do.
Some days, balancing a PhD with motherhood looks easy to achieve, and other days not so much. For me, the quietness of the night has become my sacred writing time. When the kids are asleep and the home is quiet, I dive into my research. I have a weekly planner that highlights my tasks, sets mini-deadlines, and allows for any curveballs.
Parenting and research are not always on the same page – sometimes, progress slows down, and that’s perfectly ok. Having a great support network helps me a lot, my partner and my family, my friends, as well as my brilliant supervisors and BCU. When I feel overwhelmed, I have learned to allow myself to rest, reset and return with revitalised enthusiasm.
My supervisors have been incredibly supportive at BCU. They have been flexible and patient, and thanks to their understanding, I have continued even through the toughest of times. Having this level of support from them and from the university makes all the difference.
It’s more than just a degree; my PhD has become a part of me. My family is growing alongside me. My kids have seen the late nights, the silent persistence, the little wins and the setbacks. In many ways, we have walked this path together and what I have learned has shaped me as not only as a researcher but as a mother and a role model."
