Neologisms in Journalistic Text

We are providing a series of lists of neologisms in context for the benefit of teachers of English language, many of whom have asked us for lexical information that can form the basis of vocabulary teaching. Of course, new lexical information is available every day, in journalistic and other ephemeral text, but teachers do not necessarily have the time to search for it. 

Each list contains 'new' words from the Independent (pre-2000) or Guardian (2000-) newspaper. The words have been identified as being new by software developed by the Unit during the APRIL project.

According to our system, new words are those which have not occurred in previously processed newspaper text of the same type. They are therefore not all new coinages. The lists are the result of matching monthly chunks of newspaper text against each other chronologically since 1989.

The new words offered to you have been selected randomly from our database. They have not been rigorously analysed, and so do not represent the original list in terms of proportion or lexical range.

Neologism listings

Neologisms: January-March 1994
ALAN CLARK, the former defence and trade minister, yesterday said that the pounds 234m development money paid in the Malaysian aid-for-arms row was used as a 'soft loan' to win the contract for the Pergau dam. Mr Clark's remarks will open Douglas Hurd, the Foreign Secretary, to further

date, followed by a replay of their individual confessions to the cameraman -a part known to the production team by the cutesy (and apparently meaningless) name 'bish-bash'. Then comes Cilla's inevitable question: 'Well, are you going to see each other again?' And what's the answer? Nearly always 'No'. One of Blind Date's hallmarks is...

Asked to define 'bobbitt', Anne Seaton, of Chambers Dictionary, says: 'It's a woman's violent and vengeful removal of her partner's penis. Perhaps one might call it 'depenistration'.'

Last month in the city of Taichung, a Taiwanese wife bobbitted her husband with a pair of scissors after learning of his affairs with other women. Chien Liu-liang, 51, was sentenced to two years' imprisonment

ways but I'm very childish, 'said one 'only'. 'I'm a sort of retard.' Yeah, yeah, you with siblings may be saying. This is mere palmists' patter, stuff which applies to everyone. True, but I would argue that 'onlies' experience this feeling in spades. Apparently, most only children find it difficult to rebel as adolescents. Since they are often one against two,

the distribution power of a banking network has been much copied, most recently by Halifax Building Society. It has become commonplace to assume that 'bancassurers' will have half the life insurance market by the end of the decade.

J SAINSBURY is planning to launch a new branded cola to challenge Coca-Cola and Pepsi. It may also repackage its ragbag of own-label petfoods under a strong single sub-brand in a threat to Mars-owned Pedigree Petfoods and Dalgety.

In north America a whole anti-consumerism movement is gathering strength to combat the toothbrush explosion and other excesses. But in Britain product proliferation continues apace. Philips alone produces 13 different kettles

Angela Eagle, the Labour MP for Wallasey, had been planning to ask about the Pergau dam in Malaysia, the subject of a so-called arms-for-aid controversy. When she was called by the Speaker, she quickly changed her mind, asking the Prime Minister how he could say that British industry was not a matter for

The Ottawa Citizen urges students to learn how to cope with 'bobbitting'. The Washington Times praises former US president George Bush for 'the bobbitting of both Saddam Hussein and Manuel Noriega'.

Alcohol appears to trigger bobbitting. The Taiwanese couple had been drinking on the day of detachment, as had a Turkish victim whose case was reported last month in the newspaper Hurriyet. Abdullah Kemal Konak.

Thomas Joshua Cooper, head of fine art photography at Glasgow School of Art, is one of the few people to have seen her firestacks in situ. Built of rounded stones fitted together, Brook makes the firestacks on the beach at low tide. She piles driftwood on top, and sets it alight as the tidewater floods back.

The new goutists: Unfashionable? Definitely. Painful? Highly. Funny? Hilarious . . . unless you happen to be the one who has the gout, says our Political Correspondent Paul Routledge.

But my right ankle was swollen and extremely painful. I could walk only with the greatest difficulty. Never fear, help was at hand. We goutists never go anywhere without an emergency supply of Naproxen, the vivid yellow bombers guaranteed to get rid of an attack within a day - or two, at most.

What is missing in the saga, it seems to me, is the comradely spirit. There is no hi-falutin' sufferers' club where us goutists can get together and yarn about ankles and big toes. Even sufferers of 'yuppie flu', which has not yet been satisfactorily proven to exist, have a mutual help group.

Sir: Melissa Rapp characterises British tourists in America as 'whiny and complainy'. She must understand that perhaps they are feeling a bit stressy about being robbed and shot by the happy, smiling Americans. Yours faithfully,

The industry is concerned that it is legal for people to change the electronic serial number of mobile telephones - a process known as 'de-chipping' - making easier to sell stolen telephones.

BT confirmed it was having talks with Pearson, LWT and Kingfisher to develop and provide a dial-a-video service that can be delivered down telephone lines. Analysts believe VoD could generate annual sales of pounds 1bn by the year 2000.

quite feckless.
Yes we are.
What is feck?
You agreed just now that we are feckless. You made it sound as if you knew what 'feckless' meant. So I asked you, what is 'feck'?
I don't think I've ever thought . . .
I believe you. You will go through the rest of your life never wondering what 'feck' is.
That's because I have more important things to do.
No it isn't. It's because you're a blithering idiot.

community was 'the right answer. Nobody wants to go back to the old mental health institutions with locked wards and impersonal care and treatment'. But there was a need for long or short-stay 'haven-type' or 'asylum-type' accommodation, for those mentally ill people who could not cope in the community.

they assemble in Basle for one of their regular meetings. Central banks come at the problem from differing perspectives. The Continental supervisors tend to see hedge-fund players as wicked destabilising speculators, wreckers of fixed exchange rate mechanisms and destroyers of bond markets. The Bank of England and the Federal Reserve Board on the other hand are much

Reports sent by the council to the Department of the Environment show that residents were neither means tested nor properly interviewed before being given the cash. Yet in its alleged 'homes-for-votes' policy the flagship London council spent millions of pounds of public money clearing out council properties. Some of this money was used to send a number of families

In his efforts to smother UN peace-keeping operations by withdrawing congressional support, Mr Dole yesterday introduced the draft of a 'peace-powers act' that would severely restrict US military involvement in UN operations.

Specifically, Mr Dole's 'peace-powers act' seeks a prohibition on US troops serving under foreign command in UN operations not directly in Washington's interests.

Plane-spotters are almost exclusively white, male and British. There is no such thing as a black female plane-spotter from Uganda. They have better things to do. I did once meet a spotter at Seattle airport, but he turned out to be a British Airways steward on his day off.

Sir: David McKeown says in his article on obsessions (24 March) that plane-spotters are 'almost exclusively white, male and British. There is no such thing as a black female plane-spotter from Uganda.' Not so. Some of us know our 200 series from our 400, our Big Tops from our Megatops, from years of walking over the many models in a son's bedroom.

No single company has control of the Independent or the Independent on Sunday and our three partners are all proprietor-free newspaper groups. The commitment to complete editorial independence is total - that is what the Independent is about, that is why we exist.

gee-whiz Governor of Arkansas. As to whether he and Mrs Clinton did anything seriously dubious, even illegal, all those years ago, nothing convincing has yet emerged. A spot of small-state you-scratch-my-back politics, for sure; maybe a tardy tax payment or two.

Beware the third up-tick By JIM SLATER in the so-called golden scenario of strong economic growth coupled with low inflation. Many professional investors believe that the first up-tick in interest rates is not too worrying. They expect the market to have a correction and then recover.

There is no need to panic out of the market -it is quite possible that in a week or so the Fed's first move will soon be seen as prudent and good for the long term. However, a second up-tick would be a cause for worry, especially as so many people interpret three up-ticks as a strong bearish signal.

Naples has produced sickening evidence of decades of complicity between the Camorra and politicians - led by 'Don' Antonio Gava, the former interior minister - of the southern votes-for-favours system. The city also produced possibly the vilest corruption cases of all - the multi-million pound deals between top Health Ministry figures and the

US economists say that Mr Greenspan is aiming to shift monetary policy from an 'accommodative' stance to one of neutrality. For the past two years, the Fed held the key funds rate at 3 per cent to revive the economy and allow the financially crippled banking system to recover. This has meant that real

State of the Union message, and who lent his considerable credibility to the Democratic president's deficit-reduction tax plan. This is the 'overly accommodative' Federal Reserve chairman who brought US interest rates to 30-year lows and kept them there through President Clinton's first year in office.

Paul Smith, CBE, is no longer a mere purveyor of yuppie flash. He is becoming an insistent and articulate lobbyist on behalf of British design - the bespokesman of his industry. Doubtless, this shifts boxer shorts, and Paul Smith needs all the publicity he can get as he launches his first womenswear collection this year. But it

Finn admitted: 'To be honest the real reason I'm doing this is to get as much publicity as possible.' Meanwhile, in the programme was an advertisement for 'box-aerobics' classes run by Finn's partner, Pauline Dickson, urging women to 'come and get fit and learn self-defence at the same time in a fun, safe, environment'.

Bettino Craxi, Italy's longest-serving prime minister, who gave the Italian language the noun craxismo - a synonym for political decisiveness - is nonplussed. 'I think the imbecile who made the decision to remove the word is as big an imbecile as the one who decided to include it,' he said with characteristic craxismo. Giancarlo Oli, editor of Devoto-Oli, Italy's equivalent of the Concise Oxford, decided to delete the word from the next edition, due out in 1995.

they're made by people who can't draw - hack writers and accountants.' So what is the essence of cartoony-ness? 'Just funny drawings, basically - wild, surreal drawings - and butt-jokes.' Ah yes, butt-jokes. Ren & Stimpy is consistently, at times unnervingly, scatological, and sometimes snotological too.

in Arizona, cactus-rustling is a major social problem. Forty years ago, a man called Delmer Steel, the original rustler, uprooted his first Saguaro from the desert, strapped it to the back of his pick-up truck and delivered

Germany is providing 8bn Deutschmarks (pounds 3bn) to build housing for some of the families in Russia, as part of the cash-for-unity deal agreed with Moscow but little of this has been completed.

time women were allowed to have D-cups. The rest of us are with Louise Atkinson in the Daily Mail: 'women are intimidated by these powerful, cleavage-wielding women'. Both sides pretend to feminist principle, but the real difference, I fear, is the possession, or not, of cleavage.

It is a normal weekday in the Conran Shop. Oysters are selling on the stalls outside, smooth bespectacled men in loose suits lounge among the cocoon-shaped lampshades. Sofas and tables are spaced out like museum pieces across the shop floor.

At the same time another French designer, Madame Paquin, was turning out cocoon-shaped evening coats and costumes embroidered with - you've guessed it, roses.

He kept putting off rehearsing his campaign speech, in which he said, 'Mah fray-ins, this is a tahm of great pay-ril foah owuh blovid cuntrah.' He hated that speech.

yew, mah fray-ins, if we c'd git thim pin-strahped ayghaids down heah t' meet yew good folks, waall, mebbe they'd have thim a bitter idee whut a gret cuntrah we got heah - the Yew-nighted Stets of Uhmurka,' he'd cry, mopping his brow with a red bandanna

around portfolios of customers, arranged according to expected lifetime purchasing value. Even new product-development activities become secondary to the customer-management structure. The payoff can be enormous.

an all- individualised product.' These approaches are in their infancy, and no company has yet fully embraced a customer-management organisation structure. Nevertheless, those who effectively get their hooks into customers this way will probably have the basis for relationships that can, even in these fickle days, stand the test

Silly Questions: Advice for the deodorantly challenged

the more hirsute males need longer to shave and thus have less time available to deodorise themselves; hairy, deodorantly challenged,

overcoat, parked disconcertingly on Harry Enfield's rail by Mr Manzi's staff, was classified by them as 'worn but not rough'.) I later spoke to a distresser, reputedly the best in the business. Alex Carey's visiting card describes him, less dramatically, as 'specialist in painting and decorating fabrics and costumes'.

And if you think Compo's tight-fitting jacket and baggy trousers in Last of the Summer Wine have 'gone too far', you now know that his distresser, Mr Carey, agrees. Trouble is, Compo needs at least three identical versions of his garb: a spare for his stunt double and another to continue filming

I caught the odd drib and drab of yesterday's play between the adverts on Sky (that is, I was glued to my screen - a drib here and a drab there is all we are offered)

I doubt if all things green have yet gone so far out of fashion that cars bearing government-proposed 'eco-star' ratings will not be marketed as such

the numbers living in poverty have trebled to 3 million since the Tories came to power in 1979. So much for Mr Patten's egg-sucking lessons. How well have he and his predecessors been doing their job at the Department for Education?

[allusion: teach one's grandmother to suck eggs]

'This system spread from Mali to the West African coast, and then by slavery to America.' Cooder isn't being drawn into ethno-musicological speculation. 'I'm a practitioner, not an academic

At a Scotland Yard press conference yesterday Mr Condon said: 'There is only so much I can ask my officers to take. I have always said the arming of the Metropolitan Police will be event-driven and this shooting takes us closer to being armed.'

Among James's other books was one called Fame, so he should be able to explain to the Princess that, once a person becomes infected, celebrity is not event-driven, but celebrity-driven. Jackie Onassis retreated from public life 30 years ago, and her position in American life is now entirely one of curiosity

secretary of the Government's co-ordinating committee on cervical screening, the forerunner of the new structure, said that one of its concerns was the high number - about a quarter - of 'false-positive' cases, which result in women being given the test annually just in case cancer or pre-cancerous cells have developed.

Little grey persons from fruitcakeland: 'Dark White: Aliens, abductions, and the UFO obsession' - Jim Schnabel: Hamish Hamilton, 16.99 pounds

their spaceship. By now pyjama-clad, he was subjected to an intimate physical examination before being returned to the folk whence he came. This bizarre rumour has filtered up from fruitcakeland to the semi-serious press.

but on every page there is something new to make us wince. There isn't really a term for novels of this sort. It's certainly not fiction, and it's barely even faction. How about fuction? Shall we try fuction on for size?

Irresistible whistling song from Walsall's young-adult rap superstars. The video is pretty good too. Ben Thompson Furry Lewis: Fourth & Beale (Verve, CD). Superb grunt'n'slide set from a maverick country-bluesman, recorded live in bed. BT

of stories - presented, a little portentously perhaps, as a 'quartet of novellas'. They all have male protagonists and deal with what Garrison Keillor, in one of his latest outbursts of twee, has termed 'guyness'. Like The Book of Guys, from which that phrase comes, and a lot of other recent male fiction, the stories in The Palace Thief offer sympathetic anatomies of

In 'City of Broken Hearts', the protagonist, Buck, whose wife has left him for another man and whose piously modern son lectures him on the new sexual etiquette, offers a variation on one of the central 'guyness' riffs. 'He could certainly see how women had suffered great difficulty in the world, but he did not understand why this should be of concern to his son.

Paramours, Celebrated Handfast Spouses and Royal Changelings. Professionals informed him that he would have sold many more copies by substituting 'concubines' for 'handfast spouses' but, as he observed, 'I cherish my father's memory.'

Robbed of their best argument on the narrow front, the homocritical, as they now like to call themselves, have had to shift ground to the broad question of the undesirability of homosexuality as such.

In Britain, there is a special caste, known as the Royal Family, which is the focus of the prime and permanent attention of the infotainers. Here and there the odd politician gets the treatment - Profumo, Parkinson, Mellor, Yeo - but most of the time the headhunters of infotainment are after more

THIS week we have speakers who laugh more than their audiences and subjects of tickling experiments who may laugh if the experimenter says 'koochie-koochie'. In 'Laughter Punctuates Speech: Linguistic, Social and Gender Contexts of Laughter' (Ethology, vol 95, 1993), Robert R Provine draws some fascinating

conditioned to react to a gesture that precedes the tickle, rather than the tickle itself. Whereas Hoshikawa's pre-tickle gesture was the verbal stimulus 'cotyo-cotyo', the present researchers changed it to 'koochie- koochie'.

Captain Moonlight: Art of lunchmanship By CHARLES NEVIN

I'd rather have a host who made you welcome by at least sharing the same tucker, not one who makes you feel guilty about a bit of warm chicken. But this pale form of lunchmanship is catching on all over. Bound to be of American origin.

to simplify her life and, with a typical dramatic flourish, describes the sale as 'a cleansing of the heart and the mind and the soul'. In fact, she had reached a situation where she was over-housed. In addition to her principal residence in Beverly Hills, she had an apartment in New York and, until last year, a 20-acre estate by the beach in Malibu

But badgers are almost entirely nocturnal, and tend to be deliberate and slow in their movements: one thinks of them as trundlers and padders, rather than sprinters.

Poop-scoop proposals: Readers wanted more help for dog owners to be clean. Coin-op bins and plastic glove dispensers in parks were suggested; poop-scoops should be supplied free - and should be easier to find in supermarkets. Some thought carrying clean-up equipment should be compulsory.

Using the image-processing system, documents arriving from the post offices are made up into blocks of 3,000 items and put through the Unisys DP1800 reader-sorter. This machine performs all five processes formerly carried out in separate handling areas, at the rate of 55,000 documents an hour. First it reads the printed information on the document electronically. Next it

As the operator finishes keying the amount the image changes to the next document. Not all documents are in mint condition, and if the reader-sorter is unable to capture the printed information, it will transmit the document to a data correction work station, where the operator keys in the amount and any other

Some of these markets are little more than 10 years old, and yet the amounts of money being hedged, rehedged and hedged again in a seemingly never-ending spiral of computer-driven transactions have become almost beyond comprehension

the portfolio manager will sell some of his upside in return for protection against the downside. That position will then be rehedged with counterparties who have different priorities.

Dear Harry Enfield: A fond farewell to the comedian's rib-tickle-tabulous DJ characters, Smashie and Nicey. Now maybe it's time to disconnect the ubiquitous Mr Cholmondley-Warner

Mr You-Don't-Wanna-Do-That. When Smashie and Nicey opened their mouths, their language was, typically of you, right on the button: rib-tickle-tabulous. Remember last year's Brit Awards, when they summed up the whole not-exactly-rigorous electoral practices of the event in one word? 'It's vote-rig-mungous to be here,' Nicey said.

the quality lessons - was the Rover 200/400, launched in 1990 and also sold as the Honda Concerto. It was at base a Honda, but was so successfully 'roverised' that the Rover version was acclaimed as the more distinguished car and sold much better. The partnership was starting to come back into balance.

In contrast, its pupil, Rover, was performing startlingly well. Its 'roverised' version of the Honda Accord, the 600, was outselling its cousin

The spikadelic [software] icon piles on the mph, careering through gorgeously coloured jungles, snow-capped mountains and underwater mazes. With six zones in all, each with two areas, the total is some three times larger than the original,

When they used salmon skin last summer, they made a simple shoe, a loafer. For this summer, the loafers are made of more exotic stuff: Patagonian toothfish skin. They have also been known to use denim, unshaven hairy cowskin, and hairy suede.

forgiveness and reconciliations that come at the end of many lives, is obviously a good and necessary thing. But why prolong the state of un- life, un-death, just because the machinery to do so exists?

But time turns out to be a confusing commodity. Busy people will, if they can afford it, spend money to save time, buying time- saving equipment for their homes, pre-cooked meals and help with their chores. The unbusy, on the other hand, spend money to buy time - time to travel, time to learn, time to play and time to keep fit - or spend time doing for themselves what they used to pay others to do.

In the playground at primary school we practised the jump, sang the aaahmonies and trilled Paul's trademark 'oooh'. 'Twist and Shout' also became important in retrospect, as proof that the Beatles could indeed rock, and weren't just boring latter-day Schuberts

arrangements by Garth Hudson. Springsteen's 'Atlantic City' gets a Cajun accordion and a smear of rouge, while Dylan's 'Blind Willie McTell' becomes the perfect vehicle for the achy-breaky voices of Helm and Danko.

They're astute too. In 1983, a UB40 single failed to chart for the first time and the Midlands agit-reggae scene that spawned them was fading. They just dropped the songs about unemployment and learnt the words to Neil Diamond's 'Red Red Wine', which went to No 1

SO Kelvin MacKenzie is quitting as editor of the Sun. To read the posh papers you'd think Britain was losing the Crown Jewels. Suddenly Kelv is a loveable character, a great institution. The airy-fairies who live in Hampstead and Islington are saying he was a mighty fine guy. Some of these air-brains are even calling him a genius.

When my bait remained undisturbed, I decided that I must have scared the fox off when I went up the path. Not at all. As we were washing up, we heard a new wave of alarm-clucks sweep through the chickens outside. Looking quickly uphill, I saw that the white corpse had vanished. Then I noticed that something pale was jerking and

out of 260 items from the ancient world. Of the first 100 entries in the exhibition, about 10 per cent have a usually skimpy provenance, 40 per cent are allegedlies (as in 'allegedly from the region of Troy') and the remaining 50 per cent give the provenance as 'no indication'.

At first we, the British students in our Doc Martens and thermal underwear, imagined a medieval gingerbread beauty. After a week smothered on sweating trolleybuses, we closed our eyes to the Sovietski anarchitecture. After a fortnight we had realised that Hades is cold, not hot, and, like Chekhov's Three Sisters, we wept each night into our pillows, murmuring 'To Moscow

connects the different neighbourhoods of the huge Los Angeles basin and carries about 13 million people a day. The smog-choked Pacific coast city, once known as 'autopia' because of its 700 miles of modern freeways, faces months of gridlock on its already overcrowded roads.

Once again attention focused on disputed comments made by a politician to a journalist. In the past the Prime Minister has been at the centre of these rows dubbed variously as 'bastardgate', 'barmygate' and 'dinnergate'. This time it was Mr Lamont, still bruised by his dismissal eight months ago. But the result for Mr Major was the same: another debilitating row over his

In one of many attempts to unite the party and reassert his authority, Mr Major launched the ill-starred 'back to basics' campaign. Unsurprisingly, given the heavy overlap between right-wingery and Europhobia, it was given its most damaging moralising twists by representatives of those tendencies in the Cabinet. The havoc wrought by 'basics-gate' will live on, bringing accusations of hypocrisy when Tories of whatever stripe depart from mainstream standards of public and private morality.

Sir: Rosalind Miles does the cause of feminism no good when she accepts the News of the World's stereotyping of Bienvenida Perez-Blanco ('Why kiss 'n 'tell hurts women most', 15 March). Surely the 'bimboisation' of women by the tabloids is something to fight against: by accepting it, and blaming the woman, she is reinforcing a picture of women as nothing but adjuncts to men.

THE LATEST set of Boris Yeltsin's memoirs have finally arrived in Britain, not in the diplomatic bag, but in a cardboard box carried by one of the new breed of Russian 'biznizmen' now commuting regularly between Moscow and London.

humiliation in the World Cup qualification process, Graham Taylor is back on the tabloid back pages. 'Effing mad Turnip in TV shocker' yelled the Sun yesterday after the paper's bleep-checker had been put to work on Mr Duncanson's fly-on-the-dugout-wall piece about a year in the England manager's life. 'Taylor is set to stun TV audiences yet again with his

I started to dislike, and still do, groups of sports-playing men; the we- are-superior attitude is everything I hate. The group team ethic is: women are either bonkable or not, Indians or Pakistanis are inferior - 'We are the lads and we are the best.'

A hunting enthusiast since the age of 10, he still rides out the best horse he has ever had, apparently unhindered by both age and piloting through drooping, brambled eyebrows. The Double Silk team is completed by Ron Treloggen, 38, who used to ride for and against Martin Pipe in point-to-points down Bristol way

slovenly English in a determinedly street-cred production by Jon Harris. I was soon irritated by John Peters's Mafia-boss Pyrrhus and Adrienne Swan's brattishly whining Hermione. Then the Racinian mechanism engaged, stretching these apparently callow figures on the rack.

Children's menu for under-12s offers half portions plus Welsh rarebit, omelettes and breakfasty items. Preservative- and additive-free foods for small babies are offered; they are happy to heat up milk as well.

In 1954 he became Junior Counsel to the Crown in Peerage and Baronetcy Cases, an appointment he held only briefly (and brieflessly) until taking silk in 1956, although later he was appointed Honorary Historical Adviser in Peerage Cases to the Attorney General.

line Rovers over BMWs not simply because the cars are now well made and offer good value, but also because they are made in Britain and are seen to represent certain broguish British virtues. They buy for emotional reasons.

'Wayne is a happy guy,' said Myers. 'Suburban kids, like Nature, abhor a vacuum. They will always find a way to have a fun time.' As millions of burbanites across the globe discovered a hero, Myers was catapulted from a struggling stand-up comedian into an international film star, of the kind who, on a short trip to England, stays at the Dorchester

get it up. His would-be Lothario lope towards Felicity Kendal's Lucienne looks like the final stages of a sponsored walk across the Sahara. Repeated buttings-in from Ken Wynne's hilariously interfering family retainer don't help to bring out the Casanova in him either.

Heart attack? A card-carrier collapsing in the street could be treated in the ambulance on the basis of card-borne information on blood group and allergies.

Advice can be refined by selecting menu choices including 'recruitment', 'investment' and 'marketing'. For real churn-and-burn types there is even a 'one-minute decision maker' facility. But why would successful business people check their own judgement? 'There is a considerable intuitive element in every rational decision we make,'

friend's birthday party, he asked me to change out of my jeans. 'Will you wear some lipstick and earrings,' he pleaded. 'And put on a skirt and your clippy-cloppy shoes?' So I did, and he looked so pleased, and I remembered what it felt like to care about your mother's clothes.

The bright young comedians must at all costs seem hard-bitten, for fear of seeming sentimental or - worse - coddable. Somewhere along the line, comedy's necessary dissidence and anarchism has forgotten that a comic has in some degree to love his targets. The moderns have also been cursed by Political Correctness.

What was impossible to take away from the 900 was its reputation for crashworthiness, endorsed wholeheartedly both in Europe and in the famously demanding United States long before the car industry in general started to tighten up on passive safety.

As a result of the new realism, what one head-hunter calls 'mindless credentialism - excessive reliance on paper qualifications, which can compromise meritocracy' - is on the wane. This is hitting the thousands of aspirants who believe possession of an MBA

He describes the difficulty of rendering the crowiness of a crow, 'the barefaced, bandit thing . . . the macabre pantomime ghoulishness and the undertaker sleekness

But has Montpelier actually arrived? Though those who live there know it has, crusty-minded surveyors will often consider otherwise and downvalue sale prices accordingly. They refer to those houses close to the St Paul's border as 'too close to The Front Line'.

TOUCHE ROSS'S offices in Crutched Friars were a bit, well, crutched yesterday. A power failure knocked out electricity, the telephones and computers. The good news was that the lifts, which are on a separate power

(gay male nuns) as a protest against the Vatican's condemnation of homosexuality. There have been queer weddings in Trafalgar Square, 'kiss-ins' and 'cuddle-ins' in Piccadilly Circus, 'frenzied bonking' in a Wendy house outside Parliament and a 'homo promo' of posters featuring naked gay couples outside Conservative Central Office.

They have become household faces, at least in households of 25-year-olds. It's a cultish programme, watched by three million young culters, not all of them sober. What they love is jeering at the presenters and rubbishing the music. The present series finishes on Friday. Then what will happen to her?

More de-bafflement for puzzled readers. Is it my imagination, or do disproportionately many postcodes include the letter Q? (John Humbach, Brussels)

Toby do not get the terse rebuff familiar elsewhere and he has developed a verbal shorthand to accommodate as many enquiries as possible. Thus, Balding gave this clipped, definite-article-free and almost military run-down on his gelding's fitness yesterday. 'Horse in very good nick. Will only run on Saturday in hurdle race if trainer feels ground is suitable.'

Science: All the answers from dial-a-boffin: And now, everything you ever wanted to know about science but were too afraid to ask. Christopher Riley introduces a new telephone helpline

the original Chinon is an ancient wine- making centre. This Chinon is in a little parade of shops near the BBC's Kensington House in Shepherd's Bush, London - a dinky-boo suburb, central but leafy. The streets are now a one-way maze, punctuated by piffling roundabouts.
Neologisms: April-June 1994
Another source of bad press was necrotising fasciitis, the 'flesh-eating' bacterial infection that has struck seven people in the county

Among Brazil's poor, there are three sexes: Men, women and travestis - biological males who have changed themselves by art and science into something very close to females

The dehesas of Spain (montados in Portugal) are huge areas of scattered evergreen cork oak and holm-oak trees growing over flowery grassland

Perhaps the most remarkable aspect of oulipian writing is how unusually enjoyable it can be.

Now results from the first scientifically controlled trial of stenting versus conventional angioplasty have confirmed that a stent halves the chances of an artery becoming quickly reblocked

The ownership in the property remained in the pawnor subject only to the 'special interest' to which the pawnee was entitled for the purpose of protecting and realising his security.

The homoeopathic rationale for iscador is based on the fact that mistletoe like cancer, is a parasite, and that one can cancel the other out

Unitary councils themselves would have to band together in 'joint boards' to run the strategic services. Also, as any new unitaries would be far bigger than the existing districts, there would be a profusion of what would virtually be new area committees or councils.

the worst thing is verbal abuse to officials, especially linespeople. Umpires can take care of themselves. They've got the power. And now linespeople have, but quite a few are fairly reticent, and they just take all this abuse.

the Cheltenham Gloucester and National & Provincial N&P said the Halifax's move could lead to other lenders examining the discounts and cash-backs they offered their customers

ANOTHER topsy-turvy session shares swung from despair to exhilaration as the stock market clung grimly to New York's coat- tails Casinoesque' and a 'nightmare' were how dealers described the volatile conditions

the class-clash comedy, The Riff Raff Element, in which the Tundishes down-at-heel southern aristocrats, are compelled to live cheek-by-jowl with the vulgar Belchers from Salford

The Reed Elsevier board wanted the group to be run collegiately by an executive committee

Communicopia. It's intended to describe any company with multi-media pretensions, companies at the cutting edge of convergence between television, telephony and computers.

In the past alcoholics have been given coprine, a toxic agent present in the common ink-cap mushroom (Coprinus atramentarius).

Baykonyr and Leninsk will continue under Russian jurisdiction and the military will remain in control of the cosmodrome. A further payment to help with cleaning up the toxic chemicals left by discarded rocket stages may be negotiated at a later date. During the prolonged negotiations over the cosmodrome's future, loud voices particularly among the Russian military, were heard in favour of an expansion of the other main launch centre at Plesetsk near Archangel.

if you do ask to try something on, explain that you're a crossdresser, not a TV. A TV is assumed by many to be a sex pervert. Crossdressers are seen as more mature

The fact is that Muslim leaders in Bosnia have also pursued a policy of culturecide.

delayering, delevelling, downsizing and flattening - are euphemisms for three of the most important words of all: 'You are fired'.

A pioneering deal between an orchestra and cable television is likely to bring in the age of 'dial-a-concert' when the Royal Philharmonic starts a residency in Nottingham this autumn. The orchestra has signed an agreement with Diamond Cable TV.

This debate over how much dryland crop failures and shortages are due to natural drought and how much to man-made degradation is a sterile one.

THEY rolled around the stage like demonic sex dolls, dressed in their glam-trash S & M outfits designed to thrill

Don't blame me, blame the remuneration committee, is the standard defence of a chief executive when asked to justify his mega-salary or vastly inflated pay rise

And yet these are social engineering measures designed to limit freedom and adjust behaviour for the better - in short nannyisms.

`Flaming' is netspeak for crazy rows which blaze out of control for months. Romantic passion can flare up in a similar untempered way. If you stay behind the screen. you can always Perot (to Perot: netspeak for `to unexpectedly quit').

If this happens, the whole opencasted area will be returned to green fields and woodland.

The south-east seems unable to rise much above pub-grub, kebabs and tandooris.

A petite, bird-like beauty with a Lollobrigida-esque penchant for heavy eyeliner, Mrs Heard de Osborne was a shop-a-holic. Not just any old shop-a-holic. Mrs Heard de Osborne had a serious thing about clothes.

He has terrific range of movement and springability

benefit payments ... which account for one-third of post office counter transactions, could eventually be paid through 'swipeable' cards rather than benefit books

it aims to move luggage - including golf bags and skis - between the main terminal and the 80 different gates in a fast-moving fleet of telecars' - plastic bins that will travel at up to 19 mph on 20 miles of metal track.

The increase in home working and the possibilities of the telecroft, wired to the world through modem and telephone, have begun to change the age-old dependency on sheep and fish.

The world of computer totware, apparently, moves too fast for adults to keep up. Computers designed for three-year-olds, but actually usable by bright two-year-olds, will be on sale in the UK next summer

Joseph Gallivan braves the ecru knitwear and skinny ribs of two thousand twentynothings for the Brand New Heavies.

The music press has developed a distinct way of talking about music - one based largely on adjective-mongering and over-indulged metaphors, but also characterised by irony and humour.

The awful feeling, when telling someone a tale, that you have told them it before: anecdoubt (Mollie Caird)

He becomes an actor, then a star; marriage to Maya follows, and dalliance with the ankle-braceleted Muslim beauty Mehnaz.

'Look at that chest! It's Friday and he's back: Agassi, the hairy anti-bore.

Only once, in January, was the anti-naff rule suspended. That was for the Good Riddance Diana Eighties Ball, to mark the Princess of Wales's retirement from public life.

Sammy said. High-speed aquabatics are the norm, the police and the smugglers dodging each other at 60 mph in heavy seas.

You end up feeling that 40 years of institutionalisation would be too good a fate for Williams's attention-hoggingly bashful doctor

And is it better to listen to a badly abridged and poorly read audiobook, even if that book is a classic, than to see a brilliant piece of populist cinema?

The really striking thing about Pol Pot's Cambodia - unlike the current ethnic/tribal conflict between the Tutsi and Hutu in Rwanda - was that it was an 'auto-genocide': namely, ethnic Khmer murdering fellow ethnic Khmer.

In faithfulness to my three-year-old's question, I would like him to grow into some of the following awarenesses, even if I couldn't put them into easy words in the Bologna Art Gallery: suffering is not to be celebrated; it does not redeem; it is not any kind of punishment from God, whether direct or vicarious.

Reinhart patriotically preferred another strand of Swiss Romanticism: the alpine view, whose practitioners, aiming to awestrike with their cloud-capped visions of mountain scenery, saw in Switzerland a pure and primitive place

It emerged last week that Tony and his delightful wife Cherie, who is a Roman Catholic, have visited the London Oratory School, a posh Catholic opt-out in Fulham, with a view to sending one of their children there. There was much predictable Tory backbenchery over this

With 17 per cent of readers believing in fairies, it's easy to envisage a flock of be-anoraked touch-me-nots wielding binoculars in Shropshire tree-houses.

You can imagine how the Davids Lynch and Byrne would have beanfeasted on these ingredients - the physical and mental 'freaks', the colourful small-town fruitcakes - but Hallstrom doesn't patronise his characters

Employers need to think about providing storage space for cyclists, and public tranport should become more bike-friendly.

While Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells or Winchester and Eurosceptics generally may fume in the traffic jams on either side of the route, there is no reason to doubt that thousands of bikies on the crests of the hills will see an authentic slice of Tour de France action.

While the biological control literature cites some spectacular success stories, it is also littered with cases of failure and surprising events such as biocontrol organisms not doing what they were supposed to do despite all the evidence to the contrary

Even the physical/digital containers to which we've become accustomed - floppy disks, CD-roms and other discrete shrink-wrappable bit-packages - will disappear as all computers jack-in to the global Net.

In contrast to the genteel blazerati of previous years, Norman moved into the marketplace indeed it could be said that he helped create a new market

She's assured in her style, graceful under pressure and astonishingly bleep-free for a football manager.

His appearance at Wembley Arena was all about this strange contrast between phenomenal record sales and self-effacing blokedom.

it's only in the last of the three roles that she scores a direct hit, her eye-patched Bawd like some venereally decrepit version of Barbara Windsor, the bottle-blondness pitted with disgusting sores.

Alas, for every family picnicking amid the buttercups at Goodwood there would be at least 10 waiting for the breadwinner - or in most cases the breadloser - to come home from the betting shop.

ALBUMS: A philosopher's life is not worth living By ANDY GILL CRASH TEST DUMMIES God Shuffled His Feet (RCA 74321 20152 2) A SMARTASS start - a scratchy stuck-needle sound - leads into a sampled breakbeat loop, and eventually into the title-track.

Backstage, Thomas Arne's music flooded the auditorium for the very last time and the company manager, Kevin Grant, stood by in the wings ready to snip the wired artefacts (pheasants, antlers, hunting horns) from the set. Souvenir hunting was not encouraged. Instead, everything was bubble-wrapped and transferred to two of Paul Matthew's 40ft lorries

A tiny plastic screen that sticks to the rear window and periscopes a bumper-eye view of just how close you are to the car behind when parking.

While it is customary for members of the alternative society to invite you round to see their camcordered record of the fat legs, latrine mudslides and coma cases that make up the summer's best outdoor do, there hasn't been a Woodstock-style feature film of the event until now.

Hemp is useful in making ropes. As it happens, I am familiar with the economics of cannibiculture in Ireland, having once found a monograph of that title in the British Library.

What you get with all these beers is a bit more tartness and fruitiness, because of the secondary fermentation in the bottle - a bit more champagney-ness, if you like.

Childress has a wonderful ear for the callow wit of student conversation, its short attention-span as it channel-surfs between subjects, its cautious fencing at emotions.

Claire J Paul sees her middle initial 'uniting the female and male sides of my name. I feel it also unites the female and male aspects of my personality into a perfectly formed whole.' Her J stands for Jaime, which we thought was a Spanish chap, but she says is a French chappess.

Mr Hosokawa has been gambolling like a schoolboy at the beginning of his summer holidays, merrily attending dinner parties and cherry-blossom-viewing ceremonies as if nothing had happened.

Having to lead from the front to show his commitment to the cause, he joined the company's Overweight Club. This, he says, is not a kind of AA meeting for chubbies We just competed to slim down,' he says.

The best kind of second-hand bookseller doesn't even look up. He avoids your eye, like a priest in some foreign Catholic church when you, the happy sightseer, wander in to look round and he conveys the impression that a) he would rather you were not there b) you will probably churchlift something.

The men in suits are responsible for the conspicuousness of the camouflaged. Stuart Cockerill however, maintains that London is packed with combat-jacketed figures so effectively camouflaged as to be invisible.

'It's not a political decision. It's about conservation'. Norman Hindle (Con) is fuming, accusing the council of 'conservation-itis'.

this new breed of media intruder is more insidious than anything we have seen so far from Murdoch For the couch-based sports fan, the implications are wildly varied. There will be a diet heavy with junk

Companies that take credit control seriously often tend to use it at an earlier stage in the selling process. They credit-vet potential customers before attempting to sell to them, rather than after ordering.

The gays succeeded where the yuppies failed not just because of their famed pink pound' but because of their 'cruisiness', their desire to see and be seen, to gaze out on the world and its attractions (and sometimes get their hands on them

And the forthcoming cycle messenger world champion-ships will feature a funeral cycle-past in honour of two-wheeled fatalities.

The photograph of David Bower, who plays the deaf brother, was taken under different lighting conditions from everybody else's, and stuck out too much when they put it in the collage. The marketing men then got worried that just to leave Bower out would be 'deafist'. So they chopped poor Tom (James Fleet) off too.

Though she never quite fitted this company, she contributed a touch of chic, dancing Venus in Planetomania (with music by Norman de Muth), Maria in a ballet of Twelfth Night (with music by Grieg), both ballets choreographed by Inglesby and glamorously decored by Doris Zinkeizen.

The United States and Russia made a similar deal in January and American missiles were also 'detargeted' on Monday.

Alan was explaining to his client that he had managed to negotiate a five-figure fee with one of our leading dimensionally-challenged newspapers for an exclusive photograph of Jimmy with spade doing said community service.

These are the sort of people who think that Lavazza is an item on Eurotrash. Somewhere between fast, ethnic and a few stragglers from dinkiedom, there's a happy medium struggling to get out. A few good places do exist, and they are packed every night.

after only a short history, well over 10 million people can read and write Esperanto to some extent, one shouldn't consign this growing language to any dinosaurean swamp yet.

The Devonshire, recently acclaimed as 'Britain's most dog-friendly pub', accepted the trophy, a bottle of Walter Hicks 125 Navy Rum.

Despite this, copying persists. The future seems to offer two options; the use of 'dongles' plugged into our PCs to permit each bit of software to run (quite entertaining when you've got five or six to fit in) or the monthly subscription system you describe.

Hal Hartley's Amateur - a droll, surreal underworld 'dramedy' starring Isabelle Huppert as an ex-nun turned pornographic novelist.

I also want them to enjoy the privilege of growing up in a truly diverse, multi-ethnic, multi-cultural society But, despite the endless snub-nosed, dungaree'd sweeties who today beam out from the advertising hoardings, life in the capital is not tailored to accommodate real live kids.

As a student he displayed mind-boggling skills as a score reader, transmuted into ear-boggling charisma as a conductor.

By 1989 we were outselling our nearest rivals (Buxton and Highland Spring by three to one,' she says. A case, you could say, of eauverhyped eauverpriced and eauverhere. Can she bring fresh fizz to old waters (Hannibal was drinking 'Perrier' water - unbottled and unlabelled at the time - when he passed through Vergeze on his ill-fated march on Rome.

Euro-consciousness is high among those under 30 and has a definite cut-off age. Older people are more interested in domestic issues.

My clients like to look unique. I suppose they'll pay around 1,200 pounds for a silk cocktail dress, 2,000 pounds for an ordinary suit and around 2,500 pounds for something evening-y. They wouldn't buy anything off-the-peg.

Modern Motoring (BBC2), which has just completed the fifth and final leg of its hugely diverting journey. The series motored off over the horizon with a look at the familymobile.

for the past few weeks I've had the mother of all sore throats. Not that that's particularly surprising - all my friends have got sore throats, too. But trust me, theirs aren't nearly as bad as mine. Mine is really serious. Mine is necrotising fasciitis. Inside, I just know my flesh is liquifying. I can feel it bubbling away fasciitisly.

'Fashion is a business cyclical, hysterical and insecure'. What raises The Designer Scam above the run of fashiony books is its lack of laziness. Although it is repetitive and sometimes sloppy, repeating anecdotes and recycling stuff known to every rubbish-retaining magazine reader

Some will fax a list of entries to you and larger auction groups like ADT and CMA, offer fax-back numbers.

Some time in the next five to 10 years, the tail will wag the dog and the print newspaper will just advertise the electronic product However, not many people think that the print newspaper, with its familiarity, foldability, low price, portability and quick-to-read design will disappear overnight. '

As well as Anna Sui's Seventies football-strip-inspired clothes in satin and stripes, there are fellow New Yorker Laura Whitcomb's sporty stripes for Label, shown on the catwalk for this summer.

The electric toothbrush offered no clinical advantage over its manual counterpart, properly used (the latter only appeared in its modern plastic-handled, nylon-bristled form in 1940 - made by Addis under the brand-name Wisdom). Possibly its new-toy appeal encouraged gizmophiles and recalcitrant children to attend to a tedious daily chore.

At the height of the fad, even Marks & Spencer were turning out a line of grunge-wear and people who had never heard of the Sub Pop label could still talk about grunge.

PETER THOMPSON runs courses at the Garden School, Craven Arms, Shropshire He thinks there are two kinds of gardener: androcentrics judge their gardens by signs that they are in control, gynocentrics respond intuitively to their gardens and welcome surprises.

On the odd occasion that a head or governing body tries to improve any of this, there are usually outcries of whingeing, puritanical self-denial - a form of hair-shirtism that helps no one.

The downside of that is a return to the petty irritations of student communal living, getting hate-ons over people who disappear to the loo when it's time to wash up, use all the hot water before daylight, and leave socks in the inglenook.

But that's still Barry in there, almost tangibly polo-necked and Cuban-heeled. The man is not just naff, he is actually hip-resistant. All efforts at up-grading are in vain, defeated by the very Barryness of Barry.

And nothing better illustrated Sackville-West's hoity-toitiness, he argues, than her famous garden at Sissinghurst, which excluded 'bedint' (bourgeois) suburban flowers. Rhododendrons, for example were out because they resembled 'fat stockbrokers

Accommodation was not difficult to find. There were three 'hotels' in the village, ranging from basic to hygienically-challenged. My girlfriend and I opted for the Hotel Solartex, where the bed- linen looked as though the previous occupants had wiped their boots clean on it.

TIME for your weekly meander down the byways which lead off the information superhighway, or infobahn, as I'm told we must now call it.

But is there any deep point to jubilee-itis? In June 1994, are we making too much fuss about D-Day?

Some supporters argue that Mrs Beckett is reflecting true party policy rather than the watered-down, modernised version. But most accept that this was an attempt to define different, 'lefter-than-thou' territory to Mr Blair and Mr Prescott while sticking within policy. As one friend put it: 'We did talk about differentiation from Blair - but then it just happened.'

Kathleen Turner is unstoppably larger than life. But in these politically correct, liposucked days that's a perilous claim on screen glory. For size is sometimes nothing but too much flesh.

Potent and tenacious as this myth may be, however, it requires a certain tentativeness in discussion, partly because it is one of the stock properties of luvvyspeak at its worst; partly because most sensible actors are understandably fed up with the ignorant prejudice that they are a bunch of neurotics, hysterics and flakes; and partly because, like so many other bits of cant or near-cant, it was blasted more than 200 years ago by Samuel Johnson

So what better way is there for canned draught Guinness to illustrate its smoothness, its up-marketness, its made-it-ness, than to contrast itself with the horrors of Seventies lifestyle?

at the end of his life Doisneau became a media figure in his own right - not least because he was an entertaining and amusing speaker, a character who was eminently mediatisable. His personal qualities, of warmth complicity, humour, made him known via television and radio to a wider non-photographic public.

The second disc is better, as the band stretch out and the songs move through various stages and slip into other songs, with Van quoting lines snagged in his memory from favourite R & B songs and effectively medleyfying virtually the entire course of R & B history. The truly impressive thing, however, is not the compendiousness, but the way they're blended so seamlessly into a harmonious whole.

Paris has resisted the universal pressures that have afflicted all those ancient cities which swelled to megapolitan size in the 19th century. London, Rome, Milan, Vienna, Brussels, Boston, Philadelphia and New York have all suffered as much as Paris

The dog quickly morphs into a humanoid with anarchic tendencies.

the disparate talents of the Auteurs, St Etienne, Pulp and Suede were half- heartedly lumped together under a 'neo-glam' banner which they all despised.

It is perfect City-clerk to middle-management Edwardian, with its great room of heavy, high-backed decorative chairs, nicotined plaster ceiling and dark wood panelling, with the big picture at one end of the king uncovering four-and-twenty blackbirds baked in a pie.

It began in the late Sixties, when the American defence department decided it wasn't smart to have its computer hub centred in one nukeable spot.

What better advocates could there be for the case that there's nothing queer about Quorn. Quorn might be perceived - to use the marketing-speak - as just a bit valetudinarian and nut-cutlet-ish, a bit lacking in life's oomph-factors.

Liberal Democrat officials were fuming, claiming yesterday to have been inundated by calls from optically-challenged voters who had put their crosses by the Literal Democrat's name by mistake.

Considerable amounts of property were discovered at various houses Among the items found were silverware, including snuff-boxes and candelabra jewellery, clocks and lacquered papier-macheware. But police said it was too early to say whether the items came from the six premises that were burgled.

Next door nestles a far more promising looking restaurant, relatively speaking, but it was not one for us. No. The Bosquet is unutterably pass-byable, so watch out. You'll be passing by a little jewel.

Early male phone-phobics, however, included Joseph Conrad, who insisted friends communicate by telegram or letter. Franz Kafka found phone conversations 'impossible to understand'.

He chose great models - Celine and Genet - and always said he was not a pornographer but a 'pornocrat'. Despite being considered a marginal freak, Calaferte went on writing.

what is out has an uncanny knack of becoming what is in. Post-grungers and ambient soul searchers are getting restless. They are starting to appreciate old-fashioned musical qualities like disco and pure pop

As to Britain's place in the world, we cling to bargain-basement great powerdom while refusing to embrace our geopolitical resting place in Europe.

A practisaholic in the Gooch mould, Cronje, with his elegant aggression, has emerged as South Africa's most dependable batsman of the new era.

He glanced around the restaurant. 'This is a nice place,' he said, 'very razzmatazzy; but in my view the really serious Salon Women go to Harry's Bar. They like sitting next to captains of industry.'

Equally Sun Treader blasts away like the best of those rockesque Yankees heard in a chamber concert as part of the same season

Still waters run deeper: The Perrier predicament: salewise it has lost its fizz; designwise it has slightly lost its bottle.

SOUTH Africa has produced some doughty seventysomethings - none more so than Nelson Mandela and Helen Suzman

Playtex, which makes Superlook Secrets, reacted indignantly when I suggested that stuffing your stomach into a girdle might be a retrograde step. 'It's not a pantie girdle,' she said; 'It's shapewear. It's pretty. It's the perfect alternative to holding your breath. And it has a secret panel, so you won't know you're wearing it, and nor will anyone else.'

Had all that spin-doctoring on behalf of the modernisers gone so unnoticed by Mrs Bottomley?

Till now there has been a tacit agreement that rival sudsers are spread out through the week, allowing the viewers to get their fix while other more demanding forms flourish alongside.

This time, so the techno-freaks will tell you, the information superhighway has really arrived on the doorstep, delivering phone and TV services, not to mention tele-shopping, tele-commuting tele-learning, tele-dating, tele-everything.

Variations on a confetti theme occurred in several suggestions. Brian French proposes a use as 'unconfetti for divorce parties',

My grilled chicken breast came with a black bean salsa; those whose experience of black beans stop with their presence in Chinese takeaway dishes should be advised that, in their unglutamated form, they're from the boring end of the pulse family

But wherever an exaggerated sense of upper-crustery may lead, it means never having to say you're sorry. All aristocrats, says Nancy Mitford in Noblesse Oblige, are 'impervious to a sense of shame. Shame is a bourgeois notion'

The publisher very cleverly and artistically tinted some of the pages the same colours as fruit stains. I begged them not to. I told them it was a wallyish thing to do.

ALLISON Pearson and other British television critics seem unfamiliar with a key term in the vocabulary of MTV/Channel 4's Beavis and Butt-Head. It's not 'woosie' but 'wussy', a combination of 'wimp' and 'pussy', which rhymes with the latter. The term is invariably used as a noun in variant forms, ie 'what a wuss'. It is mildly euphemistic,

elsewhere the talk is all of 'xeriscape'. Derived from the term 'xeric', which describes plants that grow in dry conditions, xeriscaping is a conservation-conscious form of gardening in which plants appropriate to the area are grown in near-natural conditions, thus saving water and maintaining the natural ecological balance.

lunching with Conservative students at the London School of Economics, he was pelted with eggs, flour and orange juice, on behalf, he was yellingly informed, of pensioners and the unemployed.
Neologisms: July-September 1994
In a speech to the Voluntary Services Overseas, the Prime Minister praised their work and 'anti-yob culture' and said he wished Britain had more recognition for its overseas volunteers 'If you don't like our jewellery, fuck off'. It won an award, but roused the ire of anti-yob moralists.

The tag has nothing, he claims, to do with Tom Forcade's political faction of hippies, who called themselves the Zippies (Zeitgeist International Party) after breaking away from the Yippies Youth International Party) To Clark's fellow zippies - Zen Inspired Pronoia Professionals - this is known as the Parallel University'

a venue in which to discuss their aethestic reactions can sip coffee in front of computer screens at Scotland's first cyber-cafe

No, by a near-life experience I mean something transcendental, a moment when one feels that existence is not after all absurd My second near-life experience occurred on karaoke night at Scribes, when Frankie Fraser's lovely Marilyn sang 'Stand By Your Man'

But few Russians seem quite so disoriented by the change as its detektivshchiki They are used to describing Soviet reality. Now reality is much tougher

she said, 'You got a real voolly for those sandwiches.' 'Voolly', it turns out, is an Italian-American corruption of the verb volere - to desire.

New row over cash-for-questions: Labour claims some inquiry MPs 'not impartial'.

It sounds bizarre, but David Ashford's Microsonic spaceplane is a serious proposition.

members of 16 animal species that fed on fish from the lakes known to be contaminated with some of the oestrogen-like chemicals were failing to reach adulthood, or were sterile.

Americans, Canadians, Australians, Swiss) believe in 'one best way' - a set of rules that applies in any setting. Particularists (Koreans Chinese, Malaysians, at the other extreme) focus on the peculiar nature of a situation one should not take 'get to know you' chatter as merely small talk it is the main event to particularists

in Sarajevo SNIPER rifles were silent across Sarajevo yesterday, as an anti-sniping agreement came into force across the city.

TELEVISION / The Paul Whitehouse experience: He was the blond one with the big teeth who did a 'lodda work for cheriddy' - Smashie to Harry Enfield's Nicey.

And he regards the caring of the healthists as a hypocritical cover for crude authoritarianism As healthism is driven by power,' he writes, 'rather than by concern for the welfare of fellow men, Skrabanek's thesis is that the healthism of morbid dingbats like Kellogg lives on; there is a straight line of descent down to the prevailing medical ideology

there is surely some public responsibility to do more on the provocative front This is the typical healthist leap of logic which has transformed the practice of medicine. No longer is health a normal state of equilibrium and

Genuine kloofers wear sun-hats, swimming trunks and soggy shoes, and carry rucksacks and lilos Kloofing becomes compelling because it is so utterly simple. All it involves is finding the quickest way down a river valley.

The latest British buzz-phrase, which may surface in Mr Major's speech, is of a 'multi-core Europe This vision is dismissed by senior continental politicians as hankering after a return to the Europe of Metternich and Castlereagh, of shifting and unstable alliances between nation-states manoeuvring ceaselessly for advantage. You can no more have a multi-core European Union than you can have a multi-core apple, they will say.

Until 10 years ago, the offroad market was driven by people who needed four-wheel drive, such as farmers.

Pronoia', Clark informs the assembly, is the sneaking suspicion that others are conspiring behind your back to help you.

'Shraff is a corruption of 'shord' or 'sherd Brammer wrote A shraff tip or shord-ruck was the name given to the areas used for depositing the smashed or spoiled products of ovens and kilns.

in 90 degree heat and 75 per cent humidity. The solution, according to the magazines, is this season's floaty little vest-dress

I suffer from a condition probably called car-blindness: an inability to tell one car from another

thin-hammered steak served in a bowl with lots of wine and mustard-flavoured gravy, chips and sometimes a fried egg Lisbon's cervejarias are not as spectacular or as sophisticated as their Paris cousins

their answer is structured as four separate scenarios, the last and most optimistic of which - the Russian economic 'miracle', or chudo could, they suggest, be the one to bet on

This summer, a new look has evolved out of drag. It is being called demi-drag' and involves elements of both menswear and womenswear.

The vegetarian missionary is determined to preach the gospel of meatlessness

AN ELECTRONIC sniffer dog named Bloodhound could help police pick out a suspect by identifying the unique 'smellprint' of their body odour has promising potential as a forensic science aid for police, who might consider building up a smellprint database of known criminals.

he is the only man in London to use a new gimmick from California - the transcooter - to get around The transcooter, known as a Goped, has a 1.2 hp, 22.5 cc engine strapped over the back wheel.

Feeding encourages a super-abundance of birds, which can lead to unhealthful conditions for them.

we can still eat proper xingaraspia, the notable ham made from its flesh No doubt you will shortly be able to obtain xingaraspia in whatever stately food-dome you frequent, as long as you and they can pronounce it

'An absco, that means an absconder. She discharged herself from the Whittington Hospital.

there is much official and private corruption, and business, politics and organised crime often overlap. This cocktail has been called anarcho-capitalism there is much official and private corruption, and business, politics and organised crime often overlap. This cocktail has been called anarcho-capitalism

Attachment-disorder children appear to have no conscience, and they do not experience conflict as painful.

agencies believe that a woman in the Home Counties may be arranging babies-for-cash deals for desperate couples prepared to smuggle children out of Romania

The programme quoted figures for the first month of a benefit-capping scheme in New Jersey a newly introduced system of benefit-capping in New Jersey had halved the number of babies born to single mothers.

bouldering - literally rock climbing up boulders rather than a sheer cliff-face There is an artificial indoor bouldering wall in Mile End

that they taste the same in Peking as they do in London or New York, and so it was that Burgernomics was born McDonald's and the world of burgernomics

vice cards in telephone kiosks was growing Westminster council said: 'We have had reports of residents being threatened by the carders

'This section of the game is presented commercial-free by GMC Truck.' this portion of the game is brought to you commercial-free by Snickers

So no, I don't want the computer-equivalent of a Nissan Micra. I want the computer-equivalent of a Ferrari

communication between branches is prevented, in practice but not principle, by their 'decoherence

I very much hope that he be disastered and that the Russian electorate give him the boots, because this conversation revealed him to be anti-Semitic and dictatorial

THE Independent Television Commission's dismissal of Carlton's docu-glitz series (that's what they call them now) Hollywood Women is now legendary

The disadvantage of dwarfing rootstock is that the dwarfer it is, the fussier it is.

In particular, the trade unions pushed the idea of 'eco-auditing', the process whereby workers and employers monitor and report on workplace and production activities aimed at the targets laid down

And, when you have an educational system which puts a premium not on the educability of the child but on the price of its education, the challenge to the teacher is the financial cost of

Next week she could be feeding the goldfish in a pop star's penthouse flat Doreen is a professional 'homesitter' with a flexible approach to domesticity.

Darren Sherman, David Dowarris and Darren Fergus, all aged 13, call themselves junglists. They shop at Cecil Gee, Woodhouse and Harvey Nichols We wear straight-leg jeans, not the big, baggy, bleached ragga style,'

Despite the generally perceived nature of late-nighters en masse, Frith Street is probably one of the safest roads in the city

a Czech dissident yearns to be jailed again - for the quiet; Kapuscinski is driven similarly mad by media-crush. One reason he returns to Poland to write is that the phone connections are so bad.

The vendors are pinhookers, those bold speculators whose commodity is foals bought to re-sell as yearlings, foals bought to re-sell as yearlings,

Rag-meat (you had better brace yourself for this) is the stuff even maggots won't eat.

the invention of team syntegrity could be just the thing. 'Syntegrity is a powerful invention in the organisation of normative, directional and strategic planning and other creative decision processes,'

technological innovation has generated a comparable mass-production of new terms. Bryson is entranced and captivated by the way in which techno-craze after techno-craze has swept the country

professional understanders abound, especially in Western diplomatic services The theocrats of Tehran understand their 'understanders' and exploit them

At last, Marine girl and Marine boy in the buff] Camp and slightly kinky, these vids will do you like a kipper. but you kept us conquered with jokes and dancers, death and beauty, holographs, lasers, vids, with perfectly engineered and orchestrated suspense.

Twenty-seven police officers - all from one unit in central Hamburg were suspended The police union was furious, talking of 'blind actionism', and of innocent people being branded because of 'hearsay'

It is deeply marked by a vegetarian animal-liberationist form of Christianity first promulgated by the heretical Free Franciscan Church'

just as xenophobia in 'The Great Migration', the last essay, is fundamentally irrational, arational even, like a force of nature

Her particular brand of interplanetary craft would render the most cynical astrophobe starstruck

the final of International Young Driver of the Year (BBC 2) was mainly for automaniacs.

their curiosity was perhaps whetted by the prospect of discovering what kind of protective gear a skirt-wearing batsperson might use

An extension of the E-mail system, binary mail or 'binmail' means you can send data other than plain text.

What is new - and, for Unionists, shockingly new - is the beginning of what might be called the de- Britification of Northern Ireland as a problem and perhaps ultimately as a territory.

There is no straight answer here, and as this journey drags on forever and bus-lag sets in, a remark read earlier and puzzled over begins to make sense.

The bus-scape between Athens and London was a blur of cars and Tarmac and fields too close to the motorway

Women offended by BA's new advertising campaign for Club Europe - 'It's one giant leap for businessmankind' - are supposed, according to the press office, to take solace in the wordplay on 'mankind'

The book is good on software-driven Netiquette blunders - like accidentally cc-ing your entire company with a private E-mail note that explains, in detail, why your line manager is such an incompetent prat

Eastbourne Victoria's inner harbour remains a panoply of colourful imperial architecture, dominated by the provincial Parliament Buildings, the chateauesque Empress Hotel of 1908, and the Neoclassical Canadian Steamship Terminal

The mood is celebratory from start to finish. Each number is a singalong / cheeralong favourite, so the whole evening feels like an encore

Some weeks ago Sarah had turned up in the 'wrong' outfit: a suit. It was too smart, apparently. A bit city-businessy.

Mr Lester says the experience of pilot schemes during the past year suggest the new regime can realise its goal of improved enforcement (civil-ese for 'more motorists nabbed') and increased compliance

As a Christian gathering, it was a further victory for attacking happy clappiness and the Jesus-in-everything firm.

It feels more like a fanzine than the brainchild of a marketing department. It has a clubby-pubby all-lads-together hedonism and a healthy disrespect for pretension and all things

At the other extreme, fewer than 3 per cent of Italian couples cohabitate and less than 10 per cent of marriages in Spain and Italy end in divorce

The research assistant at Birmingham University came under suspicion following a tip-off from American computer-vice officers who had informed the British authorities of child pornography entering the US via the Internet

The best scenes are the confabs between Laughton and Peter Ustinov (conflabs?), mainly penned by Ustinov: 'You and I have a tendency towards corpulence,' confides Laughton. 'Corpulence makes a man reasonable pleasant

The competitor is responsible for the correctiveness of the score recorded at each hole.

For all her cosyism - 'That darn Hussein' - and her horrible, slobbery dog, Millie, she seems patently a gruesome faker

This constant denigration of science, this wilful crackpotry, this gormless search for gurus, in the context of all these deaths becomes much worse than aggravated eccentricity

Finally, Caroline Hull sidetracks us on to occult paths with a brief introduction to cutleromancy - divination from implements left in washing-up bowls.

Maryland opens first cyber-library: A US state is giving free access from home or work to the Internet.

The work's appeal is also the 'dancerliness' of its movement - rare in the recent climate of physical theatre.

another level of censorship being imposed on video, this time for generic horror fare already defanged, deballed and depleted by the existing legalisation

These loose kaftans and slacks and cleverly wrapped tunics were and are - much loved by the designocracy, particularly as they elegantly concealed incipient middle-age spread,

Danny was ordered to the bathroom to de-slug himself

Wayne is an intriguing character He wears a headscarf in a 'do-rag' style like Hilda Ogden. He is always using words like 'connotate' and 'appellation' and holding impromptu spelling bees.

The film has tremendous potential to cross over, but it was a film made by and for lesbians, and if that's where it stays, it's okay by me - and if it can use the sudden interest in dykedom, then that's fine by me too.

in all the acres of newsprint devoted to the 'discovery' of stylish dykery, there is something that has not been said: why is there no male equivalent? Why is there no such thing as faggot chic?

Trade unions call for workplace eco-audits

It is the public parading of private concerns that brings out the barmy, and The Hague was no different in kind from Rio eco-freakism and the forthcoming Cairo ding-dong about population.

Let's face it, sound eco-practice does not bode well for annual growth rates or supply-side economics.

To Clark's fellow zippies - Zen Inspired Pronoia Professionals - this is known as the Parallel University', the 'edu-tainment' sphere in which music and lecture run side by side in organic harmony.

In an instant she un-Englished him.

he has two personal computers (a laptop and a desktop machine), a CD-rom drive, a document scanner, and a 'floptical drive on evaluation

For other food shopping I like Sainsburys - I'm a food-aholic especially when it comes to crisps.

'The electricity industry is gender-divided'.

I think that people are more genderphobic than homophobic. They don't like it when people refuse to fit into a prescribed gender mould.

Misty through the smoke of thousands of wood fires this is a horrorscape, perhaps the nearest hell has got to Eart

It's a complex matter. One wag referred to it last week as the disinformation super hype-way'.

Anderson's writing is also marked by a vibrancy which has brought the critics out in hyperlatives.

Still in quaint marketing speak, Mr Cox seeks to incentivate' existing vegetarians to make at least one new convert each year

the Net provides a forum for every conceivable human proclivity. But anarchies are always guided by rules and Shea's 160-page book provides plenty of handy pointers which even the veteran internaut would do well to ponder

Maybe it's because he has plumbed the depths of dependency so thoroughly himself, and has only recently escaped the thrall of junkiedom, that he is so perceptive about the way creativity is mediated through addictive behaviour

Besides the virgins (rich individuals looking to make their first investments), latents (those who have not invested in the past three years and entrepreneurs (those who back many businesses both for fun and in preference to the stock market), there are 'wealth-maximising' angels (rich people who invest in several businesses for financial gain), and income-seeking' angels (less affluent people who invest to generate income or a job for themselves).

A company spokesman says: 'We don't want anything that's avant-garde in that location, because it would detract from the lettability of our scheme

Linguisticists have argued that human language has a 'deep structure' common to all, with a superstructure of syntactical variants in different cultures

There he is on the cover of Honey smirkingly receiving the ruby-red lipular attentions of some long-lashed model girl

Broadly, it recommends approval for research using foetal, cadaver and live-donor ovarian tissue but only approval for treatment when the informed consent of a live adult donor has been given

he took up the cause for instance, of the Archigram team, in London, whose marvellously creative ideas for new living-forms set off an important design movement based on expendable, changing, buildings with 'self-moving, plug-in' components

The ears wiggled, willing him on, the lips moved, but nothing came out: he is afflicted not just by lockjaw but lockbody - a crippling formality that finds spontaneity about as welcome as a sudden bowel movement.

Why do old people keep wanting to tell you their age? I call them old age mentioners.

The interesting thing about Ms Cooper's mercy-fax was not that she had the nerve to give it a go. No, the key was that she was trying to inject some Fantasy Justice into the British legal system.

mouse-milking' (the pursuit of a project requiring much time and money but yielding little profit

The symbol of the cross was partly obscured by a riotous collage of dudes with shades and shotguns, chests adorned with the heavy chain insignia that to the movie-literate spells drug dealer,

Japanese no-how: Japan's traditional drama is in crisis

This stage of black-suited non-men, with their little round heads and highlighted quiffs and

Forms of unbelief omitted include scepticism, rationalism, secularism, ethicism naturalism, nihilism and 'nothingarianism

he comes reeling back from gruelling sessions of psychic surgery, healing rocks, radical nutritionism and other New Age comforts

Yours obsidianly Kim I had used the word 'obsidian' to describe a certain toughness of character by which Kim had preserved his belief in Communism when practically everyone else had abandoned it)

Every part of the food heats up at the same rate, so ohmically sterilised food is not overcooked

The more successful they were, the more convinced by the Zeitgeist, the more completely they embraced the myth of their omni-competence.

Joanna Foster, chairwoman of the UK Council for the International Year of the Family, on Britain's opt-out of EU paternity-leave provisions

Lea Anderson introduced a head shot of a Japanese woman screaming, several Japanese men being expressionist in a dockyard, three pixillationist commercials for a New York hotel and herself as Joan of Arc.

a huge white maze for humanoid rats, or rattoid humans

priest and teacher Brendan Devlin urged people not to abandon what had made them, 'but to reunderstand it in such a way that it does not blot someone else out

but what makes this travelling festival different from the stale rocksploitation of the wannabe Woodstock festivals is the Electric Carnival.

Several of the visitors admit to a bit of 'scritching'. Crying, that is.

at least this was the prelude to more ambitious Romanian sortees

(he the hard- drinking student-phobic City fan, she the indomitable slapper)

Business is better all round and the seeds of superdom have been sown in several clubs.

There were fewer calls for a return to basics or to traditional teachering methods

Germany has been in the throes of a severe bout of techno-angst, worrying it is falling behind in the race for the innovations that will dominate the 21st century

A self-styled techno-geek, Dan O'Brien, tells the story of how he tried to win the love of Alison Bunney via computer and modem

The trials of techno-heritage

Almost overnight, Fraser Clark became the lord of the new technoshamanarchy

The closest teendom gets to being cool these days is in Wayne's World

Running simultaneously with the Atherton incident on our screens was the footage, or should it be teethage, of Johan Le Roux biting the ear of the All Blacks captain Sean Fitzpatrick

It's like a noisy encounter with Dickens's Mr Jingle, who communicated in similar telegramese ('Crown at Muggleton - met a party - flannel jackets - white trousers - anchovy sandwiches - devilled kidneys - splendid fellows - glorious

Many business wrongs are examples of what Dr Sternberg describes as 'teleopathy Telos' is the Greek word for end, or purpose.) Choosing the wrong end misunderstanding the end in question and pursuing the right end in the wrong way are all examples

She reverses all pronouns and interpretations, so that penis envy becomes womb envy and the invented term testyria replaces hysteria.

Step by step, the unthinkable has been massaged into thinkability,

In the case of Newbury, the town now suffers from the environmental nightmare of a 'thru-pass', taking a major European route straight through an old and much-loved market

The latest Raag collection includes tie-die silk scarves

toughism 2
TOUGHISM, it is pleasing to see, is fast becoming the political creed of the Nineties.

Nor is David a drag queen. 'This is more creative. I'm inventing a whole new being. If anything I'm a transbeastite.'

When we got to the crowns there was a moving walkway, so we couldn't stop and stare; we were being 'travellated' along and had no choice about pacing ourselves

Mr Winterflood is something of a trend-bucker. This is a man who wore brown shoes on his first day at work on the Stock Exchange

In fact he demonstrated their unfalsifiability, showing them unscientific and therefore useless for application to the real world.

By using popular acts such as Zimbabwean band The Bhundu Boys, the 'image problem' of bandstands' perceived unhipness was, by and large, overcome.

Maybe I am an unweddingy person, but I have never, in previous years, heard of anyone asking newly-engaged couples what the colour of their marquee will be.

Also, the data available to the prospective upgrader is often insufficient to warn of possible incompatibilities

Medway, 'try to convince one that Jesus Christ was some sort of a dishevelled Jewish social worker yobbo of the uppety persuasion with a poor O-level in woodwork

Families were departing for the suburbs to veg-out in front of the all-powerful box.

The campaign, backed by the Vegetarian Society and the Vegan Society, will include a six-month 'vegevangelical' roadshow to 50 towns and cities to promote The Realeat Encyclopaedia of Vegetarian Living,

If lesbians have until now avoided the limelight of media vogueishness, it is because male editors and journalists don't know what to make of them

A new voicemail service, Parrot, has been launched for students and those in shared accommodation to get messages from any telephone.

IN LABOUR heartlands and floating voterlands alike, Labour's grassroots are fed up.

So come on clubbers of the world, unite and take over. Boycott these shallow bastions of waifdom, and maybe promoters will learn that their customers deserve a little respect

Never has Mr and Miss Serious Rock Music Lover been more willing to listen to country, now ultra-positive that the genre isn't all squelchy Jim Reeves hummings, twanging yeehah cliches and weepalong female mewings.

This is all a very long way from the days when werewolfism was shown as an illness

Technical whizzbangery and promotions, however, do not sell products especially in a recession.

Nich olson gets an earful of wolf-lore from a quack, who tells him that the werewolf reflects the character of the man it inhabits.

the only female presence here will generally be manning (or womaning) the pumps

And they don't come more spectacular than this: the pop worlds of yesterday and yesterdecade conflated in Essex

but they are usually poor stars, often with limited job prospects after a younglifetime spent treading the greensward.

The subject of zippydom causes DiMartino to talk of 'synchronised miracles all architected by a higher intelligence'
Neologisms: October-December 1994
in a consumerist world, heterosexual men had no future. So they were replaced by the metrosexual. Metrosexual man, the single young man with a high disposable income, living or working in the city. Metrosexual man is a commodity fetishist, a collector of fantasies about the male sold to him by advertising. Metrosexual man might prefer women, he might prefer men but nothing comes between him and his reflection.

Then his telefonino rang, or rather squeaked piercingly. It is almost impossible to get away from the wretched telefonino wherever you are in Italy. Of all the countries in Europe, only Britain has more mobile telephones

blacks have got magics and most white people don't believe it. I know it from my mother. It is called mafunfunyana.

Inside the world of the phreaker: Using a screen and a phone, they break into computer systems across the world. The phreaker is an anarchic brand of computer hacker. He is very good with computers, but principally obsessed with exploiting telephone networks The phreaker is a very sociable hacker, and spends a lot of time talking to other people through electronic messages

In addition, more competitors have entered the narrow market for monospace vehicles

his non-recoupable benefits were replaced by benefits recoupable because they were paid in consequence of the accident

Wildworld, holds toad-racing twice a day. There are even moves to give the sport a more formal footing.

Secretary of State for Social Security, said that the planned allowance should 'help the jobseeker and motivate the job-shy'

The promotion of metrosexuality was left to the men's style press, magazines such as The Face, GQ, Esquire, Arena and FHM,

And the national disease is no longer absenteeism but - to borrow, with regret, a recently coined phrase - 'presenteeism' they're suffering from presenteeism - people who remain after a redundancy, who an organisation feels should be really jo lly that they've retained their job, but who, first, are overworked, becausethere are fewer people, and second, are job-insecure.

In California, the Pacific Bell telephone company says it already has a million v-mail users;

It will mark the definitive break with the post- war notion of consociativismo, under which government and opposition often submerged their differences to serve the collective interests of the political class.

The culture-happy class buys the latest and smartest book, painting - or personality, for they are often patrons.

'Because of the fear-factor women just won't use them. their erstwhile supporters are no longer afraid of Labour. This fear-factor has played a significant part in keeping the Tories in power

Non-League groundhoppers are - by and large - as fine a group of men as ever consulted a railway timetable

The school's Richard D'Aveni coined the term 'hypercompetition', saying today's outrageous pace of change calls for upside-down business approaches Chivalry is dead,' he writes in Hypercompetition: Managing the Dynamics of Strategic Manoeuvring.

The scatter-gun approach of sending messages to large numbers of newsgroups is known as 'spamming', and is considered one of the most serious breaches of netiquette

The word 'lid' should be used only metaphorically in the new expression we are trying to popularise, 'best-by-end-see-lid When someone in the Government is approaching his sack-by date, we tend to say: 'He's getting a bit best-by-end-see-lid I see.

Clare Valley, pounds 5.75, a strapping Australian red whose delicious blackberryness melts in the mouth

Chipotle. Dried and smoked form of the Jalapeo. Smoky, nutty, most adaptable of all dried chillies

For the Christmas tree is but the most prominent aspect of our dendromania,

But, as the U-turn on Post Office privatisation showed, the do-littlers have won.

The 'edge-city' phenomenon, nurtured in the United States, has already reached Britain. Town centres merge into suburbs that merge into edge-city strips of shopping malls, business parks, retail warehouses and executive cul- de-sacs.

The Paisley expression for 'cool, good' is 'really gadgey'.

It looks as if Intel's position in the personal computer market is safe until the turn of the century, when 'gigachip' technologies reach the market.

That the loving father is one of the drag queens is rather adventurous, but the fact remains that homo-desire in this film is sublimated into outrageous frocks and an ache for acceptance by heterosexuals

The market's solvency is being undermined by the difficulty it is having persuading loss-hit names to cough up.

the penny dropped and I realised he really meant a maniser, as in the female version of a womaniser.

In the process, many more town pubs could be turned into restaurants or leisure centres, while their rural counterparts face the threat ofa new breed of mega-pub Solicitors acting for seven landlords objecting to a new Whitbread Beefeater mega-pub near Chipping Sodbury waved an article

ANYONE wanting to avoid getting trapped in a rape-conducive environment would do well to read Henry Beard and Christopher Cerf's Sex and Dating

The re-mythologisation of Christmas (a part of the wider process of re-mythologising Christianity itself) involves what one of its American proponents has described as a 'recalibration of perceptions'.

They were replacing them with barcodes from computers which had been already stolen. They were recloning them semi-contact 2 Kick-boxing is a semi-contact sport; points are scored for accuracy rather than damage inflicted.

Courtney Walsh led a substantially under-strength team - lacking Richie Richardson Desmond Haynes, Winston Benjamin and Curtly Ambrose - to a series-saving victory over India.

All it needs is for his shin-padded legs to be smeared liberally with Haagen-Dazs ice cream

He brought the show-boating side of Louis Armstrong to the music

What hero would brave the fire for a Brunnhilde in a skeleton-print body-stocking and a gym skirt? Not me.

Television networks in the feature local legends of the game, together with basketball street slang, trash talking being as much a prized among basketball 'skillz' as a good jump shot

Ingemar Stenmark might have been a better slalomer, but he did not have Girardelli's range

This is just part of the reason why it is tempting to call it the information super-hypeway Could we be on the super-hypeway to nowhere?: Will the information revolution really change our lives?

the World Wide Fund for Nature (WWF) are now attacking the roots of the problem, putting pressure on tiger-consuming countries to eliminate the trade within their borders.

I have yet to find a better area in London for the committed tyre-kicker

The last few months have shown not how ready the Italians are for a benevolent and videocratic dictatorship,

One of the more useful tricks of GIS is 'viewshed analysis', which is the precise measurement of the visibility of ancient monuments in the landscape

when you say thank you to an American waitperson, they say, 'You're welcome'.

There is close co-operation, too, in the area of 'waterspace management'

His 'whip-lust' was, it seems, reciprocated by his long-suffering wife.

the concept of 'xerocracy' - which means that anybody who can be bothered to pick a time and have the fliers Xeroxed is in charge. Xerocracy is a wonderful concept: political will reduced to whoever fancies doing the photocopying.

till, the bit in the ad where the guitars go ker-smash and the Puritan girl behind the tree stands a-goggle at the slow Excaliburisation of a male torso from silken water is a shining moment in the history of rock's interface with commerce .

Keep a city a-hipping and a-hopping all night long, and - goodness, says Nanny - everyone will be sozzled by morning.

see a-hipping

Bassey chassis sashayed along the lip of the stage, timpani sound-tracking her hip roll, the tassels on her dress a-rippling with suggestive tease.

Calendar girl Christy Turlington (images of whom are also available at Fashion Exposures missed the spring/summer 1995 fashion season in Milan, London, Paris and New York - setting tongues a-wagging.

Nicolas Bazire, head of Mr Balladur's office, described the reports as 'abracadabrant', literally 'abracadabra-ing'.

Looking for the word that means chopping one word in two and inserting another in the middle, as in abso-bloody-lutely, I had no joy with cut* AND word,

Manet's cropped and often almost accidental-seeming habits of composition

Rod Stewart is probably the dinosaur who profits most from acousticisation, while REM's 'Half a World Away' is replete with grace and emotion.

There is a similarity here to the hard adaptationist school in Darwinian theory, which recoils from the idea that sometimes things just happen,

Dennis Skinner, Labour MP for Bolsover, said there were 550 directorships consultancies and advisorships, mainly held by Tory MPs.

He buys some from corner shops on his patient round, others from countries he visits as an aero-medic to accompany home sick or injured British holidaymakers As

The affair was discussed at a committee meeting in Cardiff on Thursday, but when only three of 17 agendaed items had been completed in nearly seven hours members gave up

Nigerian tank deal raises questions on aid-for-trade

Tailor Made Travel also offers a seven-day air-cruise around Australia

'reserve beyond capacity', airline-speak for selling seats they do not have

RJ Pickles suggests a per capita charge on cubic metres of air consumption Tiny airometers could be inserted into the trachea soon after birth

Something that would save me from the hours of agonising aisle-browsing it now takes to buy a moisture cream,

she has no choice about whether she is personally challenged: 'I am, all the time, by having children who refuse to stop challenging; by relationships across colour; by the feeling of alien-ness

The new generation of aluminium-intensive vehicles recently announced by Alcan and Ford is an important breakthrough

For sheer political amazingness nothing beats what happened on 8 November

'Coyote Dance' and 'Akua Tuta' cleave more to the Gabriel / Lanois ambient-ethnic aesthetic

He sat down behind a desk, fiddling with a pencil, staring at the assembled audience of writers, photographers and his ampled-shouldered security entourage,

The point is that without order and stability, sustained development was not possible In anarcho-capitalist states, these conditions do not yet hold and are having to be created.

Likewise, anarcho-individualists and anarcho-capitalists are generally contemptuous of demonstrations and acts of public diso

Francois Hadji-Lazaro, the shaven-headed anarcho-traditionalist leader of the group Pigalle.

They see the logic in South Africa's argument, but worry about the impact on the animal-vote, back home, if they are seen to support it.

The blurb came accompanied by a picture of Lord Mackay of Clashfern, anoraking away at his lap-top accessing some of the information available to those prepared to part with 500 pounds for the disk

in the television series the rather anoraky League is merely a pretext for making a net-load of jokes about football

'Aromatology is what they are concerned about. It is a whole new branch of chemistry, a new science if you like. Essential oils have been shown to have a wide range of effects:

the Sunday Sport duly informed its art-hungry readers of four luscious lovelies who get their kit off.

white labels over arty black and white stills of red cabbage, coffee beans puddle pools, deserts, sea shells and other arty-glutton metaphors

the system is that owners can control who enters it. What happens out there has nothing to do with respectable, automobile-abiding citizens

But you can have one without the other and if, like me, you view your evenings more as avant-lit rather than apres-ski, there is a lot to be said for St Christoph.

trombone diva Annie Whitehead fronts up an avant-rub-a-dub session with her estimable trailmates

The boys who hand out the skis swear unimaginatively at each other and slowly strut about in their baggier-than-thou trousers.

This wide boy boasts that John and Yoko Lennon are about to arrive in a bag, this being the peak philosophical moment of baggism

Moreover, the banner-unfurlers are only one side of a pincer movement, the other being the people,

Richard Dawkins has written a hymn to the barely-plumbed wonders of DNA

Roy found time to talk to me about what he calls low battery-consciousness. 'People find it very diffficult to talk about batteries,' said Roy.

There's a still star-struck Bono for one, waxing beat-poetish over his brush with Frank Sinatra.

the Murphys Noel and Gerry, may not be bitter about the unspoken Welsh perception of their team's beatability but in any event, apart from Jenkins's 24 points and the Davies try, they did not see a great deal

Mr Ghazali was accused of planning to assassinate Mr Bush with a belt-bomb strapped to his waist

it must show two uncompromising fingers to the glib cynicism of post-Modernism, a bimboid handmaiden of sensational news coverage if ever there was one

I think I can't afford not to buy them. So I have binge-shopping sprees.

The Crazies is a fairly chilling 1973 bio-scare picture with a Pennsylvania town hit by a plague.

biorecords 2
His 'biorecords' related individual characters to their stratigraphic context showing how much critical information is lost when only species descriptions are employed

Blairites 5
He may need only a few Blairites: after all Mrs Thatcher got by with precious few Thatcherites.

Something for everyone then, unless you're a bleeding-eared Napalm Death fanatic with no friends

'I remember listening with him to a certain Northern balladeer warbling anthems of a quite ferocious blood-thirstiness.

The agent of his removal however, was not a blunderbuss-wielding relic of the Raj, but the television company

All have high cheekbones, bobby-blonde hair, teeth that betray years of adolescent misery,

a jolly woman in a nurse's outfit arrived with a frogman in body-condom sprouting alarming pipes and breathing apparatus

To sleep, perchance to be body-snatched

He concentrates on the extremes, the comtsotsis of the townships and the ragged boer-in-a-bakkie (truck) of the white right.

Fancy a boink?: Making the first move in person can be difficult, so people are turning to their computers.

Some show the full array of ludicrous bombas - crowns, windmills, globes, turrets, palms, even a jaunty snowman with his hands in his pockets.

Then he contacted his son, who, unbeknown to him, had become a born-against Christian.

We were all subject to the Uniform Code of Military Justice, but it never occurred to me to be boss-conscious

The list of bouncer-related assaults on the night-club-going public has reached legendary proportions: everyone claims either to have been, or seen someone else roughed

Having experienced the bountificence of Czech hospitality (in various permutations of pork and carp), I felt duty-bound to oblige

You like the sound of boxercise - duffing up an electronic punchbag.

brain-gain 2
Within the last two years, this postgraduate medical school has attracted substantially more world-class scientists from as far afield as Australia and the United States than we have lost: brain-gain, rather than brain-drain

At this vulnerable time, babies need stimulation through contact, stroking, sound and breath-exchange - all of which helps them to keep themselves alive.

Also there's a feature on Berlin as the music capital of Europe: you know, Bowie, Cabaret Kurt Weill, Pink Floyd's bricktastic The Wall concert.

The biographer is a burglar rifling through drawers, driven by voyeurism and busybodyism, and seeking stolen goods.

As she has button-phobia, I am praying, as is her mum, that they burst forth like a self-inflatable pair of dinghies to avoid the 'button' stage

Those clean, well-lit, air-conditioned, classless temples to consumption those bypass-born, folksy-brick structures with hi-tech innards, those odourless grocers, except when the bakery wafts its programmed smells through them:

Lesley, 31, is a self-confessed 'candleholic' who regularly frequents church suppliers

Ms Spear, however, is unconvinced that candlemania is a Nineties phenomenon

Euston Road, London, is having an open day tomorrow, with simultaneous display, talks, and Christmas chesstivities

Here he shows the same ability to condense and cinematicise a complex narrative

we end up spending two hours in concentrated cinephiliac chat

The buzz word of the moment is clanning (try it on for size c-l-a-n-n-i-n-g). It means upscale urban types will be banding together in protected estates and being very New Agey while the proles on the other side of the high security gaze on enviously

It begins with his gritty documentation of clansmanship and tribal warfare among East End skinheads

(nothing would persuade me to take off my thigh-length jumper and reveal the cling-factor around belly and hips

the object of the exercise is to get clone-close to the author-approved performance

the walls of the London Underground with the message 'The Ultimate Gift of Christmas Peace', and it has spawned a clone-competitor from a rival record company with the same name and more or less the same cover design,

He was a Londoner, a Fulhamite in fact, who remembers spending 'a wonderfully free childhood', all coats-down in the local park and dreams of being Johnny Hayne

They go on to suggest, among other things, a Medusa wig for fancy dress parties, connected to a hose as a lawn-sprinkler, and the octopus-on-a-stick as a ceiling de- cobwebber cum chandelier bulb replacer

the brutal, codpieced Clockwork Orange-style gangs who strut their stuff in a gym that looks like a bleak concrete underpass

In this risk-averse, comfort-addicted age, when too many people's sole idea of fun is watching television, only alleviated by a little jogging, we need

Faust is certainly confrontational, and the antithesis of the comfort-zone approach

the monsters of sitcom have made a mockery of the nice guys of comfy-sofacom

All the same, it's hard to resist seeing in that image of a resurrected Aaron a complacency-jolting symbol of the fact that while evil may go into abeyance it can never be eradicated.

UN diplomats are scrawny fellows, scrawny in a paunchy fashion, also whey-faced no matter how darkly complected.

the sort of elementary factor that the Brookings comprehensivists consistently overlooked.

The Old Crown is a beautifully decorated old pub, handy for the British Museum and all the computery shops on the Tottenham Court Road

This defence of the indefensible indicates that tonight Neath will give as good as they get; hence the conflagrationary potential

They shout, gurgle and gobble in a largely consonantless-free stream of noisy and incomprehensible diphthongs,

Between the Lines from the classiest, sharpest, most convincing police drama ever produced in this country into a conspiracy-a-thon, a 10-week parade of silly, contorted plots

Beckett, first through the control-freakdom of his stage directions and now through the watchdogs of his estate, endeavoured to opt out of this process,

Etchers are convenienced by the fact that printing re-reverses the image

Cameos from Peter Fonda and Jack Eraserhead Nance, meanwhile, are just attempts to score highly on the cool-o-meter.

And don't forget the wit or the hooks. Copycats? No, copylions

the idea is that by the time technology has advanced enough to defrost the frozen body (or 'corpsicle' to borrow a term from the science-fiction writer Larry Niven),

Of that, pounds 1.6 bn came from counter-evasion and avoidance, and the rest from 'technical review work'.

Adam Faith doesn't try to turn the song into something that it's not, but still his country-flavoured version is a template of disaster Midnight Postcards

John Patrick, head of IBM's internet services, says the cyberbrothel is the latest in a rising tide of sex-related sites on the Net.

flying down a rope from the top of Blackpool Tower, wing- walking from London to Paris, paragliding under nine London bridges The daredevilishness he shared with John Noakes was combined with an all round talent in the old-fashioned showbiz disciplines

A government presided over by the owner of a huge business group, which is under legal investigation, wanted to incriminate the judges examining the group's affairs. It tried to de-legitimise them before they could conclude their investigations.

Hence Muslim women's motivation for wearing the hejab - to feel connected to their religious roots, to de-sex themselves in order to be taken seriously to avoid being molested - is being thwarted

The former Tottenham player is a defender-cum-midfielder.

According to Mr Jerome, dento-phobia is caused by the patient's dread of losing control in hostile surroundings.

When soul went priapic Sledge's career as a tearful balladeer detumesced

One practical step might be the resumption of shop deliveries, as in America, and provision of dial-a-bus systems for old age pensioners to cover visits to doctors, hospitals and the collection of prescriptions.

the game Moon's sympathy will be music to the ears of Kitch Christie, the Springbok coach, whose digruntlement at the turn of the post-match questions and answers was evident.

It is an effective disinhibitor made with a double shot of vodka, limes, sugar and honey.

Everywhere art is being made easy, too easy, easy-pleasy

The mode is autobiography cum novel cum courtroom drama cum ecogladiatorial contest cum catharsis.

Journalists, who are on the receiving end of a ton of econotosh a day, will be surprised to learn that 'there's still a dearth of really topflight professional economists in the City'.

The eroticisation of purity has always been part of the Western cultural tradition;

Dual-career family dads, according to the Loyola study, put in four per cent less 'face-time' per week, and are perceived as less dedicated to the job, suspected of divided loyalties feel-goodism 1 described Mutant Message Down Under as 'a book about spiritless, white middle-class mid-life-crisis feel-goodism. It belongs to a cynical tradition in Western publishing that profits from a readership that thirsts for books offering a balm to millennial fears'

I sound like some old Calvinist preacher, don't I?' Which is an improvement on sounding like Viz's Geordie fightoholic, Biffa Bacon.

The best, if you can get it, is filamented white paper (the sheeny, glossy kind).

a Chinese or Mongolian firepot where each ingredient is cooked in boiling broth in the centre of the table and is then dipped in a sauce just before eating

Nissan regards the 200 SX as more of a refined grand tourer than a hard-charging, firm-riding sports car.

What The Ruin of Kasch is really about is anyone's guess; it reflects an Italian taste for showy intellectual fizz-bang.

Those clean, well-lit, air-conditioned, classless temples to consumption those bypass-born, folksy-brick structures with hi-tech innards, those odourless grocers,

The fondant-pale layers of chiffon and tulle dazzled the eye,

Today, however, he is complaining of a food-over. 'It is like a hangover but worse.'

they offered us Derek Pringle sheep-shearing and acres of spectators' flesh both female (mainly undraped, thin and silent) and male (football-shirted, fat and chanting).

If you are not sure of the recipient's favourite whisky, a footful of miniatures can offer a style for every toe.

none but the freshest-minted coins would do

I make it up in big batches for my lunch during the week and to satisfy post-school fridge-cruising.

At the start McDermott's ganglingly impulsive, shock-haired Dougie, already dead and hazy about the circumstances of his demise like someone slowly coming round

I think it might have been even better with gay actors, but that's a very gayist point of view, isn't it

The Oxford University Press's new 'gender-inclusive' Bible, designed to be inoffensive enough to appeal even to the Americans - that most shy and sensitive of nations - has managed to offend everyone else. The sticking point has been its references to 'Father-Mother' God,

Giant Steps, full of homespun stoicism, dollops of New Ageism, and lashings of good old-fashioned get-up-and-goery

Spurs had gone ahead through Teddy Sheringham, who provided some relief for Ardiles by overcoming his goal-shyness.

Books can get a bit serious so throw in 'Griff' and his convivial goonery to jolly it up.

This book conforms to all my guidelines: it purports to celebrate 'guyhood with chapters entitled 'Women Are People, Too' and 'Men's Zones', and is packed with observations about sex, tools, wives, and - his favourite theme the male organ,

White devoted to honing his skills as a wonderful raconteur and gustateur.

this is a biopic (verging on hagiopic) of the rodeo star Lane Frost

Apparently, next Saturday night the National Federation of Spiritual Healers is doing a 'healathon Anybody, anywhere, who wishes to benefit from this can do so by relaxing quietly for five minutes . . .

Even a world divided into theoretically homogeneous ethnic territories by genocide, mass expulsion and 'ethnic cleansing' was inevitably heterogenised again by mass movements of people and styles and by the tentacles of the global economy

Perhaps it's hindsight, or hindhearing, but the tune sounds as if it were dictated by the words in more than the literal sense.

Impossible to omit would be a death, hintedly from Aids that makes Ali McGraw's genteel passing in Love Story seem like a video nasty

New Historicism - a movement that radically historicises literature, placing it within a political, social and economic context

FFM points out that Fulci's Don't Look Now homage-cum-rip-off, The Psychic brought him to a wide audience

Britain's future lies in the centre of Europe have to argue our case now. The inevitabilist case for European integration is in tatters

Dr Leary - who has now embraced the Internet global computer network as a platform for his views - said: 'I have waited all my life for this moment. This is not just an invasion it's an inter-vasion I dedicate this event to Marshall McLuhan (the Sixties media guru) - the world is now truly a global village,' he said.

Or is it simply that after living for a dozen years with a government that invites scorn by the juggernautful, and seems totally unaffected by it, we no longer believe in the efficacy of scorn

But having electrified the laptop-battering classes, and perhaps the nation too, Tony Blair has to expand and nourish this optimism in the years before the election comes.

takes us on a guided tour of his mind in a series of lecturettes and info-packs, lamenting the crassness of modern times.

In 40 years of autumnal viewing, I can recall no single newsreader, current affairs presenter, weather-forecaster or linkperson who did not, right on cue, don a poppy.

'For lipoplasty, known also as body-contouring, dial 423' said a genteel voice from the clinic's answering machine,

People who are otherwise law-abiding educated and paid-up members of society will be quite prepared to ignore the democratic process, to defy the representatives of law and order, in order to save some blighted specimen from being lumberjacked.

Ralph Lauren's magazine-in-utero remains 'in development'

his poetry reveals a range of learning that takes in classical scholarship and insights magpied on his walking tours

she's as much of a Bill-and-Ted-head as any American mall-rat. Apparently she hates Santa Claus, but loves Father Christmas.

the Tory conference suddenly revealed two new suits for John Major, quite opposed to his past reputation for mid-grey-nothing-in-particularness.

midibus 2
Services have been revised through a series of area planning reviews (on a far more systematic basis than the trial-and-error method found elsewhere) extensive market research, and higherfrequency midibus services

He could learn lines overnight; even when he forgot them, he spoke naturally in movie-ese.

Here you have Rolls-Royces dropping off multi-squillionaires at the Waldorf, across the road from people in cardboard boxes

It was the culmination of 12 months of commercialisation and quangoisation.

JOHN MAJOR faced further embarrassment over his promised onslaught on sleaze yesterday as Labour MPs staged a walk-out from the 'questions-for-cash inquiry

I arrived in Boston on a Sunday night at a hotel in a part of town not much restauranted.

We shouldn't have had the lottery because it is one more step in the trashification of Britain

But as two-tierism - with its contracts that resulted in doctors treating less urgent cases ahead of more urgent ones,

She was accompanied by a friend who also liked winterscape woollies

The puzzle is why large differences in actual hours worked have failed to quell American workaholicism and a German love of leisure
Neologisms: 1997
- superdupermodel
There are exceptions to this rule : superdupermodel Linda Evangelista married the Paris boss of Models One, Gerald Marie, early on in her career.

- alphabetism
The problem in my own case is not sexism, but alphabetism. My partner can vote in the proposed Halifax conversion, but I cannot. My surname begins with G and hers with C. Only the first-named person in a joint mortgage is entitled to vote and to participate in any subsequent shares handout.

- buddiness
The show is remembered for many things : for Glaser's chunky cardigans, for Huggy Bear, for the first flowerings of buddiness, and for the 'Tomato', as Soul calls the car they drove around in.

- nunchakas
As ecstatic mass bouncing up and down threatens to collapse the Astoria floor on to the Tube line below there is little else for it but to echo the words of 'Unfair', the band's alternative Californian state anthem : Wave your credit card in the air swing your nunchakas like you just don't care

- beliiieeeve
While sad oldsters attempt to 'get with it' on popular culture by saying Aiih don't beliiieeeve it

- wet-T-shirted
It has even crossed to the classical world with the much promoted wet-T-shirted violinist Vanessa-Mae

- prepone
An executive might instruct his travel agent to'kindly do the needful and prepone the departure to facilitate my journey out of station and avoid a nighthalt', when he merely wants the time of his trip moved forward

- ego-tourism
When I meet Galdessa's impossibly good-looking owner, Pierre Morgue D'Algue, and examine its list of monied and celebrity visitors, the phrase ego-tourism comes temptingly to mind, but let that pass

- entoned
The violinist abandoned her instrument in favour of a whip, with which she proceeded to energetically flail the floor, while the wind player entoned the words of an impenetrable text, and two percussionists beat out a primitive rhythm reminiscent of the Velvet Underground's' Venus in Furs

- tri-linguist
As a tri-linguist, she is alert to the differences of meaning that a change of language brings to the material.

- defamers
He added : My victimisation both at the hands of the police and my defamers in the media dates from when Scotland Yard quite unjustifiably caused my name to be blazoned across the headlines But growing concerns about the safety of the conviction brought a Scotland Yard inquiry headed by Detective Superintendent Roger Matthews.

- pop-picker-turned-prop-picker
Powell, the pop-picker- turned-prop-picker, is an enthusiast and an enthuser : he leaps around the room and slaps his hand on the table making optimistic predictions about the future of the sport in which he has recently become interested

- urbanwear
Puma, in the meantime, have recruited Vexed Generation and their knife proof urbanwear styling to help with a new range of shoes to take on Nike

- self-flagellatory
When Connolly makes his third or fourth implicitly self-flagellatory reference to what an overpaid scum-sucking Hollywood sell-out he is, the audience smile indulgently, as if to say : We know you are extravagantly rich Billy, and you deserve to be, so get over it

- nippleage
True, the final Galliano Givenchy collection featured greater nippleage than Scandinavian movies like Inge I Have Lust or, indeed, than a TV classic adaptation.

- minibussing
This walk, which was pieced together with stretches of minibussing, is their baby.

- rockisation
There are many more middle-class people than there were. So I prefer to call it the 'rockisation' of football. Like the rock industry, there are high-profile shortlife players and lots of people making money in the background.

- cosmopolitanising
Less dispassionately, Eisenman argues that'from the Palestinian point of view, Paul was a cosmopolitanising traitor'.

- motorscape
But there is, of course, another zone of the motorscape, inhabited by cars of prestigious aura and German identity.

- unMonty-like
At his next par-five, the second, a most unMonty-like drive put him deep in the trees on the right.

- doppelgangering
The genetic doppelgangering of Dolly was carried out within kicking distance of Murrayfield which just happened to coincide with the appointment of Andy Irvine and Ian McLauchlan to the new executive board of the SRU.

- globally-warmed
We have, of course plenty to worry about : we might release a super-bug which might flourish in the globally-warmed fields of a Sussex countryside rendered uninhabitable by an explosion in a French nuclear power station.

- stoodies
There are a few 'stoodies' coming down from Manchester for the match and I'm pleased they're making the trip.

- uberbowler
Given that it can also cut and spin the ball at will, too Merlin is clearly something of an uberbowler

- waitlist
Most airlines will 'priority waitlist' you, which means that as soon as a seat becomes available, you get it.

- mistreater
The picture was of a compulsive skinflint, womaniser, ligger supreme and all-purpose sponger. Worse, a mistreater of horses, and a ruthless jockey on the track and away from it.

- albumfuls
By the late Sixties, what had started as a few scraps became a Collection with a capital C. I'd assembled about three or four albumfuls, which I thought was probably enough to make a nice little anthology.

- Canadian-ness
The Canadian-ness of it clicks when you think of Celine Dion, another Quebec export in a similar vein.

- hyperaccumulators
The underlying theory is nothing new - scientists have known for some time about' hyperaccumulators' plants such as the cabbage family, that can absorb high levels of pollutants ), but so far these have had limited practical applications.

- jobbys
I put the steamer together that evening - one of those dirt cheap Chinese jobbys, two layers and made of cheap aluminium ; every home should have one

- nookiness
At its worst, the Arts and Crafts movement degenerated into a kind of dirndl folksiness, a Surrey nookiness far removed from the honesty and restraint of the founding fathers.

- galaxy-famous
I said I thought George Lucas might not be too impressed to have that galaxy-famous title pinched.

- dope-befuddled
What greater fun can there be than to tell your elders to get lost, hold dope-befuddled parties that last for days, organise student-run classes on such illuminating topics as Red Brigades terrorism and the redundancy of parents and watch videos of 2001 : A Space Odyssey into the early hours

- roadcrossing
The two are due to renew rivalry on Saturday but the Ascot race was run at a farcical early pace, and Princeful stumbled and lost momentum on a roadcrossing before the home straight.

- peepful
Bespectacled Kate spanned some 18 peepful years before being yanked back from retirement for further snoopings.

- snore-a-thon
First you are expected to wade through the snore-a-thon known as the Los Angeles Times every morning - not that what qualifies as journalism here is likely to keep anyone informed, so you have to read the New York Times as well

- videoesque
The documentary indulges Mattea's hopelessly sentimental view of Scotland (easily the most toe curling moments are the videoesque shots of MacLean lipsyncing to his songs on the Hebridean coastline), prompting a suspicion that this is mere musical tourism.

- balloonful
But in the end, we had to admit that a balloonful of Michael Jackson, Anthea Turner, Michael Winner and Teresa Gorman who would be as unfun a place to be as could be imagined.

- cod-African
Everything even the cod-African number'Kumbalawe' which out-Disneys The Lion King music for inauthenticity, is in a invented gibberish language, full of Scandinavian vowels, designed for universal appeal and rather creepy in its lack of context.

- out-Disneys
Everything even the cod-African number 'Kumbalawe' which out-Disneys The Lion King music for inauthenticity, is in a invented gibberish language, full of Scandinavian vowels, designed for universal appeal and rather creepy in its lack of context.

- cutesiest
Even in the cutesiest setting, the dark second act, in which the deranged inventor tries to bring his Galatea to life, can have something of power and pathos.

- parkscape
He will change the direction of his 90-minute yomp across the wintry parkscape to accommodate dogless walkers or joggers he encounters.

- glower-monger
Fundamentally, the white T-shirt became the easiest entry point into blue collar American style, a style which was used and subsequently abused by every aspiring Hollywood glower-monger: Paul Newman in Hud, Steve McQueen in The Sand Pebbles, Paul LeMat in American Graffiti, John Travolta in Grease, Richard Gere in anything, even the loathsome Don Johnson in Miami Vice pairing it with loose, Armani linen suits, sleeves often rolled way up to the elbows.

- sleazemeister
One Night Stand, his next movie (about a husband's infidelities) is scripted by none other than Jagged Edge sleazemeister, Joe Eszterhas.

- Nirvana-lite
Time and again here, the grey, leaden chording and torrential self-pity summon memories of Nirvana, though the songs themselves can muster only a fraction of their impact: it's Nirvana-lite, MTV-friendly and polite.

- demoing
She dropped her engineering major with two years to run, aged 19, to go to Nashville, where she leapt through the usual hoops of hardship, odd-jobs and demoing and ended up with a recording contract'five years to the day of the day I pulled into town', apparently about average.

- cyberbars
Spain has Europe's lowest take-up of the Internet, but many cities have flourishing 'cyberbars' where would-be netties can log on while enjoying the more familiar pleasures of sinking a beer or a generous Spanish measure of whisky.

- E-Stamp
Top of the pops, though, must be E-Stamp, which allows you to buy postage through the Internet and print bar-code-like electronic stamps directly on envelopes and labels.

- techno-philes
DERRICK MAY The MayDay Mix Ministry of Sound OPENCD005 For techno-philes and old-skool acid-house ravers, the name of Derrick May is spoken in hushed tones and usually accompanied by' we're not worthy bowing movements - a measure of the huge influence of this Detroit techno originator

- eco-chic
Everything is fashionably buff or white, and eco-chic too, with hemp-and-linen-blend duvet covers and unbleached linen bath towels as well as pineapple-fibre pillows.

- chuggers
Traditional rivalries persist between the 'tuggers' and the 'chuggers' those who prefer to tow and those who swear by motor caravans, the integrated models that until a few years ago had a rather louche image and were banned from respectable sites.

- lankly
Her hair is pulled up lankly into one of those Essex girl ponytails that make women look as though the back of their skulls are pointed, and she wears a Tammy Wynette T-shirt under the top half of a shell suit.

- frowsily
His meddling does yield one rich comic gain, when Hank's frowsily bespectacled wife Peggy forces her husband to tell Bobby how much he loves him.

- bullyable
I would be beaten continuously with slippers and even sticks. I'd be held down and beaten. At the time, I accepted that I was bullyable. I also accepted that I was the only person who was bullied.

- pattermane
On the other hand, as a self-confessed ' pattermane' and expert exponent of the rapid-delivery witticisms of Messrs Gilbert and Sullivan - Suart has devised a one-man show, As a Matter of Patter, built around the works of the great Savoyards - works he has performed the length and breadth of Britain and, in what he describes as an' ambassadorial' role, in such far-flung outposts of G&S - erie as Vancouver, Dusseldorf, even Penang

- abdomania
Despite their best efforts, their guts remain obstinately in place. This leaves them with the diminished sense of self familiar to women who grow up surrounded by countless images of female 'perfection'. It is conceivable that this could lead them to reject abdomania and turn to a more emotionally and physically sustaining form of diet and exercise.

- vice-headmaster
The vice-headmaster said I might not be able to pick up my prize because I wasn't smartly dressed.

- staresque
Stomping around the bars and performance venues of the Cheltenham Festival, the son of the establishment poet Michael Horovitz is outraged by his father's dismissive comments last week about the rock staresque performance poet Murray Lachlan Young.

- stagiaires
These 650 'stagiaires' are paid a small living allowance and are attached to one of the Directorates-General such as Economic and Financial Affairs, Education or Consumer Policy

- cyber-pet
At the end of the meeting she admitted that what she had in her bag was a Tamagotchi, a Japanese cyber-pet.

- truthworthy
A less truthworthy Kris Kristofferson is on the right track, but the neglected lovechild of Jeffrey Dahmer and Carole King would probably be nearer the destination.

- yoofy
The two sides to Scotland's music scene are worlds apart. One is post Trainspotting hip and yoofy enough for beer commercials, including bands like Arab Strap. The other belongs to the pop-orthodox droves of Texas, Wet Wet Wet and Del Amitri.

- raid-cum-photo-shoot
He orchestrates embarrassing situations involving public figures, then tips off Sgt Jack Vincennes (Kevin Spacey) who carries out the bust while Sid is popping flashbulbs and plucking lurid adjectives from his festering mind. They even collaborate on the composition of these salacious snaps, conniving together to decide how they might work the Hollywood sign into the background of a future raid-cum-photo-shoot

- mobile-phoning
We are a nation of mobile-phoning, supermarket-shopping, convenience food eaters, according to the latest snapshot of our spending habits.

- desked
There is no way back - the customer is desked and trussed like a turkey, all in the name of customer service

- spokes-stripper
'Our main concerns are that our working environment be safe, that we aren't verbally abused and sexually harassed by management,' a spokes-stripper said

- blastaways
Surprisingly, everyone forewent the opportunity to sample drinks such as blastaways, Snakey Bs and pints of white wine - drinks chosen purely for their lobotomising qualities

- unperturbability
At the end of the film the same girl I think discovered that the words 'oral sex' had a far more startling effect on her mother, whose pose of calm unperturbability crumbled briefly to a little moan of distress when it was uttered

- doc-soap
They are in a doc-soap rutting frenzy and as a result the screen is awash with the damn things.

- nuancey
You should just be saying 'That's nice': it shouldn't be so obvious that there are little miniature crescendi and diminuendi built into it. In the slow movement, I take fantastic pleasure in playing some of the tiny little nuancey details in 'no man's land dynamic' you are just there wafting in and out.
Neologisms: 1998
- across-the-world
Racing : Lady Herries aims for across-the-world double (112 The Angmering Park stable of Lady Herries are aiming at a remarkable across-the-world double next Saturday.

- adinuff
The fire-fighters brought out their answer to the Dockers cK, with a take on Adidas. The trade name was replaced with 'adinuff' underneath the world-renowned triangular logo.

- air-rage
His warning came as airline bosses met to discuss the establishment of an air-rage database, which could lead to blacklisting violent passengers

- aluminosis
The problem at Nou Camp is aluminosis, the deterioration of the main metal used in the construction of many modern stadiums.

- anagramable
That depends on the voter - Scrabble players tend to favor candidates with anagramable names, said John Williams of the National Scrabble Association. That makes the governor's race a toss up between George E Pataki (Pig ear to a geek) and Peter F Vallone (Plant free love). Of course, no candidate this year beats Spiro Agnew, whose name is anagramable to 'Grow a penis' Williams said.

- anti-CJD
Alan Dickinson, the institute's former director who carried out the work with his colleague Christine Farquhar, said pentosan polysulphate 'should be taken seriously' as a possible anti-CJD treatment

- autopeotomy
In his book The Surgeon of Crowthorne, Simon Winchester supplies medical background to the character Dr Minor's act of autopeotomy , and offers a warning : beware' the renowned bloodsucking Brazilian fishlet known as candiru, which likes to swim up a man's urine stream and lodge in the urethra, with a ring of retrorse spines preventing its removal, one of the very rare circumstances in which doctors will perform the operation known as a peotomy.

- back-to-the-earth
With the rise of the hippy movement during the late Sixties craftspeople once again became allied with back-to-the-earth living.

- ball-boying
I was always ball-boying on the net, and it was great to be close to (Bjorn) Borg, to see his racket

- beer-belt
Belgium has its own traditions, like each country in Europe's beer-belt

- begetteth
Dullness begetteth discontentment. which begetteth dysfunctionality.

- bellgirl
The flight arrives in Frankfurt on time, another card secures you a room on the hotel's executive floor, and you are so pleased with yourself that you tip the bellgirl an extra couple of Euros

- Birtite
Purporting to be a withering satire on the Birtite world of broadcasting it was really just another grandiose production, with a glittering cast list mouthing a very weak script (Malcolm Bradbury it was who adapted Mark Tavener's book

- Blair-friendly
Philip Gould Labour's opinion pollster, he played a part in the recent replacement of the editor of the Express with a more Blair-friendly version.

- Blairese
New Labour has mastered the knack of inserting its key buzz-words into dry policy statements, so the Queen, whether she liked it or not, was 'on message', echoing sing- song cadences of Blairese.

- Blairophone
Thanks to the PMV (Prime Minister's Voice technique, you will be fluent within weeks, because the Blairophone Language Course will enable you almost immediately to say the following vital phrases in the appropriate language

- blind-smelling
And what is the narrative but a vain rejection of all this, a defiant reassertion of ourselves, a valiant attempt at a blind-smelling of life itself ?

- Bransonologists
To the Bransonologists, those who follow every twist and turn of his complicated business affairs, the two story lines may be related.

- Bugbuster
Tony Blair's 'Bugbuster' project, launched in a blaze of publicity to train an army of 20,000 computer experts to tackle the Millennium problem, at a cost of pounds 26m, has hit its own bug.

- built-ins
I know men my age who have 20 or 30 suits hanging in their built-ins and they all look exactly the same.

- butched-up
Not that Stomp is all subtlety. The broomsticks become jousting tools cracking against each other as the company performs a breathtaking display of testosterone-fuelled derring-do. Tapping and bashing away, they are a butched-up Riverdance.

- Cakegate
It's Cakegate : It had the ingredients of a perfectly ordinary burglary. But a recent break- in at the Banbury Cake Company may actually have been a sneaky blow in a ruthless battle for supremacy.

- CharlesWorld
Yet, just a year later, there can no longer be any doubt that, if one chooses to see Britain simply as a battlefield for a war between CharlesWorld and DianaWorld, CharlesWorld is winning decisively.

- child-headed
The champion vegetable grower at a Unicef-sponsored project to help child-headed homes, she now labours just to keep her brothers' and sisters' heads above water

- choreopoems
On Wednesday, things take a turn for the theatrical, with highlights including choreopoems from dancer Jonzi D, monologues from Valerie Mason John, who was behind the recent fringe hit Sin Dykes, and dub-jester Pink Sly

- clear-conscienced
If what you see is Mr, Ms or Mrs Perfect, all muscle-toned, tight-tummied clear-conscienced, bright-eyed, emotionally-fulfilled, intellectually enriched and nutritionally- complete, then go ahead and take the whole of 1999 off.

- Clerkenwellisation
What Hackney fears is the ' Clerkenwellisation effect', where small industries are forced out by rising rents as any available office space gets converted into Manhattan loft-style apartments and the area loses its existing economic infrastructure, as has happened up the road in EC1

- clonally
Before 1976 and the blunder that allowed that ship of potatoes to come to Europe we had only the single strain and it reproduced clonally.

- coffinettes
The identity of the original owner was revealed inside four golden coffinettes which contained Tutankhamun's mummified internal organs

- contemporisation
Jonathan Miller's Armani-clad contemporisation for the Royal Opera was subtle ; ENO's Fifties New Look staging was briskly forthright.

- coo-day-tar
Books : From lessay-fair to a coo-day-tar : Melissa Benn acclaims a narrative of one girl's search for the language that defeats despair.

- copulins
Research at Vienna University shows that pheremones called 'copulins increase a woman's attractiveness.

- dago-phobia
Terence Blacker says Mohamed al-Fayed 'brings out the John Buchan in all of us, the acceptable face of English dago-phobia ('The foreigner it's OK to hate', 3 November).

- designy
In the last five years, Clapham High Street, among the pawnbrokers and discount stationers, has developed more chrome than a Cadillac, and is filled, in the evenings, with hordes of Chablis - drinking subtitle-reading, designy folk.

- Diana-philes
Either this style was supposed to represent the tumultuous media distortion that followed the Princess of Wales's death, or it was a ploy to disorientate irate Diana-philes before they had the chance to throw a Royal Wedding commemorative plate at the TV set.

- diStiples
If British REM fans, or 'diStiples' as they are known by the music press are jittery with excitement, it is not just down to the Radio 1 coup.

- doctor-speak
Instead he had an antisocial personality disorder, which is doctor-speak for being a nasty piece of work.

- docusoaps
I don't need to bother with all that interesting stuff after 11pm, like Film 98. So I'm stuck with a bland diet of soaps, docusoaps and documentaries.

- Domespeak
The Dome has already given us a new invention for the millennium : Domespeak, writes David Lister.

- e-envoy
Can anyone provide Pandora with a translation of Tory MP John Redwood's following statement : Is the e-envoy in addition to the digital envoy announced a short while ago?

- e-shopping
It sold 22 items in six months because its customer base knew nothing of e-shopping and was not interested in the reduced product range anyway.

- e-text
Since 1971, volunteers at Project Gutenberg a University of Illinois initiative to make as much public-domain literature as possible available as e-text - have been typing in books

- eco-ethological
Sponsored by prestigious Millennium Commission fellowships, four of us were to use our findings to improve understanding in schools and communities ; the other three were paying volunteers contributing to Earthwatch's global programme of eco-ethological and environmental projects

- EMU-phile
I wrote that 'EMU's dirty little secret is that a lot of things will have to happen afterwards which its proponents hide from us today. Without harmonisation of tax, pensions and eventually welfare provision, it cannot be sustained. An EMU-phile minister and a Treasury adviser rounded on me the next day.

- etymosophy
Alongside the exhaustive gazetteer of 300 places of prehistoric interest each one visited (and most photographed) by Cope with wife Dorian and sometimes, daughters Albany and Avalon - are a series of impassioned essays on neglected mother goddesses, the perniciousness of indoor religions and a somewhat bizarre linguistic meditation (his 'etymosophy'), of which more later

- ExecuSec
Combine typing, answering the phone, sorting mail and organising diaries and you have a pretty accurate picture of a standard secretarial job. But throw in some drafting of reports, researching material on the Internet, liaising with clients, finance directors, chief executives and the press, a dash of office management and a healthy dose of information processing and what do you have? Welcome to the world of the ExecuSec.

- Fenc
Although colleges will not quite be able to push the proverbial boat out, it is a good start and shows that consortia such as Fenc - the Further Education National Consortium - have been making their composite voice heard.

- festivalitis
A nasty attack of festivalitis : In a farmhouse bedroom near Hay-on-Wye, Michael Glover realises he is sick of the literary circle.

- flat-costed
As her earnings are initially uncertain, a 'flat-costed' plan would be most appropriate, as Jenny would not be penalised if she had to stop or reduce contributions.

- flexi-office
The friendly, flexi-office involves nomadic working, moving desks as the tasks demand, using only mobile phones and open plans, lap-tops, intranets and e-mail.

- Frankenfood
In his evangelistic style, Rifkin warned of the dangers of Frankenfood. 'We are determined that genetically engineered food will not reach the market,' he said then. Six years later, genetically engineered tomatoes and soyabeans are on supermarket shelves throughout the world, and many more such products are set to follow.

- Frankenstein-esque
Set in 16th-century Prague, it is a retelling of the Frankenstein-esque Jewish morality fable.

- funpark
There's great free-riding terrain around Arare, while the Bleue du Lac piste, with its funpark and permanent half-pipe, is recommended for freestylers.

- gadgeteers
It is kept running by 'gadgeteers ' from Caltech who beg surplus parts from richer institutions, literally rummage in refuse bins, and apply liberal quantities of a sticky tape known as 'Palomar'.

- gerundives
Modern grammarians don't mention gerunds and gerundives at all; others prefer to talk about ' verbal nouns'.

- Gourmetgate
Using exclusively British produce, the Swissair Gourmetgate kitchens at Heathrow now serve organic meals on all flights out of the UK.

- Hellograph
THE DAILY Telegraph has been known as the Hellograph by Private Eye for some time, but even regular readers of the paper were amazed to see so much space given over to a naked Anthea Turner last week.

- Hey-ulp
Penelope has ditched her shrill southern belle intonings of 'Hey-ulp' and taken on a rather more lurid vocabulary.

- homewears
But, top of the heap is Debenhams, which has been launching increasingly impressive' designer' collections since 1993 and has, this year, set designers loose on homewears

- HTMLers
The design document serves as the blueprint of the site and is used as a guide by graphic artists, HTMLers and programmers

- Hubbardish
The midfield cupboard remains distinctly Mother Hubbardish in appearance however. Josh Lewsey does not yet possess the kicking game to hold down the stand- off berth and, while Jonny Wilkinson can kick like a mule, his confidence levels must be positively subterranean after Brisbane.

- human-cow
The human-cow hybrid did not survive beyond a few days but it developed to the stage of a 32-cell embryo in an experiment that has far-reaching ethical implications

- hurry-sickness
Cooper, a psychology professor and Watts, a scriptwriter, start by defining stress factors ; everything from 'hurry-sickness', environmental ill-health and bereavement to family pressure, bureaucracy and low self-image

- Inspectress
Dorothy Stroud always struck me as two people, as the aptly titled Inspectress of Sir John Soane's Museum, in Lincoln's Inn Fields, where for almost 40 years she intimidated students of all ages, and the genial partridge-like figure whose life centred on Onslow Square and who enjoyed giving dinner to her friends and making fruitful introductions between them

- isness
But the crucial point about this oversized and slightly squashed cigar tube is that, like the Simon Jersey building, it is an affront to the lumpen structures around it. And its sheer isness funnels straight into a key image that has plagued Bintliff since the Gulf War.

- Junkiebond
Now, in response to a novel proposal from the Rotterdam Junkiebond, the drug addicts' union, the municipal health authority has agreed to finance an old folks home, devoted exclusively to drug users, for a one-year pilot scheme.

- groundouts
They scored a pair of second-inning runs on groundouts and got homers from Jason Kendall and Kevin Young.

- gigasquillions
You've crossed gigasquillions of light years from a dying civilisation to fetch up, sweaty and exhausted (and extremely old), in our solar system.

- cannable
Half of the 3.2 million tonnes of tuna caught each year is the bluefin's small relative skipjack (Euthynnus pelamis). Common in the cannable size of 2 to 3.5 kg, it is fished by huge freezer ships.

- sexoholic
Now the nubile Cockney lovely has been seen stepping out with acrumbly sexoholic, namely, the human turtle Mr Michael Douglas,53-year-old Hollywood star and ladykiller.

- lust-stricken
To the sighs of many a lust-stricken male tennis fan, thelovely Anna Kournikova withdrew from the tournament with an injuredthumb, closely followed by Mary 'The Body' Pierce, and Britain's greatwhite hope, Greg Rusedski, whose ankle had given way.
Neologisms: 1999
- joystick-twitching
If you've seen Keanu Reeves do his VR karate in The Matrix, or Wesley Snipes kick vampire butt in Blade, you'll know that the nimble, bloody aesthetic of the arcade shoot-em-up is being busily absorbed by film-makers who are randy for the cash of joystick-twitching kids.

- Azbakan
Meanwhile, the third Harry Potter adventure, The Prisoner Of Azbakan, sold almost as many hardback copies as the two earlier volumes did in paperback.

- toiletology
It turned out that I was Toto's only tourist booking for the day, but this didn't stop them from generously providing a full-hour lecture on the art of toiletology by someone who evidently had a doctorate in the subject.

- booze-laced
They are responsible for a sound that would exist in Britain if each member of the entire Royal Scots Guard was force-fed 40 cups of strong booze-laced espresso and locked in a room with only a tape - loop of the soundtrack to Saturday Night Fever for company

- intracompany
While Britain and Australia have some of the most liberal immigration regimes, as they apply to the partners of intracompany transferees, in the US trailing spouses have no automatic right to work and must apply, preferably from the home country, in their own right for a work visa.

- bioterrorism
RICHARD PRESTON, author of The Cobra Event, wrote a non-fiction account of the rise of 'bioterrorism', which was published in the New Yorker in 1997

- coature
Haute coature : Harper's Bazaar and the Daily Telegraph sang the praises of the coat-jacket and the duffle coat while The Independent tuned into eco-friendly sweaters

- arrangee
The trouble is : I'd practise what I preach and be the arranger, but I don't think I could bear to be the arrangee

- quasi-pornographic
The emblematic photographer of this period was Nobuyoshi Araki, who made his name with quasi-pornographic depictions of writhing young women bound, gagged and naked

- Britneys
Nick Leeson was spotted in a Leicester Square pub, chugging Britneys (Britney Spears, rhymes with beers) with three of his old muckers from Barings over the weekend.

- wrongish
There are still one or two paintings that strike me as having a wrongish size, and therefore give an eccentric scale to the figure

- quasi-futurist
Certainly this second album shows them to be excessively smitten by the quasi-futurist allure of analogue synthesisers, which they wield with scant regard for either fun or fashion.

- post-Baywatch
Even post-Baywatch, her website still attracts 8 million visitors a month. True, Anderson (who, appropriately enough, paid for her breast-enlargements out of her first Playboy fee), has not always been happy with her pneumatic shape.

- not-so-lookalike
LAUNCHED THIS week was the Channel 5 website, complete with a cartoon not-so-lookalike of the presenter Melinda Messenger.

- e-education
The Open University gave a head-start to the UK as an exporter of e-education, long before the Internet existed, and got to know a great deal about quality control and after-sales service of distance learning.

- mobsterdom
Against the immigrant backdrop of home-made wine and Sicilian pastries we watch the Don's son and heir, Michael, attend an Ivy League college and become the modern, respectable face of traditional mobsterdom

- body-modification
Nevertheless, it was in Huntington that the darkest, most extreme edge of the body-modification underground surfaced - in the form of a 56-year - old data-processing temp blinking in the media glare.

- porn-peddling
The one advantage of the location is that you can take books from the shop - Alex Ferguson's biography is a popular choice - and read them while you eat, thus making it the only restaurant in London where you can eat alone without feeling like a porn-peddling sociopath.

- sherbet-lemonisation
What does Cool Britannia mean to you? Dutifully monumental public art by Antony Gormley? Terence Conran's sherbet-lemonisation of restaurant design? Geri Halliwell in Union Jack knickers? That's right, it's a trick question Cool Britannia means absolutely nothing at all.

- inadequateness
How he rejoiced,' recalled Wilhelm Liebknecht when he had tempted a 'little student' to go on the ice and demonstrated in the person of the unfortunate the inadequateness of our universities and of academic culture

- e-enthusiastic
Long booms are not all good news, however, before we all get too e-enthusiastic.

- droogie
David Bowie was to use the Purcell For Queen Mary's Funeral music as a prelude to his concerts and the word droogie can be caught in his song Suffragette City

- huh-huh-huh-huh
His ex-girlfriend asked why she thought he needed flirting school ; said Paul's laugh is a bit too 'huh-huh-huh-huh' for me

- paddywacking
As it is, Our Father is an unintentionally laughable disaster, which plunders every paddywacking cliche in the Emerald Isle's bran tub of blarney

- monohydrate
Is it right to use creatine monohydrate, which is not banned but boosts power in explosive sports?

- bonkathon
Shearer, with that obduracy he invariably displays when challenged, would no doubt submit that, even in an indifferent season, with the below-the-surface intrigue more torrid than the BBC's Sunday night bonkathon, The Lakes, he has still amassed 11 goals in 24 games, and that while lacking a skilled breech-loader for his formidable array of weaponry.

- tabloidification
'The tabloidification of American life - of the news, of the culture, yea of human behaviour - is such a sweeping phenomenon that it can't be dismissed as merely a jokey footnote to the history of the 1990s,' David Kamp wrote in a long analysis in this month's Vanity Fair.

- unstacks
The first clue is Mr Sekulovic's dining room - on our arrival he hurriedly unstacks tables and chairs and brings out linen tablecloths before pressing us to have a drink

- bible-full
There has been a holy bible-full of miracles already this season.

- dot-coms
It is a simple matter of making sure you know your dot-coms from your dot-co-dot-uks.

- emulsification
Using a small whisk, beat in the olive oil in a thin stream until loosely homogenised (a trickle of boiling water from a kettle can help the emulsification here).

- sailboarders
The shallow harbour is ideal for novice sailors, sailboarders and potterers in small craft.

- schmooze-fest
Not surprising : That means only Samaranch and a handful of his cronies would benefit from the schmooze-fest that is the Olympic bidding process.

- non-X-rated
The film is part of Firewater Festival, a non-X-rated brief films selection that plays at Show World four nights a week

- stained-dress
Bill Clinton's impeachment woes are substantially Web-driven. Matt Drudge broke the original stained-dress story on his site, when the news magazines wouldn't handle it.

- demi-Blairite
He is, however, only a demi-Blairite. Straw does not like Liberal Democrats much, is an opponent of electoral reform, and was not delighted by Scottish devolution on terms that left England still subsidising Edinburgh.

- applecart-upsetters
Revolutionary fervour among true believers has dimmed too, as the battle has moved from the fierce passions of the applecart-upsetters and academics into the more complex field of popular culture, infiltrating the ways in which the vast majority of people live day to day

- echolocate
A philosopher Thomas Nagel, wrote a seminal paper in the Seventies entitled 'What is it Like to Be a Bat'. He concluded that we can never really understand what it is like to echolocate or fly in the dark, but what we do know is that there is something that it is like to be a bat.

- cyberstalker
The other day, California saw its first court case brought under a 'cyberstalker' law that came into force on 1 January. The prosecution claims that after a woman rejected his (physical) advances, Gary Dellapenta placed an ad under her name on a bulletin board claiming she was seeking male partners.

- grandchildren-like
Then again, when you are having a mini-renaissance among rivals who are less peers than grandchildren-like you are entitled to appear studious and Johnson, who has had several heart attacks, is happy to be able to play at all never mind at 55th in the world

- dollarization
Traders said a rise in interbank rates and statements from the presidential palace and Central Bank strongly denying rumours of either a pending dollarization of the economy or centralization of exchange operations had calmed the markets

- puddy-cat
The cacophony of puddy-cat noise held him like a teenage boy at a Nicole Kidman theatrical.

- charity-case-cum-servant
Set on a country estate in the Volga district, The Forest centres on Raisa Pavlovna, a tight-fisted widow and wealthy landowner (played by Frances de la Tour) who has set her devious cap at a dim but dishy young man half her age, and accordingly resolved to settle as little money as possible on her two dependents, an absentee nephew and a young adopted niece who lives with her and is treated as a charity-case-cum-servant

- drug-rape
Now she's Brookside's first drug-rape victim and we can't watch the programme with our children any more, even though the omnibus is on at 5pm on a Saturday

- nettitis
You've got to have nets to keep in touch but there have certainly been times this tour when I've had a bit of nettitis.

- thong-exposure
MONICA LEWINSKY, the young woman whose thong-exposure three years ago landed the President of the United States in so much hot water, was back in Washington DC yesterday, holed up in the rococo Mayflower Hotel just three blocks from the White House

- boybands
Boys will be boybands : They're everywhere. From Take That to 911, boybands have become the British pop institution of the decade.

- proto-svengali
From the earliest days of British pop, when Reg Smith and Ron Wycherley were re-christened Marty Wilde and Billy Fury by proto-svengali Larry Parnes (wonderfully spoofed in Boyz Unlimited), to the invention and sale of the Monkees to American TV as a homegrown riposte to the Beatles, young men have naively trusted their elders

- meta-sex
But the jury's still out as to whether the viewers' interest in the meta-sex that now infuses so much of the schedules is authentic or artificial.

- wizardocracy
Others, with a royalist streak, seemed to feel that Bungle's as-yet-unpunished outrage only proved this New Direction silliness had gone on long enough, and that it was high time the wizardocracy returned to the position of leadership their player class was born to

- ungangsterish
People were chatting in an ungangsterish way.

- traveloguey
With the tiger element removed from the programme, it was revealed for what it is, a bog-standard docu-soap with traveloguey 'dreaming spires' titles

- top-of-the-fops
More English than most Englishmen - as Irish literary types often are - Hannon has adopted a top-of-the-fops persona and a voice which is fruitier and plummier than Leslie Phillips in a jam factory.

- multiple-Oscar-winning
Heston's 1959 multiple-Oscar-winning Roman epic Ben Hur was also banned for its portrayal of Jesus

- turntablist
The cut and flow of the scratch style reignited the funk factor in tracks like 'The Knock' and 'Guns Blazing', while Ashcroft's 'Lonely Soul' was delivered from rock hell and turned into a turntablist classic

- quizling
Lance, who is married, with three children, was first drawn to the quizling circuit after a friend entered him for Mastermind without his knowing.

- stripper-gram
He has recently shacked up with a stripper-gram artiste whom we never meet and whose feelings on the paternity issue are steadfastly ignored until needed for a sterile plot-turn.

- codpiece-centricity
For, among the many virtues of historical novels, chief in my eyes was what you might call their codpiece-centricity.

- strawberry-blondeness
It's a little on the late side for that, of course - her hairstyle, her strawberry-blondeness, her fashion sense and her, how shall I put this child-bearing hindquarters, have all suffered already from the light cast by the Spencer madonna - but you have to admire such an impulse.

- euroettes
Will the shopkeeper say 'Here is 0.45 of a euro' or 'Here are 45 eurolings / euroettes or eurowhatevers

- unluvvie-ish
Burke's unluvvie-ish candour has not hindered her career.

- ex-madam-now-action-movie-transsexual
Love explains to Allure magazine why she loves the schizophrenia of LA : You've got your Moorish next to your Mediterranean next to your modern next to your British expatriate next to your aspiring starlet next to your ex-madam-now-action-movie-transsexual post-op next to your triple-A writer ex-crackhead Spanish-Chinese nursery owner.

- thinny
How cross it makes me when people say to a thinny 'You're so thin'

- gabberfest
An example would be gabber people dancing at a speed quicker than you can run, 220 beats per minute. Clearly there are drug undertones to this. In Austin, Texas, they had the first international gabberfest last summer.

- sleazebum
If someone close to you has just amazed you by telling you their rock-solid romance has just disintegrated, don't fall into the classic trap of saying 'I'm not surprised He/she was never good enough for you'. For one thing, it makes them look pretty stupid for sticking with the ratbag / sleazebum in the first place.

- creep-speak
One such offers five non-stop pages in which a pop music promoter makes serial telephone calls in creep-speak, wearing his headset and pushing buttons at speed.

- unkitsch
'The Day Before You Came' is a long, complex single, and lyrically it's the most unkitsch thing that Abba ever did.

- sexercise
I had years of training, and I could go back into it if I wanted you never really lose it, I'm using my body a lot these days - with Jay. I don't exercise, I sexercise. It does me good, that's why I'm smiling.

- nuff-respect
For more information on Linford Christie, see

- governancy
Andrew Lovett Head of Corporate Services HLB Kidsons As far as I'm concerned, the people with influence within auditing these days are those involved in corporate governancy like Nigel Turnbull who is finance director of the Rank Group whose most recent reports concern controls and systems within organisations.

- gossip-jockey
Her brother founded the New York Daily News and journalism was so much in her blood that she was not only a long-time columnist, news reporter and gossip-jockey, but later became editor of a Washington newspaper and 'the most powerful woman in America'.

- downsizes
The National Space Science Centre in Leicester (opening 2001) not only 'looks firmly to the future' as the brochure says it is so far in the future that it has had to park the Space Shuttle, on loan from Nasa, in rented premises to generate income while it downsizes Nick Grimshaw 's grand plans.
Neologisms: 2000

- weaselings
It forces every one of us to look into ourselves and decide what's right. It allows no political weaselings. No hiding place.

- com-fusion
It might be paranoia, but I can't seem to get away from these voices telling me to use the internet. They are everywhere on posters, when I switch on the radio, on TV and in the paper. It is getting too much for me to take in. I believe there is even a medical term for my problem: "dot com-fusion".

- battle-rallying
It was the prime minister's bid for a major part on the global stage, and it was used to justify his passionate advocacy of military intervention in Kosovo, at a cost of some £5 bn. Now a test looms, determining whether that was simply battle-rallying rhetoric or the first sketch of a consistent political vision.

- gruff’n’ready
The judo incident (technically known as a tussle please note gruff'n'ready boyish undertones. Grrr)

- e-bond
Bond One of the world's biggest borrowers from capital markets, the European Investment Bank, has launched the first sterling denominated e-bond. It used the internet to sell an additional £500m tranche of an existing bond issue.

- e-marketeers
"The big barrier has been that you can get teenagers to surf but you cannot get them to buy because they are under age for having credit cards," explains director of Fletcher Research, Neil Bradford. This has been frustrating for e-marketeers because they know parents have been buying for teenagers but they have not been able to capitalise on the growing online teenage market.

- e-marketing
Now the UK internet industry has discovered Generation Y. This e-marketing buzzword is a direct reference to the large number of UK teenagers who have grown up in a world of exploding technology and for whom being wired up is as natural as having electricity.

- interrogees
"The supervisory mechanisms will not stop the slide down the slippery slope, which turns democracies into abhorrent regimes where security forces are above the law and immune from punishment whenever acts against Palestinian interrogees are involved."

- fatiguability
Impaired ability to express himself audibly, succinctly and relevantly. Easy fatiguability.

- politico-paramilitary
Anderson's lawyers claim his captors were members of Hizbullah, or Party of God, "a politico-paramilitary terrorist organisation operating in Lebanon" sponsored and directed by Iran.

- eco-warrior-clobbered
Appearance: Suspiciously roughed up, eco-warrior-clobbered boys next door. For the soap opera-minded, just imagine a whole band full of Coronation Street's Spider. Ugh!

- megaportal
No surprise, then, that Wetherell talks of turning the search engine into a 'megaportal', one which surfers would be compelled to visit. This also explains why a major marketing campaign promoting Alta Vista Europe is now underway.

- half-clone
Researchers' enthusiasm to differentiate between the two types of human cloning has made them great promoters of the virtues of old-fashioned sex as the best procreation method. After all, as Yanagimachi points out, a human child is a half-clone of each parent.

- iconomania
What can art do now? and What should art do now? are distinct questions, but they both go to the heart of the problem facing the visual arts in the age of global iconomania, in the multimedia blizzard of signs and non-signs.

- over-chargers
over-chargers Chelsea and Tottenham, two of the grossest over-chargers in the Premiership have both announced that season ticket prices are to be frozen for two years (in Chelsea 's case from the beginning of the 2001-2 season.)

- taboo-smashing
Religious committees in America are forcing edits and even complete bans on some cartoons, and the Internet has become the ideal host for taboo-smashing animation. Can traditional cartoons still find a place in the television viewer's day?

- supergoo
Professor Tom McLeish of Leeds University tells Quentin Cooper about the wonderful properties of a slime called supergoo, known more formally as low density polyethylene

- gun-mob
Karl Lagerfeld, her successor, clearly feels that the gangsta chic look is so in that they should give up that boring old tasteful business, and go for LA gun-mob chic.

- smell-alike
But wood smoke is again the smell of Gongshan at night, walking down the pitch-black main street, a dozen warm fires lit to entice passers-by to a barbecue: a mandatory stopping point for revellers leaving the karaoke bars, something to soften the blow of the beer and local consumable paint-thinner smell-alike, baijiu .

- army-like
It seemed that we had been transported to a world of militaristic oppression, since guards were mounted beside the stage while dancers in army-like uniforms marched in front of us.

- mini-atomic
Mr Hare said the explosion was like "a mini-atomic bomb ... It was sickening sight. There was just a huge fireball".

- femme-friendly
It was Craig David, femme-friendly in the flesh and on record, who won the most rapturous response from the young crowd at this summer's Party in the Park festival, and it is the nattily dressed boy with the mellifluous vocals who sports a near 1,000 Marco Valentino watch.

- tweenagers
Thanks to icons such as professional shopper Posh Spice and a culture of consumerism, today's 12 to-16-year-old girls are rich and brand-aware enough to comprise a consumer group in their own right. There's even a snappy name for these mini-adults in designer breeches: tweenagers.

- voyeur-fest
Oh brother! I swear I was going to ignore it but I just happened to be walking past the TV set and ...The trouble with Big Brother, C4's 24 hour voyeur-fest, is that one gets so involved.

- anti-perspiration
That prime ministerial sweat is now being blamed on a humble cup of coffee. Bottles of mineral water fill a fridge behind the stage and Tony Blair, who wears anti-perspiration make-up, is banned from drinking coffee three hours before he speaks.

- toothy-smile
The Mets claim a solid white working class base, a solid, white, lower middle class and a 'toothy-smile' following stretching out along Long Island and typified by Hillary Clinton's electoral rival Rick Lazio.

- napsterisation
No matter what happens to Napster, napsterisation will march on. If music can cut out the computer in the middle, then so can films, books, audio and electronic commerce a warning to all the business-to-business electronic market places now being constructed.

- strumpety
Sandra was typical of these strumpety women, according to Tony anyway. Sandra was a "woman from hell" who had ruined a perfectly good marriage, Tony said. It was his marriage and Sandra had ruined it by having an affair with him.

- bunchy-outy
There's about three times as much material in a pleated curtain,' says Sally Hudson, curtain buyer at John Lewis, which gives you a fuller bunchy-outy effect.

- rechristianising
I am sure that the movement inside the Church of England to break the ties with the state will grow; disestablishment offers it the chance to become a campaigning missionary and a real agent, as it will see itself, of rechristianising Britain.

Neologisms: 2001
- apathy-inducing
Could it be that doing something about the boring stuff is, well, so boring as to be apathy-inducing?

- jeerers
The pens of these lofty jeerers drip with universal indiscriminate malice over good and bad people alike, with as much interest in the difference as Jonathan Aitken's "sword of truth".

- loyal-ish
After a lifetime spent as a loyal-ish subject of your sister/daughter and watching the family on telly doing whatever, one knows exactly what you look like but has no idea what you sound like.

- workerish
While do-nothing conservatism is their mode, they enjoy extremism of any complexion and excoriate the dreary toil of incremental improvement - bor-ring , sin-cere and social workerish.

- Nixonianism
He was a gracious tribune of the poor and dispossessed at a time when his party had been taken over by Nixonianism. The division between Lindsay and Nixon was not one of economic management. Lindsay was a classic welfarist. But then Nixon was also a big spender whose presidency was marked by the greatest extension of federal powers and government agencies since the days of FDR.

- fudge-packer
As the most famous gay man in Britain he was a cardboard cut-out figure, the political Village People's Machiavelli, a parody of the gay man as the shifty fudge-packer in the corner.

- e-voter
The e-voter survey showed online political advertising has some unintended and potentially negative consequences.

- chubsters
After all, what better confection to turn the little piggies into proper porkers than that which has transformed the nation's children into Europe's newly crowned top chubsters?

- over-tested
While more tests might provide a better overall picture of the abilities of potential students, we have to be very careful about the proliferation of exams and tests. Students in secondary education are already over-tested.

- campus-visit
Westminster's open days feature presentations, campus tours and advice stalls, while Bath Spa University College has post-application campus-visit days following their main open day in May.

- office-fodder
The organisations I was talking to seemed to be in a state of chaos, or unable to think beyond the narrowest boundaries. Almost every one had failed to reply, lost my details, didn't want me or needed me only as unskilled office-fodder.

- psuedo-casually
Uneasily, I eye the other people flipping pseudo-casually through the racks. The man beside me has a hungry look in his eye.

- anti-globalisation
The area around Porto Alegre, in fact, was the focus for violent protests against biochemical giant Monsanto's genetically modified soya seeds this year. Yet McDonald's has not attracted the same anti-globilisation resentment.

- scenery-struck
Uncurried goats wander everywhere. It's picture-book territory, but Jamaica's roads are so badly maintained that even the most scenery-struck driver must concentrate on the task at hand.

- region-coded
And, unlike the audio CDs they superficially resemble, they are region-coded, so forget about buying cheap davids from the US unless your player has been specifically modified for multi-region capability.

- smut-fest
Teen smut-fest American Pie 2 is being screened on the internet two weeks before it is due to hit cinema screens.

- screech-fuhrer
This is the brainchild of screech-fuhrer Perry Farrell, who's been much taken with the recent flashmob fad, in which upwards of 200 people gather at an appointed place to execute some pointless task.

- menstrual-products
Besides, the curriculum for that single hour of menstrual education is likely to be provided by the menstrual-products industry itself .

- fuzzy-minded
Value judgments are politically inspired assertions. Literary theory is fine provided you accept that it is all a game. Liberalism and humanism are fuzzy-minded self-deception. His own brand of intellectual showmanship is therefore the purest honesty.

- overtapped
But such artificially low charges maintain the fiction of cheap water and hide the fact that supplies are under increasing threat as ground water supplies are overtapped and rivers run dry .

- sockwear
But before reading any of Feeding Frenzy, it is advisable to consult the index, which covers not only the usual 'people, places and things, but also ideas, obsessions and my own irritating stylistic tics', so as to include 'tongues, locking', matching socks and shoes, co-ordinated foot and sockwear', and 'snicker-snack, fateful, of psychosis'.

- product-hungry
The answer is that you get a bit of both, although the distinction between bespoke collections and more apparently random gatherings, frequently made under the aegis of product-hungry publishers at various (often posthumous) points in a writer's career, is not a particularly reliable index to quality.

- half-pretending
At the time, I'd recently finished my second novel, and so I offered to stay with my father while my mother had her operation. To steer clear of his pride, she and I agreed to pretend that I was coming for her sake, not his. What's odd, though, is that I was only half-pretending.

- pyrrhically
My mother maintained that it was inconsiderate not to wear a hearing aid; my father complained that other people lacked the consideration to "speak up". The battle culminated pyrrhically, in his purchase of a hearing aid that he then declined to wear.

- e-reader
E Ink, one of the two companies developing this "electronic paper", revealed a prototype of a new lightweight e-reader, scheduled to go on sale in 2003. Its creators say it will be only a centimetre thick, with a seven-inch diagonal screen, and run on two AA batteries.

- English-schoolboy
Although some commentators still insist on treating his spanking fetish as if it were a kinky diversion, a naughty bit of English-schoolboy vice, he was engaged in far more than recreational play , as his use of the phrase 'anally sadistic' indicates.

- tatteration
He smuggled cigarettes into the hospital, even though, as Lahr notes, he was hooked up to enough oxygen to blow him and part of the ward into tatteration.
Neologisms: 2002
- e-Season
Subscribers to the site's e-Season Ticket package, which costs £40 a year, will receive the game free of charge. Liverpool along with Chelsea, Arsenal and Manchester United recently introduced a subscription service for match highlights and archived game coverage.

- breath-clouds
Be an armchair critic: write your own review How it fared in the ratings Kenneth Branagh as General Reinhard Heydrich BBC2, Friday January 25, 9pm Kathryn Flett, the Observer Verdict: near-faultless In the end, perhaps the most admirable thing about a near-faultless piece of drama (my only complaint : the mysterious lack of breath-clouds during those icy exterior shots was Conspiracy 's restraint.

- urine-damp
And the only way to make those sleek little windows shine is to kneel on the urine-damp floor with your head in the bowl and scrub each one with a green scourer, breathing in an overpowering essence of piss all the while.

- over-bothered
Healey himself does not seem over-bothered about Saturday, typically. "It wouldn't surprise me in the least if I'm not in the team at Murrayfield. Sure, I'd probably be upset not to be in, but I wouldn't be remotely shocked. Mind you, nobody's safe. There's a huge competition for places in the England team now."

- de-bugged
We don't buy any software at all. It's the only way to go as this stuff has to be de-bugged and we use the software very hard. Lots of proprietary systems are designed to work on one particular application and if you stretch that application too far they break.

- gourmandoisie
Snaring a table at El Bulli is an extreme sport of the international gourmandoisie.

- after-class
Another student added that students were invited to attend an after-class orgy at another instructor's home.

- neo-Americans
The hijacking of the cheated Canadian pairs figure skaters, David Pelletier and Jamie Sale, as neo-Americans in the face of those twin demons the Russians (as in the other gold-medal pair) and the French as in Marie-Reine Le Gougne, the judge who said she was told to vote for the Russians) has been quite breathtaking.

- neo-whatever-you-got
Look closely, though, and you can almost see yeomen folk stealing from their rose-fringed neo-whatever-you-got cottages to touch the forelock when the duke rides by in his eco-friendly Aston Martin.

- patient-less
For a long first hour she reassured viewers this was normally a feverishly busy place, even though behind her was a scene of patient-less desolation. She seemed almost relieved when a real life patient appeared.

- Widgety
Berry, however, says smaller products are best suited to it. 'The average transaction in the UK is £19.50. Widgety things sell particularly well,' he explains. 'If you've got a venetian blind cleaner, a little catalogue is the way to sell it.

- metropolis-sized
Flying over it on the return journey, it is clear that no road ever will. For mile on mile, glaciers like metropolis-sized bearskin rugs lie splayed over the mountain tops, limbs descending east into Argentina and westwards towards the sea.

- tramp-philosopher
The cartoons of George Price, George Booth and Charles Addams, for instance; the stories of JD Salinger and the profiles of Joseph Mitchell (most especially his classic portrait of the tramp-philosopher Joe Gould).

- pigeon-essence
Part of what he studies, naturally, is Britain itself, where even London pigeons, fat and grey and rat-like though they are, appear to be coursing with something imperial and rare, some pigeon-essence that powers their strut and their pompous inquisitiveness'.

- peakier
Perhaps my mother can be persuaded to vote. Our last hope in the fight against fascism. Last night she spotted the Pope on telly, trembling and tilting sideways as he ruled the Catholic church. She was rather cheered by this. He looked even peakier than she does.

- prognostics
Yet although this year looks like the road to nowhere for both Kelner and the paper, doomy prognostics from the savants underestimate the Indy's capacity to survive, and the willingness of its owners to keep it going.

- anti-intellectualising
Like the plays of John Osborne, the films of Lindsay Anderson, this new art and architecture was to be real angry, anti-intellectualising, about the visceral experience of modern ordinary life.

- dead-at-heart
So let's leave the last word on the dear old Queen Mother to the girl herself - Diana, mourner at every wedding and bride at every funeral loser and still champ, whose bitchiness and insecurities rendered her a real woman as opposed to a stoic statue, thus making the dead-at-heart hate her for her vitality, and who might as well be hanged for a sheep as a lamb when it comes to cattiness The Queen Mother?

- schoolmaster-ish
Mr Meacher can sound quaintly schoolmaster-ish about it all: he talks of the people who behave badly being "mainly, I fear, youths and maidens maidens!

- blogged
In the technology world, the blog has become the standard news medium: and especially at this conference. Throughout the four days, perhaps 50 of the attendees "blogged" the proceedings.

- lunchsets
The wonderful lunchsets on sale in the supermarkets feasts of rice, salmon, ham, vegetables.

- crocodile-ish
The Liverpool Daily Post had West Derby 's Labour MP Bob Wareing shedding crocodile-ish tears on the former topic I think it 's terrible that all those people living near Heathrow are going to suffer when in fact we could be developing Liverpool airport

- fretgod
"I once asked Mark Knopfler if he would like a beer," says Lance Phillips. "I was at the bar getting a round in and he was working at the studio that then employed me; he just said 'I think I can take care of that' and took over the whole round. I was caught in an apoplexy of confusion; annoyed at his attitude but chuffed that a multi-millionaire rock star and fretgod had bought me a pint of Old Peculiar."

- superflood
Leading Paris museums, including the Louvre and the Musée d'Orsay, are to move thousands of priceless artworks from their basement storerooms because of a feared "superflood" in the French capital this winter.

- stagekids
On which note, we leave a band who, behind the high spirits, farting, ringtones and water fights, really aren't the bratty stagekids you'll see on TV.

- off-tempo
Spurning samples they shot into space, experimenting with off-tempo handclaps and skittered skew-whiff beats that echoed endlessly around their intergalactic Supa Dupa planet.

- faux-charm
Kiera Knightley never wanted to do anything but act. She's no stage-school product (she was educated at her local comprehensive), and she's not remotely hammy or camp. A little stagey at moments maybe, but there's no Anna Scher-inspired faux-charm about her.

- milk-rich
However, its creator, the US-based company Morphotek, says it could be valuable to drug and agriculture companies, making it possible to isolate highly profitable breeds, drought-resistant plants or milk-rich cows.

- bio-imaging
The Beacon research programme, part of a DTI initiative to provide a platform for UK world-class research in the areas of bioinformatics, bio-imaging and nanotechnology, will focus on developing technologies that will provide novel healthcare solutions.

- poverty-abolition
The Institute for Fiscal Studies estimates that the government needs to spend another 2.5bn on tax credits to get 1.1 million children out of poverty by April 2005, to hit the key quarter-way mark in Labour's poverty-abolition pledge.

- black-empowered
While Lonmin said it sold its Independence Gold operation to a local black-empowered group after running up considerable losses, Rio Tinto continues to pursue gold mining and other exploration work.
Neologisms: 2003
- heirhead
The Simple Life, in which the pampered Paris Hilton and best friend and fellow 'heirhead' Nicole Richie, daughter of pop star Lionel Richie, swap the Beverly Hills and New York party circuits for 30 days working on an Arkansas farm, was panned by critics yet still attracted 13 million viewers.

- ITunes
ITunes, which is currently only available in the US, has had over 4 million paying customers in its first six weeks of operation and sparked hopes among record companies and web distributors that users can be tempted away from illegal download sites such as Kazaa and WinMX.

- Svengali-Goran
Arsene Wenger is Gary Numan. Gerard Houlier is Dido. Gazza is Elvis. Graham Taylor is Slaughter & The Dogs. Tord Grip and Svengali-Goran Eriksson (see what I did there?) are Bjorn and Benny from Abba.

- emo-rock
As with 2001's Love Is Here, their brand of emo-rock makes much of the lavish arrangement (Spectorean strings and bells are just the start) and the pregnant pause, all weighted for maximum tremulousness.

- psuedo-presidentialism
Blair was tempted into psuedo-presidentialism by the apparent personal power of the American presidency and by Thatcher's tabloid ambition to put the ' great ' back into Great Britain.

- frumpsville
The Guardian, however, counselled against going too retro. You do need to inject a little modern attitude or you 're on a one-way ticket to frumpsville.

- gourmandoisie
Snaring a table at El Bulli is an extreme sport of the international gourmandoisie.

- India-stan
The BJP rejected the idea that India should be secular; its more extreme supporters wanted to turn the country into a Hindu state, a sort of Indian version of Pakistan, an India-stan.

- Islingtonistas
True Islingtonistas will be aghast at the inaccurate addition of tablecloths to the wooden minimalism of Granita. I nearly choked on my polenta.

- Cowell-esque
The real problem, though, lies with Lord Hutton, who is simply too polite. The occasional intervention on some footling point just doesn't work. The public expects Cowell-esque humiliation.

- Sexaholism
Sexaholism, says Brown, follows similar patterns to other addictions such as alcoholism or gambling.

- semi-mulleted
But the semi-mulleted winger takes full advantage and shows some pace (a rarity in the Scottish back division) to speed through and score in the left-hand corner.

- metronomics
Wilkinson's customary metronomics with the boot served to highlight the shocking performance of his opposite number Louis Koen.

- whitetile
A lecturer in Beatles studies, from, I suppose, one of the new whitetile universities claimed that The Beatles introduced the new role of entertainer as intellectual.

- cod-romance
Having launched and lost Charles Chaplin in 1914, Mack's greatest grossing star was now cross-eyed Ben Turpin soon to excel in his series of cod-romance satires, such as his pastiche of Rudolph Valentino in The Shriek of Araby.

- Shakespearised
It was apparently first used in 1836 by the American transcendentalist Ralph Waldo Emerson, who complained that the English dramatic poets have Shakespearised now for two hundred years.

- underrealised
John Comiskey and Alan Farquharson designed and lit the gorgeously monumental artist's workshop set, on which I wish I had watched the final, missing act of this ambitious, underrealised play.

- screech-fuhrer
This is the brainchild of screech-fuhrer Perry Farrell, who's been much taken with the recent flashmob fad, in which upwards of 200 people gather at an appointed place to execute some pointless task.

- Mmmbearable
Most simply vanish from public view remembered only by a handful of die-hard fans, which appeared to be the fate of Hanson, three prepubescent, devout Christian brothers from Tulsa, Oklahoma, who sold 8m albums in 1997 on the back of Mmmbop, an irrepressibly perky song that quickly became Mmmbearable.

- politisoap
A variety of readers have been in touch about minor inaccuracies in The Deal, the politisoap shown on Channel 4 on Sunday night.

- non-manic
This is your first signal to pause for non-manic reflection.

- presentish
Saddam presented a clearish and presentish danger.

- wife-porn
I have nothing against couples making films together, if that's what rings their bell. I just think they need to accept that it's only a celebrity sprinkle on suburban wife-porn, and market the product accordingly. Ben and J-Lo could have kept costs down by getting it on in a car park near Wimbledon Common - and every person who paid to see Gigli could probably have fitted around the car.

- singalongalikes
With Ewan McGregor and Renée Zellweger as Rock'n'Doris singalongalikes, it unfolds largely in note-perfect in-studio recreations of the kinds of pink boudoirs, green-and-brown bachelor apartments and retro-futuristic office spaces wherein the original sex warriors hatched their wily schemes of seduction.

- de-Arabising
For the first time, we have an American administration that talks of de-Arabising the Middle East - the ultimate Perleian dream of Arab nations governed by clones of Ahmed Chalabi, their bazaars buried under shopping malls and Arab hospitality.

- squint-inducing
From the shady to the grainy : the News of the World on Sunday splashed with squint-inducing pictures of Beckham and the brunette. It's 2.30 am and lonely England ace cosies up with girl in Madrid club.

- spindocracy
Not quite fact, not quite fiction, and not at all entertaining it sneered, describing K Street as a pointlessly rambling inside look at Washington's spindocracy - a self-contained self-satisfied group of political hangers-on who are fascinating to each other and of no interest to anyone else.

- Ginolan
Though Rooney isn't graced with Ginolan good looks, there is always a risk that wannabe footballers' wives or naughty ladies planted by tabloids will move in on him, especially once, two weeks hence, he's legally entitled to consume alcohol.

- meedja-type
A nasty meedja-type person has allegedly sneered that Come Dancing's revival smacks of BBC executives having just sat in the pub and reminisced about the programmes they used to watch as kids.

- bunchy-outy
There's about three times as much material in a pleated curtain,' says Sally Hudson, curtain buyer at John Lewis, which gives you a fuller bunchy-outy effect.

- web-emy
For the first time, Google was starting to look like public web-emy number one - and it did not handle it well at all.

- goaldiggers
They spoke of football groupies, or 'goaldiggers', as they called them, who would offer themselves to players.

- wanksta
And another claim to fame : you introduced the word 'wanksta' into the language with your track ' Wanksta '.

- googlewhack
Take two obscure and unrelated words, type them into the google search bar and if the result is a solitary web page you have found a googlewhack.

- GBH-ing
A new discipline from south London that grew out of BMX-ing, GBH-ing is a thrilling combination of bike-born acrobatics and extreme fighting.

- phished
Sarah Left explains how not to be 'phished in' by the latest email scam to hit your inbox.

- ebloody
If ebooks have ejackets then I can perhaps add an ewarning about ebloody estrong elanguage.

- Jill-of-all-trades
Brotherton, 41, has worked for Luton for almost 10 years as what she calls a Jill-of-all-trades serving lunches and drinks to directors, players and guests.

- anti-tainment
Relegated to the farthest-flung corners of the satellite schedules and forced to forage for survival in the damp gaps that lurk between forgotten Nancy Lam vehicles and repeats of Badger, the fishing show traditionally languishes in sniggering, anti-tainment hell.

- al-Qaida-spawned
Although al-Qaida-spawned Islamic fundamentalist terrorism is aimed primarily at the west - meaning the US, close allies of the US such as Israel and Britain, and pro-western Arab governments - it is Muslims and non-westerners who frequently get hurt.

- G.W.B.
There was a dispiriting contrast between G.W.B. shutting out the world and avoiding the British public, and the black-and-white clips this week of J.F.K. reaching out to the world and being adored by Berliners.

- hizzo
The worlds of word games and pop stars are not so far removed as you might think: USA Today also remarked on the rapper Ludacris who says one of his favourite tour bus activities is 'hip-hop Scrabble', where only words such as 'bling' and 'hizzo' are allowed on the board.

- Shroomshop
Amolon, a Birmingham-based operation, has a burgeoning delivery and mail-order business that supplies customers across the country, while the Shroomshop, a collective of 20 UK growers, sends mushrooms direct to head-shops in the Midlands.

- youther
This cultural blurring is reflected in a new lexicon of marketing spiel, spotlighting such emergent consumer groups as the kidult or adultescent (whose age ranges from 25-35), the middle youther (35-45) and the silver surfer internet users in their dotage.

- nerd-fest
Next week sees the release of the final instalment in Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings trilogy, awash with elves and hobbits and surely the most monumental nerd-fest of the lot.

- accentism
There are quite a few linguists who favour legislation along the lines of banning discrimination against what they call accentism.

- clusterfuck
The four train crashes that Hare's documentary stages and examines are examples of what the US military calls a clusterfuck.

Then, equilibrium restored, I switch over to Fox Sports World (FAXSPARTZWARHLDAH!).

- re-re-re-re-resurrect
And Chris Turner has offered Paul Gascoigne the chance to re-re-re-re-resurrect his career at Sheffield Wednesday.

- multi-facelifted
Starting with the bleached face, collapsing jowls and terrified eyes from Jackson's police mugshot, you might think you were looking at a multi-facelifted old woman with a thyroid problem.

- skinnified
Alison Moyet, a big woman in every sense, was famed in the 80s for refusing to shrink to eight stone, but by her 2001 comeback she had skinnified considerably.
Neologisms: 2004
- podcast
to keep them soothed before their morning walk, I've rigged up a podcast. Podcasting is the name for a new combination of technologies that automatically downloads audio files to your MP3 player via your computer.

- un-smoky
Six single malts Bruichladdic , 10-year-old 24.99 Unusual for Islay whiskies ( which are mostly heavy and peaty ), this is light and un-smoky.

- bio-waste
In the courtyard of my own block, there are no less than seven different sorts: green bins with white, brown and green lids for different sorts of glass; a blue one for paper, a yellow one for plastic and metal, and a brown one for "bio-waste", in other words plate-scrapings and other yukky matter.

- eco-gloom
Thankfully, there are chinks in the eco-gloom. Although we've been slow to embrace sustainable principles, a shift is beginning to occur at least in Europe. The waste disposal plant at Delft, in Holland, by Dutch architects UN, for example, wonderfully communicates changing attitudes.

- garbage-making
'If not for 20th-century garbage-making skills, we 'd all be buried under 20th-century garbage,' observes the mayor.

- sub-classifications
Inconsistent standards and opacity seem to have been in place at least since Congress passed the Immigration Act of 1990 which set out a labyrinth of classifications and sub-classifications for visas. Foreign artists had to prove themselves to be of "extraordinary ability" to obtain an 01 type visa, or of "international renown" to get a P2.

- fightfest
Star Wars : Episode III will be a fightfest, with the majority of screentime consisting of battle scenes, according to the film's stunt coordinator Nick Gillard.

- pro-atheism
Since I had written a pro-atheism book and co-authored a pamphlet against the expansion of religious schools, she thought I might be a suitable candidate.

- tipsier
The noise at its general level was all but intolerable, and at frequent intervals it surged: there was a big television screen on one wall, invisible to most of the people in the room and not yet being watched seriously by anyone because events at the Booker dinner were still at the stage of preliminary commentary, and a number of the tipsier among our party felt it a great joke to yell Phooaaarrr at the tops of their voices whenever a name was said.

- walrus-sized
In the Daily Mirror, Tara Palmer-Tomkinson sympathised with the men who endured the years when if you had a chest rug you weren't seen as a sex god, more as walrus-sized singing god Demis Roussos.

- poo-loving
The Little Mole is a scatological masterpiece. In what is surely a brilliant metaphor for life, the Little Mole emerges from his hole one morning to find a curly poo sitting on his head. He spends the rest of the book asking various animals: "Did you do this on my head?" It's a kind of Prime Suspect for poo-loving toddlers.

- prize-bearers
There are plenty of rewards on offer, but the risks are great too, as the prize-bearers are far from keen on releasing them India's annual Pongal festival is held in the village of Peelamedu near the southern city of Madurai in the province of Tamil Nadu.

I wear velcroed clothes so that once I 'm over the hoardings I can be stripped and running around on the pitch in an instant.

- ticket-clenching
At Cheltenham in 2003, I was in the owners' tent for the Champion Chase. A huge cheer went up when two horses fell at the second last. If you looked at the boozed-up, ticket-clenching, exultant faces of the cheerers, you realised they couldn't care less.

The after-effects of a Thursday night storm allowed only a half-serving yesterday and Bond, understandably, was tentative; this was no day for a speed-gun reading.

- zero-politics
It was a mystery to me why he struggled at Renault. Maybe politics had something to do with it. But BAR is a zero-politics team. We've stepped up to the next level this year, and so has he.

- e-record
This will be a website where students set out on a virtual journey across the world. Along the way, they will solve problems to provide clues to each destination, and create an e-record of their travels. It will be an exercise in real-life research skills, with expert email advisers available to answer questions.

- micropublishing
Weblogs or "blogs" are a form of online micropublishing, typically of personal thoughts and web links. The advent of freely available blog software has removed the technical hurdles to writing online. Many traditional media outlets see blogs as a form of unchecked and amateur journalism, but to the highly technical and incestuous "blogerati", blogs are both a new genre of writing and a force for democratic good.

- e-portfolio
Assessment is another area where blogs may have something to offer. Students taking courses that require evidence of the process, rather than the final product, to gain accreditation would benefit from the journal format and the ability for others to comment on what has been posted. These features take blogs beyond being a simple e-portfolio and are particularly useful where there is a need for proof that feedback was given and acted on.

- cheek-reddening
Alfa Romeo use it for their 156 and Volvo use it for the V50 , and , in its bold self-contradictoriness , its ambition seems to be to spin one back to the 1960s, when estates were more exotic and could seem redolent of pine-scented, cheek-reddening, Alpine ski-trips, rather than dutifully belted journeys to the municipal swimming pool.

- butt-sex
This Joplin book is insanely graphic, you know, all abscesses, butt-sex, heroin this cocaine that. I can't believe she was like that.

- eBaying
Accordingly eBay has made the ultimate transformation from trademarked proper noun to verb: I may eBay that vase later tonight my decorator spends all his evenings eBaying for a 1982 BMW.

- fourth-official
A new fourth official would have been logical, but instead the Premier League brought in a new, and inexperienced, referee and shifted Bennett to fourth-official duties.

- un-phat
In a totally square, Famous Five (i.e. un-phat) way, there is something fun about the idea of a weekend 's caravanning.

- supertrendy
Undoubtedly one of Madrid 's coolest hang-outs, and shows no signs of falling out of favour with the city's supertrendy crowd.

- Kerouac-esque
There are plenty of important details missing from this memoir. The five chapters do not amount to a formal autobiography, more a Kerouac-esque riff on some formative moments.

- parent-alienating
Britpop's musical retrospection gave it cross-generational appeal - dads liked Oasis too - but dance music had the parent-alienating folk-devil edge of punk or psychedelia: tabloid headlines about drug epidemics, the criminal justice bill, which famously legislated against music primarily categorised by "repetitive beats".
Neologisms: 2005
- under-budgeting
The company also hinted it was likely to incur a one-off charge of £600,000 primarily in relation to unforeseen staffing costs at its Hammicks stores acquired in 2003. This under-budgeting is thought to be one of the reasons behind the surprise resignation of finance director Edward Knighton in September.

- knickery
A survey commissioned for P&O Cruises exclusively revealed that among the many, many items we cram into our suitcases, like so much sage and onion into the derriere of a chicken, are 21 pairs of knickers for a 14 day summer holiday. In the interests of hygiene, VPL and seduction, we think this is more than reasonable. Well done, our knickery sisters.

- tubthump
Ian Botham still thinks England can win. The man's ability to tubthump knows no bounds.

- gonzo-metal
He would then play some example of dizzyingly brilliant gonzo-metal - something by AC / DC, ideally although UFO would do - and hail it in the kind of stentorian tones that only seemed to underline the music's brute power.

- unpowdered
Oh, you may think, with your unpowdered complexion, that your skin beams with that cockle-warm glow of rude health. Alas, no, my naive little kittens. Nine times out of 10, you in fact resemble a shiny, sweaty moonface, fresh from the moshpit. Powder finishes a look â think of it like the parsley garnish on top of the fish pie of your make-up: it makes you look well-groomed, unflappable and, well, complete.

- re-synch
A crisply executed see-if-I-can-make em-yawn experiment is just the thing to re-boot and re-synch everyone's operating system. In technical terms: it is a stimulating educational experience.

- underegg
Never one to underegg a pudding, he went on and on These are houses. They're static. as if he'd scored a huge debating point.

- here-after
Kurt Cobain's mother called it that stupid club the enclosure presumably located somewhere in the here-after in which Jim Morrison clinks glasses with Brian Jones, Gram Parsons tries to avoid Sid Vicious, and all those stars who suffered an early death toast the revenue from posthumous record sales.

- blokiest
The meals are one of the blokiest things about the original trilogy.

- soapishness
As the episodes went by, I became mildly hooked on the very German high-seriousness, combined with the story's extravagant soapishness.

- punkadelic
The punkadelic blast of early Fanclub has given way to a lyrical folk-pop feel, although they do permit themselves a voyage into scuzzy space-rock in Born Under a Good Sign, and the band's always excellent harmonies sound preternaturally warm and smooth .

- dumb-asses
Those dumb-asses don't know what they 're doing - On the US Congress after President Bush signed a law in 2004 imposing sanctions on the Belarussian regime.

- e-move
Last week, the Cross household moved, a few miles across north London. What we lacked in geographical ambition we tried to make up with technology. This was to be an e-move: every possible step would be carried out on the web.

- quasi-marriages
Although, like Widdecombe, Lord Falconer, a former commercial lawyer is not the first person you might turn to for advice - even less so perhaps, after his record on the dome - that is not to say private cohabitation arrangements shouldn't be turned into quasi-marriages with a similar set of perks and penalties.

- solemnified
The first novels ever written were novels that made us laugh. We laugh rarely when we're reading now, aloud or to ourselves. The blockbusters which people take to the beach, like the novels solemnified by 9/11 though those make it far less frequently to the seaside are read as though in a trance.

- biblically-driven
But, like Black Prophet, his biblically-driven Ghanaian beach Rasta, we, too, would probably have ended up telling him what to think instead of letting him frame his own questions and find his own answers.

- soapery
Denice Purdie says she is aiming for a modern image for her products we haven't gone for Scottish twee at all she says - and has ambitious plans to build a soapery at Colintraive to provide local employment. The business opened an e-commerce website,, in September, but so far it has taken just a single order.

Which is to say, Downey makes Kilmer's hardboiled gay private eye seem laconic and world-weary while Kilmer makes Downey's troubleprone screw-up seem charming and worth rooting for.

- carrotiness
On the bag it read, 'We oppose excessive cosmetic grading which often results in up to 40% of the crop being wasted. This is how they grow in nature.' No apologies for their general 'carrotiness' some day all carrots will be grown this way.

- tastebud-trouncing
Closer to home Richard Corrigan reinvented that classic Irish mash, champ, as a fit companion to high-class cooking and then went on to create a tastebud-trouncing, stomach-storming oxtail mash.

- politisoap
A variety of readers have been in touch about minor inaccuracies in The Deal, the politisoap shown on Channel 4 on Sunday night.

- tactics-lite
It's also unnecessarily difficult with its tactics-lite squad-based shooting antics regularly getting frustrating in the exact way Tom Clancy 's Rainbow Six series did before it.

- anti-opiates
Jon Grant, a maverick University of Minnesota researcher, consultant for several pharmaceutical companies, and one of the few scientists studying theft as an addiction, plugs anti-opiates. They "bring the pleasure of stealing down to a normal level", he argues.

- festival-themed
Friday sees them return to the Custard Factory for a four-arena, festival-themed affair with a playlist covering hard house, psy-trance, breaks, techno, jump-up, drum'n'bass and jungle.

- text-voter
Even if you're not a text-voter, or you're pushing 30, live in a rural idyll, and have no idea what, say merk shotting or brap mean, the effect of landing in a sympathetic heroine's shoes is a cunning trick.

- half-memorable
Similarly, Madonna has benefited from the law of averages on a couple of half-memorable singles, but music - as opposed to the marketing of music - would be no different if she'd never bothered.

- squint-inducing
From the shady to the grainy: the News of the World on Sunday splashed with squint-inducing pictures of Beckham and the brunette. It's 2.30 am and lonely England ace cosies up with girl in Madrid club.

- chatroom-going
As many London-living, chatroom-going Americans have remarked, you would not be able to get away with this kind of thing in the US.

- treacle-baked
The food makes a point of local ingredients - on our visit, there were treacle-baked free-range Middlewhite ribs from Garstange with devilled black peas, and warm pickled brisket from the Trough of Bowland with cress and homemade piccalilli.

- homo-bashing
According to the owner of one of these absurd religious theme parks, the Kentucky-based Ken Ham, this is all part of America 's homo-bashing culture wars.

- Dylan-sized
Shulman short, grim and with a monk's hairdo is a peculiar poster boy for the cause of the "theft addict". In his keynote address, he congratulates the attendees for "making history", but then turns sour, complaining that a Bob Dylan-sized audience has failed to turn out.

- batty-old-bag
There are moments when this performance threatens to descend into one of Lipman's batty-old-bag turns, and others when it is just comically sublime; although Lipman is at her very best in a scene when a steely matron interrupts a recital complaining on behalf of the music lovers of America.

- terror-resistant
Their power comes not from terror but a terror-resistant strain of hope, so sturdy it can take root in the midst of Colombia's seemingly hopeless civil war.

- poverty-preventing
The dwindling state basic pension would be turned into a poverty-preventing citizen's pension, based on residency not contributions, earnings-related so it will not continue to shrink.

- computer-servicing
I smile at all the faulty Time PCs brought in here says the owner of a Burnley computer-servicing shop, a line of Simonstone computers in various stages of repair still standing in front of his cash register.

- weak-as-water
The songs from her weak-as-water album American Life sounded great, thanks to Price's beefy arrangements, and even the diabolical Hollywood seemed fabulous when the dancers were giving their all.

- debt-bingeing
At some point the process of loading ever more debt on to pubs will reach a natural conclusion. But binge-drinking and debt-bingeing will be this sector's calling cards for a while yet.

- wacky-lite
A very wacky-lite, low-key kind of comedy from debut actor-director Zach Braff. It has a keen eye for detail and some lovely moments, though it also descends to a few platitudes at times.
Neologisms: 2006
Alone, his comment might be dismissed as the forlorn rantings of a lone anti-citrus bigot.

- whupp-ass
Juve, plainly bored with Milan's company, simply opened a large can of whupp-ass on their newly-promoted hosts.

- Transfer-ban
Chelsea have denied breaking the rules in their fight for Nigerian teenager John Obi Mikel , after the BBC obtained access to a letter from the MU Rowdies to Fifa demanding a season-long transfer-ban on the Special One and chums.

- e-grocery
Tesco's e-grocery service has also proved a big success. However, it is based on a very different model customers' orders are selected, packed and dispatched from a "bricks-and-mortar" store as opposed to an Ocado-style warehouse.

- paedo-chic
Girlish as they are , they are rather flattering without quite being an example of what I call in my more refined moments paedo-chic. I refer you to the resurgence of Miffy and Hello Kitty as style icons.

- hoodied
A pretty, brilliant American girl goes to sleep in an Oxford sleep laboratory, and never wakes up shot in the night by a man wearing a hoodie. Chief suspect is her troubled (and hoodied) sort of boyfriend.

- interest-o-meter
With Davies floundering in his role as MC, just a few sides left in the drum and the early fixtures barely registering a flicker on the Fiver's interest-o-meter, it was more in hope than expectation that we stayed tuned to events at Soho Square rather than switching the channel to revel at the latest madcap scheme involving mischievous Toadfish replacing Harold's tuba with Paul Robinson's prosthetic leg on Neighbours.

- anti-moustache
The official reasoning given for these anti-moustache sentiments, beyond the operating theatre at least, are bunkum of the highest order. Employers have argued in the past that facial hair is unhygienic! An employees' eyebrows, sideburns and arm hair are all sanitary enough but apparently you can never be sure when an employee might go postal and use their moustache to daub E.coli all over the workplace. Heaven knows we've seen it before.

- joke-rock
In the last series of Rock School (Channel 4, Sunday), joke-rock legend Gene Simmons somehow managed to create a rock'n'roll band from the hallowed halls and manicured lawns of Christ 's Hospital school .

- frumphood
Jess Cartner-Morley The pleated skirt has long been sartorial shorthand for frumphood.

- KKK-type
And when he asked me, in his Alabama drawl , if I was English , I thought Another typical raghead-hating, stars-and-bars, KKK-type redneck.

- nimf-ism
However , motoring organisations are sceptical about whether motorway drivers can be persuaded to allow an extra person to share their space - a reluctance dubbed nimf-ism or not in my front seat.

- snot-dribbling
She slumps, she croons, she recollects the confusions of her childhood world. There are moments of adult irony and of snot-dribbling tearful anger.

- hyperbuck
Our Croat counterparts are the talk of the kiosk this morning after revealing that not one but two clubs are lining up hyperbuck deals for the really , really , really good Ronaldinho.

- screech-fuhrer
This is the brainchild of screech-fuhrer Perry Farrell, who's been much taken with the recent flashmob fad, in which upwards of 200 people gather at an appointed place to execute some pointless task.

- Jowellgate
It's been hard for Gordon Brown to compete with Jowellgate, loans for ermine, stonking great deficits in the NHS and Labour rebellions over the education bill.

- death-of-the-Sixties
Riot as a whole is one of the definitive death-of-the-Sixties artefacts, an aural downer in the aftermath of the decade that was supposed to change the world

- Cowell-alike
It broadly satirises a pop idol-like TV show (with Grant as your Cowell-alike) and an out of touch US president who makes an appearance on it.

- hellpits
The guilds system was a voluntary method of management that gave every worker a degree of responsibility for his own output, which is rare in today's Fordist production lines and service centre hellpits.

- Debenhamed
Time and again he discovers: "Where there was once production there is only heritage now." Glasgow, he notes bitterly, "has been Dixoned and Debenhamed". And yet, as he journeys through this post-industrial, chainstore-massacred landscape, McKie is alive to what's good.

- eco-renovate
The family rents a ramshackle cottage in Dorset, but plans to "eco-renovate" a property once the money from the house sale in France comes through. "We want to be as green as we can, but on a budget," she says.

- jingothon
If this was an example of what we can expect at the World Cup, where the England side will field 11 Englishmen, then we're in for a jingothon of blinkered nationalism that will make Pathe newsreels of the Suez invasion look like models of factual objectivity

- ultra-materialistic
The change is part of a big push to strengthen Confucian values among the population of 1.3 billion people in China at a time when moral compasses have been sent spinning by the country 's rapid shift from revolutionary communism to ultra-materialistic capitalism

- shit-eater
How he says what he says, of course, opens us into the central irony of most Amis novels , in which the issue of storytelling is always the issue of character, of self-interest and nuanced self-deception - narrative as the filthy Nabokovian stream from which the reader, like a shit-eater at the bottom of the labour camp food chain, must filter moral sustenance

- Googleware
Googleware, the seamless union of hardware and software, gives the search company the largest computer system in the world and keeps it ahead of the competition.

- scampishly
I Want You, scampishly introduced as a slow one for the ladies and all the pretty boys is only slow compared with the runaway-train velocity of Checkin' it Out and Get Delirious.

- Wagnerphiles
No doubt there are some Wagnerphiles who are glad to have a culturally acceptable version of Tolkien, but that does not account for all of his appeal.
Neologisms: 2007
- schoolteacher-ly
'Was that last question from a "G Hands"?' adds the drummer, in his soft-spoken, schoolteacher-ly fashion.

- skin-prickler
‘The real skin-prickler, though, is 'Isle of Her', a creepy chant-along. The added rock weight is a revelation here’.

- supermarket-starved
But his pledge to open branches in America's notorious, supermarket-starved 'food deserts' suggests a desire to do some real good and has won him favour in political circles.

- elevator-team
The perennial "elevator-team" (always going up and down between the divisions) are only one point clear of the relegation zone and the person responsible for inadvertently pushing the B for Basement button has been easily identified.

- alkinise
Lemons, as acidic as they are, alkinise the body.

- semi-immortality
Nevertheless, life expectancy for a man in Britain is 75, an improvement of 35 years on the beginning of the 19th century but some way short of the semi-immortality everyone seems to seek in the pampered western world.

- ankle-booted
I've never really understood the point of "trendy" shoes, which tends to mean "the same footwear that everyone else is wearing this month. To see a group of teenagers marching down the high street, all uniformly ankle-booted, is to be reminded of the scene in Dances With Wolves when Kevin Costner faces down an oncoming herd of cloven-hooved beasts; where's the individuality in resembling a stampeding piece of steak?

- interest-o-meter
With Davies floundering in his role as MC, just a few sides left in the drum and the early fixtures barely registering a flicker on the Fiver's interest-o-meter.

- fuck-rate
The fuck-rate, already high in This Life 10 is approximately trebled for The Thick of It (BBC4). It's pretty much every other word; sometimes it splits a word in two, as in melafuckingnoma.

- joke-rock
In the last series of Rock School (Channel 4, Sunday), joke-rock legend Gene Simmons somehow managed to create a rock'n'roll band from the hallowed halls and manicured lawns of Christ's Hospital school.

- gadgetologists
He will be performing his gig in real, human form on February 3 while gadgetologists translate his words and movements into a 3D computer version.

- cam-phone
The People's Review, in which Katie Derham looked back at 2006 through viewer cam-phone footage, including, rather unfortunately from a scheduling perspective, people who had used the capture button to capture criminals.

- promo-tainment
Fanny Hill stars newcomer Rebecca Night as Fanny Hill, Alison Steadman as Mrs Brown and Hugo Speer as Mr H. The show was promoted heavily with promo-tainment segments showing behind-the-scenes footage for eight weeks before launch and a trailer shown on BBC1, BBC2 and BBC4 for two weeks beforehand

- thigh-sized
One moment you're rustling among the prickly leaves of your quartet of plants, looking for the first finger-sized, orange-flowered stick of speckled green to carry triumphantly to the kitchen; the next, you 're bundling armfuls of thigh-sized marrows hither and thither, wondering if they can be hollowed out to make umbrella stands.

- pingery
By God, Babel has a shot on him, he crashes a shot into Taylor's palms after some penalty-box pingery.

- alternate-week
The council is expanding a more common, if less popular, way of reducing landfill: alternate-week collections of rubbish and recycling.

- faux-democratic
Mind you, even the most bone-headed online debate is infinitely more sophisticated than any kind of public discourse you'll see on TV, particularly if you're watching the news and they've just invited their viewers to call in for some kind of faux-democratic Have Your Say segment, which inevitably functions in the same way as someone turning on a gigantic idiot magnet, given the sort of dribbling thicksicle it attracts.

- chatroom-monitoring
Responding to suggestions from traders and IT specialists, Reuters has also introduced a chatroom-monitoring system. For example, a group of commodity traders can set up their own virtual community, which shares a chatroom. Instead of checking the chatroom all day, a precious metals trader can tell Reuters Messaging to send alerts whenever key words such as "gold", "silver" or "platinum" are used.

- rumour-hungry
Reuters is poised to announce a partnership with Yahoo! that will give the news provider's rumour-hungry customers millions of potential new contacts through instant messaging.

- gagbook
Like many comedians, including Bob Monkhouse, he kept a gagbook to remind him of the exact phrasing that got the best reaction. He had one, tattered with use, by the ringside. The other was his fair copy. Both have been rediscovered by Ann Featherstone, a Manchester University lecturer, among the possessions of a friend of hers, Paul Newman. "In all my research, I have never seen anything like it," she said.The 200 gags in Lawrence's book poke fun at women.

- out-pedants
Nadal Nadal breaks! He found all sorts of angles that game and at 30 40 seals things with a searing cross-court forehand. "Simpson and anaesthetic? Dunlop and pneumatic tyres? Macadam and tarmac? Nobody charmless out-pedants me," insists Siobhan Cavanagh.

- combat-happy
There is an entire room devoted to papier-mache dinosaurs, as well as enough toy soldiers to keep a load of combat-happy kids amused.

- pre-lubricated
They were no slouches back in the days of Duran Duran, ET and the Kodak Disc camera either: original world champ Minh Thai was just 16 and had to use a brand new cube when he posted his time of 22 seconds. For today's competitors, they come pre-lubricated.

- sporks
Especially sporks - those bastard utensil hybrids ooze the old you that ate soggy couscous and shabby pasta salads at your desk.

- dance-fighting
We sipped caipirinhas , listened to bossa nova , and bought banana cakes from the banana cake lady , cheese kebabs from the cheese kebab lady and chicken kebabs from As the sunlight faded , the local capoeira club ( no-contact dance-fighting ) would begin their daily training , a show with more entertaining acrobatic moves than anything you'll see at the Olympics.

- sandsurfed
In the mornings, after gorging on more fresh fruit than you'd find on Carmen Miranda's head, we sandsurfed (on snowboards with Velcro bindings) down dunes before the sun and wind turned the desertscape into a massive convection oven.

The Celestial Brush is the game's other major departure, which allows you to paint out obstacles, slice up enemies and refoliate the game's desolate landscapes into a lush, flower-strewn paradise.

- non-delusional
She and the non-stupid, non-delusional, non-dangerous-to-her-mental-health Andrew have been together for over a month.

- coupleness
There's an intangible something that radiates from couples still conscious of their coupleness. When it's new enough for each person to be constantly aware of their special, entwined state, yet old enough for them to be entirely comfortable with it, the pair emits a kind of glow that, as I'm sure you know, is really quite tiresome.

- indie-hater
They embody the archetypes of the indie-hater hipster : new rave hoodies, the toe-curling appropriation of grime patois, shout-outs to MySpace and skinny jeans.

- waftiest
The waftiest of wafty plants, this dainty grass invites fondling. Apart from its tactile texture and therapeutic value, it lends a light and airy accent to any scheme.

- casino-driven
Ms Jowell will announce one of several options under consideration to get her package through, but not for several weeks, probably after the May 3 local election campaign, during which Labour will make much of Tory and Lib Dem perfidy in areas which hope to get the alleged benefits of casino-driven regeneration.

- micro-herbs
The pre-starter arrived in a whisky glass, and consisted of (deep breath): beetroot puree, citrus fruits, yoghurt, milk skin, gingerbread and micro-herbs, yet somehow all of these ingredients came together to taste like an Asda strawberry cheesecake.

- early-opening
Finally, for those who need refuelling , cycle couriers love Shlurp, an early-opening deli serving porridge behind the Hidden Gem church on East Brazennose Street. There are heaters outside so you can mind your bike as you breakfast.

- toddler-targeted
Others have their eye on the toddler-targeted show In the Night Garden from the team behind Teletubbies.

- over-saturating
What they've got to be careful of is over-saturating themselves in it all. For me, the worst thing about this town is having to go to a red carpet event. I could go to four every week but I do two a year.

- cartel-building
Meanwhile, pipeline-dependent producers such as Russia and Iran will try to speed up their cartel-building aims so they can squeeze out as much advantage as they can, while they can.

- overdescribed
Flanagan's righteous indignation can't blind him to the splendour of his setting. Like every writer who tackles the subject of Sydney, he accepts his obligation to say something new about the city's overdescribed iconic landmarks.
Neologisms: 2008
- skullcrushing
Their take on 70s hard rock tends more towards the Zeppelin end of things rather than the Sabbath: there are plenty of acoustic guitars alongside the cranked-up electrics, and even at its most skullcrushing there's a swagger and a swing a funkiness that, say, Kyuss never aspired to.

- super-handy
Honourable mention to Tokyo Art Beat ... which does a great job cataloguing events and reviews. Their super-handy "most popular" and "closing soon" pages do exactly what they say on the tin.

- re-included
A new Argos catalogue, with 18,500 products, is published tomorrow with prices of re-included products down an average of 4%.

- well-worth-it
He's the manager of gallery and creative hub Café Pause, and the author of the smashing superfuture pdf guide to Tokyo (which cost a well-worth-it $20).

- this-morning-I-had-breakfast
After hours of blogroll surfing and technorati bashing, dodging weirdo anime and hundreds of puzzlingly inane this-morning-I-had-breakfast blogs as I went, I think (and hope) we've come up with some winners.

- critic-artists
I've spent 10 years working as both critic and theatre practitioner. In that time, it's been suggested to me that the two roles are incompatible, contradictory even, and that I (alongside a small handful of other critic-artists) am parti pris, my neutrality compromised.

- ego-shaped
Beep beep! Michael Owen's little wheel-shaped legs may go a-trundlin' in the general direction of Manchester. HR FC are favourites to land the former star of the Direct Line telephone advertisements, though United are also interested. David Beckham will fill the massive ego-shaped hole thus left at Newcastle.

- interest-o-meter
With Davies floundering in his role as MC, just a few sides left in the drum and the early fixtures barely registering a flicker on the Fiver's interest-o-meter.

- never-sold
The problem with the first is that each car-boot pirate DVD (which I deplore: seriously, don't encourage those people) does not equate to a "lost" DVD sale. It's a never-sold DVD.

- mouth-fill
It's not just a matter of sinking either. Freediving is a highly technical discipline. "There are various phases to a dive," Campbell explains. "For the first ten metres, you're kicking down. Then I think about my mouth-fill, which is how you equalise the pressure, by opening and closing your oesophagus.

- widening-access
Far from there being "a stagnation in the number of pupils from low-income homes applying", the proportion of applicants from lower socioeconomic groups is increasing, and in the latest figures the positive trend continues. Is it enough? No, which is why the government so strongly supports the widening-access agenda. It is both a social and an economic imperative.

- new-folk
Seventh Tree's accompanying blurb depicts Goldfrapp and Gregory, secluded in Somerset, coming up with the notion of making a Wicker Man-influenced psychedelic folk album. This seems a bit much, given the legions of artists that have made Wicker Man-influenced psychedelic folk albums in recent years: walk into any new-folk club and you risk being deafened by the slap of twigs on Britt Ekland's bum.

- enormo-dome
U2 celebrate their alpha-plus-male status with the traditional belligerent euphoria in this 3 D concert movie; it was evidently performed at an enormo-dome in Buenos Aires, but for the first 10 or 15 minutes or so the cameras are so tight into the stage and its hi-tech backdrop that the band appear to be performing in a stadium-sized television studio.

- son-of-an-immigrant
Obama's son-of-an-immigrant story and tale of getting through education with the help of a scholarship resonate with Latinos.

- retro-rumor
This is actually a retro-rumor invented this morning ; a retro-rumor is a synthetic, anachronistic theory that, while untrue, sounds true to the type of person who could be persuaded that a new record called : Buona Serra, Meinen Herren : Andrea Bocelli Sings Kraftwerk had just arrived in stores.

- scat-jam
Teal's powerful jazz credentials are more to the fore on this album, however, notably in her light-stepping swing over a fast bass-walk on Cheek to Cheek, the Ella Fitzgerald scat-jam at the end, and the Cab Calloway hi-de-ho references in the finale of Moondance.

- intersectional
"Younger women want to speak, breathe, and live intersectional feminism the idea that social change emerges at the crossroads of race, class, gender, sexuality, ability etc. Some older women are stuck in a second-wave conception of feminism as wholly focused on gender and championing women no matter what the context or complexities."

- car-music
You wait years for a car-music spectacular and then two come along at once, rather like the Number 9 bus. No one has yet turned that into a timpani, but it can only be a matter of time.

- dance-brat
The picture's stars are 21 year-old Hollywood dance-brat Briana Evigan, who unleashes Sims's moves in the lowest-slung pants you've ever seen, and former New Adventures principal Will Kemp, who does a hilarious turn as a ballet-school headmaster with a poster of himself as Matthew Bourne's Swan in his office.

- book-influenced
Featuring books and book-influenced works by contemporary artists from Matisse to Damien Hirst, Blood on Paper: The Art of the Book is a beautiful morgue, where ranks of stylised books sit behind glass like crisp butterfly corpses pinned to velvet.

- super-mega
So, what of Europe where three "super-mega" carriers built around Air France-KLM, Lufthansa and BA may also emerge? Kroes told the French earlier this month that the EC blocked the Aer Lingus-Ryanair tie-up because it was bad for consumers but approved the AF-KLM deal because it was good for them.

- songtronica
The truth: It's not quite in the same league as Vulnerabilia, the astonishing 2002 debut album of wan songtronica by defunct Manchester duo My Computer ... but as digital melancholia goes, it's pretty good.

- puckhead
A sport fogged by deceptive euphemism. Lemieux, for example, is 'a pest', 'an agitator', nothing more hockey's excitement hides an appetite for destruction that is really rather startling. At the same time, it's actually quite thrilling. Saying that some of what happens on the ice can't be defended is not the same as pretending that its effects can be denied. Hockey is a game that derives its energies from both pluses and negatives, and so too do its fans. This moral duality (I condemn what that bloke just did there can't wait to see what kind of trouble it causes) is something every serious puckhead should wrestle with.

- re-icing
Flynn proposed re-icing the Arctic using 8,000 giant floating platforms that would draw salty water from the ocean and spray it on to winter ice, dramatically increasing its thickness. It would continue to do this in the summer, which would then melt the ice and send tonnes of salty water plunging into the Gulf Stream.

- lesbian-shaped
Total Global Nightmare Financial Apocalypse. It's all the papers are going on about apart from the Daily Mail, which has had a small lesbian-shaped bee in its bonnet recently about Cynthia Nixon and Jodie Foster respectively. For goodness' sake! It's just lesbians. Get over it!

- laugh-crazed
Lesson two: avoid heavy irony because it always rebounds. If you begin a review by saying "Anyone looking for a riotous, fun-filled, laugh-crazed extravaganza would do well to avoid the new musical version of Proust's A la recherche du temps perdu" is asking for trouble. Lesson three: don't report audience reactions.

- same-job-for-life
The welfare state, which had often served as a safety net for struggling workers, was decimated in many places. The mind-numbing assembly line, nine to five, same-job-for-life security against which so many had rebelled was abolished, only to be replaced by intense precariousness.

- cross-Midlands
Even cross-Midlands travel is difficult, making commuting to Birmingham relatively unattractive.

- nearliness
It was rather a tight fit during Andrew Murray's first match, with Henman, Andrew Castle (who was only nearly a nearly man) and the peerless John McEnroe all squeezed into a room in which there was not enough space to swing a wooden racket. But such was the fanfare surrounding Murray, who shows promise of nearliness, that no doubt only health and safety rules prevented the BBC from cramming in a fourth expert.

- people-spot
In Liverpool itself, make the pilgrimage to the Cavern Club to drink and people-spot (particularly Beatles-mad American golfers).

- chobble
At the opening hole I take an air shot (that is, miss the ball entirely), chobble one along the path, duff another, play my fourth from next to the women 's tee and tank it so far out of bounds that not even a Lancastrian would bother looking for it.

- half-haemophiliac
A sickly child, a 'half-haemophiliac', he was diagnosed with a heart defect, suffered frequent infections, and spent much of his childhood in confinement, with no company beyond books, and his own thoughts.

- recessionwear
The word coined at last season's men's shows was 'recessionwear': dull suits, half-hearted presentations and a general air of caution.

- word-roots
The result is a crazy, twisting travelogue, unstoppably digressive, overgrown with tangled word-roots, charged with faith in language and the natural world, outraged at globalisation, in love with the noble savage.

- Twenties-era
Gary Edgley, menswear buyer for Selfridges Wide-leg trousers There have been a lot of wide-leg, pleat-front, Twenties-era trousers this season.

- motor-porn
11th Three days of motor-porn begins at the Goodwood Festival of Speed. Damon Hill is among those who'll be heading out for a spin in a replica of his father's Indy 500 winning Lola and Lewis Hamilton will take on the famous 'hill climb' in his McLaren.

- handfiles
The Finns obtained small grinding machines with electric motors with which they patiently ground down their spikes. Peltzer asked the German officials to buy similar machines. They gave him a set of handfiles for the team.

- shockvertising
Imagine discovering a body lying on the floor with a bloodied knife protruding from a wound. And then, as you approach, perhaps already dialling 999 on your mobile in panic, the body rises and hands you a leaflet advertising a product. This is the latest in "shockvertising": the advertising industry's attempt to get the public to sit up and take notice.

- industry-accepted
The report recommended a host of measures including improving the shocking industry-accepted standard takedown time of 24 hours for the removal of child abuse. content.

"We don't want this sort of content on our site and our system is very efficient at removing it. Currently we review around half all flagged material within half an hour, and the majority within an hour. We make sure that if a video is removed copies cannot be reuploaded to the site."

It has the same sleepy-smiling, cigar-smoking, overweight and overwhelming gang boss, Saddam (Igal Naor), who swells to fill the screen.

How we wring our hands as we gorge on a Mail-full of close-ups of her messed-up face, beetle-black mushroom hair and blood-stained ballerina shoes, as Wino hangs out with dealers, dipsos and Doherty, croaks through another concert, punches a fan in the face, stacks on her high heels - all as just a prelude to her vast crack-pipe-sucking, boozing, cruising, losing Camden-based disaster streak.

Peking Youth Hostel Built around a flowerpot-filled courtyard, this hostel has a tardis-like sprawl of rooms lying behind the anonymous little front door.

He loaded the radio-controlled plane he got for his birthday with sweets. His inexperienced hand soon lost control of the aircraft and it dawned on him that it was on course to become another casualty of war. In a panic, he pressed the wrong button and inadvertently bombed or, more accurately, bon-bonned Gaza with his payload of sweets.

Rounder has a strong female roster, and though their fine New Orleans fiddler Amanda Shaw is mysteriously ignored, there's blues here from Madeleine Peyroux and the soulful Irma Thomas, along with country-bluegrass from the all-girl Uncle Earl, and folk from our own Linda Thompson.

Will tonight 's performance drain some of the Palinthusiasm from the party faithful?

The company claims to be the world leader in this this biomass-conversion technology, which has application in both next-generation biofuels and sustainable manufacture of high value chemical precursors for various polymer materials.

Pelamis has the first commercial-scale device for generating electricity from wave energy, to provide power to the grid. The device is a semi-submerged structure composed of cylindrical sections linked by hinged joints. The wave-induced motion of these joints enables hydraulic rams to pump high-pressure oil through hydraulic motors.

For the Anglocentrics take your pick. If your cup is always half-full, you will be cheered by further evidence that Australia are showing more signs of fallibility.

And thank you, Channel 4, for being kind enough to give us televisual yin and yang in the same week. After Britain's Got the Pop Factor, watching The Shooting of Thomas Hurndall made a bizarrely beautiful double-bill. I laughed, then I cried, then I craughed.

Joseph Pearce's is the latest of a number of Edinburgh café-bars run by a couple of friendly Swedish expats. From 11 am it's open for coffee and homemade cakes, before the serious drinkers take over later in the day (23 Elm Row, 0131 556 4140;

In the latest copy of Grazia magazine, there is an article about 'Fashorexics': women whose approach to the credit crunch is to skimp on food so they can still afford their designer wardrobes.

Britney also has a YouTube video channel, a social networking site, an email newsletter, and she's now on Twitter, too. Well, I guess that's Team Britney. I don't expect she's going to provide hourly updates on her hair/nails/knickers from her BlackBerry 8700, or whatever she uses now. (The Womanizer video features a naked Nokia 5800 XpressMusic touch-phone.)

In a fit of exuberant progressiveness, the school library buys the entire Booker Prize shortlist. In a fit of swottishness and teenage precocity, I read them all.

Miss Behave acts as a sort of commère. She blunders round the audience in a red PVC boob-popping dress.

I'll kick it off with Cher's Brielieve, and Kylie's Cheddar the Breville You Know.

For the first 30 or so entries, this animal-transport list was much as you'd imagine. Yak Kayak, Sheep Jeep. Nothing beyond the nearly semi-entertaining mental image of the animal somehow driving the transport.

We have hit a lot of it: little is in Baghdad; much is in the desert or on the edge of Baghdad. JP was at a briefing this morning which surveyed the wreckage. The targets are delivery systems not tanks of chemical-war material for obvious reasons.

Bash his head to hear Robert's pre-programmed set of loaded questions which you 're bound to get wrong because there is no right answer, then clasp his furry little electrode-filled paw for a shockingly vigorous handshake.

The Gillian McKeith Disgustipation Station Enjoy / endure a series of intrusive faecal examinations, colonic irrigations and ritualised humiliations in the privacy of your own home.

Great must have been the relief, therefore, of grindingly mediocre tune-molesters Boyzone, who were pictured fondling their little selves in China.

You know you've really made it as a supermegastar when someone fashions a small doll in your likeness.

If, on the other hand, no external examiner can attend, the examiners' meeting (sic) goes ahead. And as for awards-granting boards: not only am I not invited, but not welcome. The same applies to resit boards.

The Guardian's first ever Hack Day adhered to a format already proven elsewhere, starting with doughnuts and finishing with beer. In between, as is also traditional, there was an enormous amount of hacking, fiddling, greasemonkeying, hair pulling, learning, frustration, fun, laughter, pizza, chocolate, coffee and crisps.

Obamajamas: pyjamas differing from normal pyjamas I don't know how. Obamaland: a company establishing itself to flog educational publications and guides. And a t-shirt carrying the slogan Who's Yo'bama Now.

The film goes on to show Thompson railing vainly against the Nixon regime. In the background, however, we get just a glimpse of the simultaneous and rather more effective activities of those very un-Gonzo journalists, Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein.

The kids might have liked the Lindt Santa Claus made from 1 kg of chocolate, but at £29.99 that alone would bust my budget. Instead, I get them a deck of cards (99 p) and a National Geographic Kids magazine (£2.99. Sorry, kids, but we're going through a Credit Crunchmas.)

But without the daily barrage of a real media, covering the topics that actually matter, with the attention they deserve, the citizens are often clueless, and otherwise virtually powerless, in this wingnut-fed media world we 've allowed to be created around us.

Rather than revelling in sickening consumption in the name of a mythical hippy-like leader (who died for his own sins not ours), any self-respecting anarcho-punker should instead be following the shining example of Greek youth.

There were synthgirls (La Roux, Little Boots, thecocknbullkid, Lady GaGa, Envy, Charli XCX, GoldieLocks) and synthboys (Dan Black, Frankmusik), soul/not-soul divas (Jazmine Sullivan, Janelle Monae, VV Brown), new mashup kings (Girl Talk), and even a new Hold Steady (The War On Drugs).

Some competitors have worn two and even three suits in races to create a more streamlined body shape and guard against the stretched-tight material splitting.

It's just as easy to un-follow them if you change your mind.

The high cost of greening the buildings, the lack of wind and sun and concerns that the historic importance of the buildings could be compromised by the alterations all contributed to the decision to take more modest measures, which will include taking parliament partly off-grid with a biomass power station in the cellar and a borehole to supply fresh water to avoid the need for carbon-thirsty bottled water.

She can't quite afford to go to the places the yummy mummies do, but she exists in the same social sphere: consequently, the lynchpin of many a column or slummy-novel plot twist is how sworn-frenemy Joanna is boasting of a new holiday/car/designer dress that's just out of poor slummy's reach.

The same false comparison between domestic and uber-domestic occurs in the depiction of class - the slummy mummy's unspoken but obsessive preoccupation.
Neologisms: 2009
- home-college
Her role as the home-college link worker at Henry Cort community college in Hampshire is designed to give parents a sense of entitlement to know about what is going on in their child's schooling, and the chance to contribute their views.

- half-stops
Then a crunched off drive that Anderson half-stops but it still goes for four.

- frond-roofed
Daniel and Diego live on the muddy fringe of the farm in a hastily erected collection of palm frond-roofed huts to shield them and a hundred-odd other families from regular tropical downpours.

- eco-commercial
The business is branching out into eco-commercial buildings such as a new admin centre near Delhi in India, which will take much of its power and air-conditioning from a huge array of solar panels on its roof.

- superhero-talking
All of this is based on the assumption that CBT works - that it is the superhero-talking cure to psychoanalysis's tinkering janitor.

- thread-laced
Thus the stained book that contains the specimen of facial hair has corners that curl inward like dried lemon rind and a spine with fraying linen tendons, exposing the thread-laced signatures like rows of rope-bound bones Ryback has described a cadaver.

- school-flavoured
If you normally take the opportunity to lazily slide into an old tracksuit when a bank holiday rolls around and indulge in some old school-flavoured lounging about, then why not pledge to do something a little more vigorous this time and take your shell-suited self to Tayo's Tracksuit Party?

- draft-n
Chrome OS is optimised for the latest, draft-n version of Wi-Fi so it's assumed users can get that from their couch, or at work.

- snapping-eyed
Clive Francis's finely judged crusty hypochondriac isn't a scouser, but Leanne Best, niece of the Beatles' first drummer Pete, gives us the accent as a vivid, snapping-eyed maid.

- accomdations
Senate President Bob Burns, a Republican, said yesterday that the Republican party needs the space for caucuses and party meetings, and he will not find other accomdations elsewhere in the building or in the Old State Capitol building next door, the Arizona Daily Star reported.

- secretly-owned
The firm's multimillion-pound cash flows through secretly-owned entities in the British Virgin Islands and the Channel Islands were used to make secret payments to foreign middlemen and politicians.

- dump-medium
I hate to point this out, but your comment on the dump-medium chosen by RH's ex begs the question on what Smoothie Smyth's chosen method of heartbreak is says Marlon Cameron.

- improv-fusion
Sharkey (who also plays with Acoustic Ladyland saxophonist Pete Wareham in the Final Terror) is at the cutting-edge of contemporary improv-fusion guitar technique, colliding headlong free-jazz phrasing with roaring thrash metal riffs and ghostly electronics.

- farm-turned-winery
There are a few grand names such as La Motte - a charming old farm-turned-winery, worth a visit for the wine tastings (their shiraz stands out).

- spot-kicking
In the context of the result, his comeback could be called inconsequential, but there was a deeper resonance to his spot-kicking, his meaty tackling and the demonic intent he carried on to a field which England no longer dominate as they did in this century's opening years.

- child-turning-on-the-charm
This should be your best child-turning-on-the-charm voice.

- pub-cum-venue
Since then, they've hosted some memorable shows at this handsomely converted pub-cum-venue situated three miles south of the city centre, with tonight's headliners being the eight-piece, LA phenomenon known as Breakestra.

- deal-clutching
Present are cult folk collective Woodpigeon and dark, satirical, former 1m record deal-clutching wordsmith Murray Lachlan Young, fellow poet Aoife Mannix and accordionist Janie Armour.

- all-but-completely
It all-but-completely removes the loading times, which is important if you're fitting your missions into a short commute.

- desk-puppy
And I pretended to smile, because I really wanted him to give me the keys NOW NOW NOW, rather than offering him outside for his impudence, the floppy desk-puppy, but I suppose he had a point.

- anti-Liechtenstein
Apparently the Dutch PM berated Hillary in a corridor last night, and Gibbs says my administration is being accused of a blatantly anti-Liechtenstein foreign policy.

- get-around-town-mobile
Just as the mark of a good football referee is that you don't notice him, there is argument that what's required from a reliable get-around-town-mobile is that it doesn't bring attention to itself.

- techno-producer
In fact, we interrupt this fab parlour game to tell you that, when singer Baker and tech whiz Little were part of a techno-producer duo called Lil Devious, they sampled Japan's Adolescent Sex, prompting Karn to get in touch and invite them to remix his track The Jump - a Karn / BTN team-up is now on the cards.

- loo-books
You read the most incredibly sour attacks, on one style of parenting by another, in magazines and little loo-books that always used to be anodyne.

- sultry-sleek
Over in the States, some design sites scour Craigslist for icon bargains, sourcing cheap Le Corbusier sofas and sultry-sleek Barcelona chairs.

- courtroom-prison
The Associated Press was the first to disclose that the Obama administration is considering a combined courtroom-prison complex, saying it was regarded as the best among a series of bad options.

- town-cum-ghetto
Later this summer we'll witness the Soweto-like depredations inflicted upon reluctantly Earthbound aliens whose clapped-out spaceship has stalled in the sky above Johannesburg, South Africa, and who've been corralled into a dismal alien shanty town-cum-ghetto in the Peter Jackson-produced sci-fi thriller District 9.

- obsessive-natured
I mean I can't be that obsessive-natured, where I become self-destructive at times, with a kind of view of meeting expectations at all costs.

- modern-dance-makers
You can count on one hand the number of modern-dance-makers who have changed the landscape - and Pina Bausch was one of them.

- apple-bananas
We wanted to breakfast on just-picked mangoes, guavas and apple-bananas (little, stumpy bananas).

- property-dog
This is all very well, and the satisfying graphic of a demolition ball swiftly assuaged any guilt, whilst cementing my position as the top property-dog in Lancashire.

- mutualists
The sixth mass coextinction : Are most endangered species parasites and mutualists ?

- newly-merry
It gets even more complicated when one of his petitioners asks Pincus to stop his wife remarrying, leading to Pincus himself falling in love with the newly-merry widow.

- eyes-in-the-back-of-the-head
So, are the eyes-in-the-back-of-the-head skills of the classroom teacher just the springboard for life as a spy?

- stick-fetchers
Since Domenech also insists on clogging central midfield with two stick-fetchers, as Sir Alf Ramsey might have described Jeremy Toulalan and Aliou Diarra, France, like Giovanni Trapattoni's Ireland, usually only have four devout attackers on the pitch.

- charity-single
Which means two things : a) the definition of rebel has been rewritten to mean mediocre music proffered by personality voids and b) it's charity-single time.

- old-industry
What we get instead is a solid account of smart, nimble upstarts slaying old-industry behemoths and of flawed creative geniuses creating and destroying fortunes.

- pre-grey
Iain Aitch Tapping into the growth in the new breed of crafty types, pre-grey haired knitting addicts and arty printmakers, this modern craft fair is the perfect place to discover new talent and pick up some homemade bargains.

- bored-seeming
Turning up the collar of its suede Harrington jacket in the bus stop shelter, taking another swig of warm backwash-Martini, and trying really hard to impress some bored-seeming girls who want to go home, the Mill always knew it was different from the others.

- mid-exposition
I was in mid-exposition at this point, up to my elbows in the washing up, when my wife silenced me with one of her special stares.

- banker-class
Patrick Glenn Celtic's priority was simply to secure the victory that would keep them level on points with Rangers at the top of the Scottish Premier League, but extending their goal difference so extravagantly in the process was a banker-class bonus.

- mom's-eye
For those unable to stomach Sarah Palin's forthcoming mom's-eye view of high-stakes national politics Going Rogue, small US publisher OR Books has announced that it will bring out Going Rouge, an alternative view of the former Republican vice-presidential candidate, on the same day.

- guitar-fast
John Fordham Even in a jazz world rammed with guitar-fast double-bassists, McBride is exceptional - his sound is crystal-clear throughout the range, his lines springy and light.

- gold-ended
His gold-ended bag would not look wrong on Paris Hilton's shoulder.

- cheese'n'pineapple
Some of the jokes, it must be said, are as whiskery as Arthur Lowe (who also stars), but several episodes are gems of TV farce, as evocative of 1970s Britain as cheese'n'pineapple canapes.

- amphibian-inspired
According to Roland Boeuf, the 70-year-old president of the Confrererie de Taste-Cuisses de Grenouilles de Vittel, or (roughly) the Vittel Brotherhood of Frog Thigh Tasters, which has organised the event since its inception, the fair regularly draws upwards of 20,000 gourmet frog aficionados to the town for two days of amphibian-inspired jollities.

- unrooting
Maar survives her unrooting and her goring by the grappling bull Picasso, learns to delight in the vibrant colours he has given her, and is finally able to separate herself from the distorting vision that so cruelly exposed her pain Picasso's art is Picasso's art.

- bee-throbbing
You stand in a sun-dappled, bee-throbbing English churchyard, reading the graves.

- seriouser
106 mins Earnest, over-reverential biopic of the kung fu master who taught Bruce Lee - a mix of serious history and seriouser ass-whupping

- eco-touchy-feely
After the extremes of hype and backlash attending Cameron's solemn unveiling of a taster-trailer earlier this year, the film itself emerges as a watchable and entertaining if uncompromisingly ridiculous sci-fi spectacular, unable to decide if it wants to kick the ass of every alien in sight or get all eco-touchy-feely with them.

- non-humanists
Working with Dr James Hemming, his fellow humanist, who died in 2007 aged 98, Blackham ensured that the humanist voice was a feature of debates over moral values throughout the second half of the 20th century, and always sought to work with non-humanists to find solutions.

- cloud-scuffed
Dog-walkers stride over the wind-dried sand, light bounces off water beneath a cloud-scuffed sky and, although it's August, parts of the beach are deserted.

- basin-faced
It's hard not to see it as a sedate university-days version of the boisterous schooldays sitcom, not least because the two shows share an actor in basin-faced James Buckley.

- soup-stick
Don't worry it doesn't have to be a big flash one but could be an electric whisk, one of those little soup-stick things or even one of the old fashioned cog-driven ones.

- endurance-testingly
While Boyle's hit is a ballet of intoxicating motion, Hungarian director Béla Tarr's The Man From London (2007, 12, Artificial Eye 15.65) is endurance-testingly slow, with ponderously beautiful tracking shots conjuring a metaphysical netherworld in which greed and desire sparkle in the near Stygian gloom.

- rebate-on-the-rebate
At the time Mrs T conceded an increase in EU VAT receipts (from 1 % of the total to 1.4 and Tony Blair conceded a 20% rebate-on-the-rebate to block another French deadlock in 2005.

- dis-invested
But the presenter who dis-invested in the Corporation at just the wrong time now gets the chance to lift his own broadcasting stock with Jeff Randall Live (Sky News), a new business show on Mondays to Thursdays at 7.30 pm.

- planet-critical
Once the Con Air star had done The Light Box, the pair apparently talked about the future of creativity across the world a discussion which was arguably planet-critical.

- collection-less
In this context, I think that the collection-less Turner Contemporary, for all that I wish it well, is going to have to tread carefully.

- wind-lean
Now you read me like the moon moving hole at the end of a long night chimney And I see you wind-lean, ranged, Pendle-tree and broomstick No chance that you would go unsung for who else rode my mind, hag-light seasoned and yet so welcome

- glam-kissed
Alongside Vince's morally nauseating agent Ari Gold (Jeremy Piven), their progress has taken them from the intoxicating heights of glam-kissed fame to the brink of catastrophe.

- recession-dampened
Tate Modern has opted for the austere work of Polish artist Miroslaw Balka for its major Turbine Hall commission, avoiding the funfair-like installations of recent years in these recession-dampened times.

- industrial-food
My wife and I would love to do better than Whole Foods - to buy most of our food from local farmers, and to leave the industrial-food system altogether.

- auto-braking
This combined with auto-braking makes the game incredibly accessible for amateurs.

- ex-Tomorrow's
I'd practically forgotten this ex-Tomorrow's World presenter and science correspondent ever existed, but seeing him again brought memories flooding back.

- movie-cum-chronicle
Brendan Canty, Christoph Green Fine road movie-cum-chronicle of Wilco's 2008 US tour, the glossy live footage broken up by suitably gnomic band interviews, plus moody footage of wide open spaces and knackered Americana.

- razor-handed
After all, if you were an evil, razor-handed, rape-produced child murderer from beyond the grave with extensive burns to your face and torso, it's unlikely that you'd have the sunny disposition to keep on making waggly-eyebrowed wisecracks about everything.

- quadruple-Grammy-nominated
The doughty purveyor of worthy but slightly dull conscious rap, the wild psychedelic innovator of 2002's artistically triumphant but commercially disastrous Electric Circus, and the new model Lonnie Rashid Lynn born of the happy union with fellow Windy City wordsmith Kanye West on 2005's quadruple-Grammy-nominated Be.

- liberty-celebration
So the paradox is that it is widely agreed that we need a day of British-liberty-celebration, and yet we are all embarrassed by the version of liberty-celebration in the folk festival that does exist.

- monster-wave
This accessible, indie-spirited documentary presents the intriguing case of obscure Irish-Hawaiian surf pioneer George Freeth, then returns to the motherland for some monster-wave action.

- non-ex-pat
I live in Italy so I may be out of touch, but my impression is that even you non-ex-pat Brits are eating dinner a lot later than the (in retrospect) surreal 5.45 pm timeslot of my Bristolian youth.

- spandex-driven
Devlin's unique brand of spandex-driven sleight of hand has to be seen to be believed.

- chirpy-off-set
Here's to you, you chirpy-off-set little Cockney sparrer

- studio-factory-home
While Pride cutlery is still manufactured in Mellor's superb studio-factory-home at Hathersage, in the Derbyshire Peak District, it has been complemented by other ranges redolent of other values: Provençal (1973) and Chinese Ivory (1975) are characteristic of their decade (the acetal resin handles of the latter speak volumes about the spirit of the age), but in the 1980s, Mellor's cutlery design returned to a more characteristic, voluptuous simplicity.

- poverty-affected
If you had told a local grape grower 20 years ago that a wine from this wild, isolated, poverty-affected corner of Spain would fetch such a sum in 2009, he would have died of shock, or possibly laughter.

- round-specced
Our instructor, Caroline Jupp, faced with whupping a gaggle of architecture students, round-specced design junkies and a recalcitrant Corb-loather (me) into shape, has a whistle and a bunch of colourful flags, which she asks us to hold above our heads while marching on the spot

- milk-fattened
We went on gastronomic trips round Italy, feeding each other scorpion fish in Brescia and milk-fattened veal in Piedmont.

- eyebrowlessness
At a time when advertising is suffering, is eyebrowlessness just a more extreme way for a brand to sell its products?

- gastro-crisps
Clever pubs offer gastro-crisps which are cooked in goose fat and actually have a higher profit margin than the meal itself.

- classic-tasting
As strangely exotic as the ingredient list might seem, it all pulls together to make for a wonderfully fragrant and surprisingly classic-tasting Christmas ham.

- remutualisating
The government is being lobbied by the Building Societies Association, politicians and academics to consider remutualisating Northern Rock as an alternative to a private sale or stock market flotation once the bank is strong enough to survive without state support.
Neologisms: 2010
- anti-ageing-cream
It actually benefits models now, she suggests, to inflate their ages a bit, especially when pitching for anti-ageing-cream jobs.

- skagging
My colleague John Ashdown has helpfully come up with several definitions of what on earth being skagged is, not to be confused with skagging or the intriguing skagget.

- not-very-ordinary
A not-very-ordinary boy at all, as it turns out.

- skin-rebuilding
Combat visible lines around the eye area with this powerful firming complex of skin-rebuilding antioxidant vitamins, protective silicones and red seaweed extract.

- harmony-saturated
After a surprisingly messy and punchy rendition of Southern Point things mellow with the langorous, harmony-saturated Cheerleader.

- gusset-waggling
The Daily Mail, predictably, reacted to this pageant of pre-watershed gusset-waggling with paroxysms of moral hand-wringing, conveniently illustrated with pictures of waxed, half-naked 20-year-olds.

- finger-waggy
It sounds as if you have tried to talk to him about drugs but in a rather accusatory, finger-waggy way.

- post-Dutch
Not only because of constraints such as the fact that most of the names previously mentioned are tied to millionaire contracts or the lack of time to appoint a successor to Dunga, since Brazil will play their first post-Dutch debacle friendly on 10 August, against the USA in New Jersey.

- time-and-phrasing
James has the smoother, more stately delivery, with Kerr pushing the time-and-phrasing envelope more - but the contrast between them enhances what's fundamentally a down-the-line mainstream-to-bop set, and though their harmonies occasionally have a faintly dated, Swingle Singers cosiness, the pair's skills and obvious enthusiasm for the venture and each other radiates warmth.

- poet-pics
You'd be entitled to ask for your money back if you didn't hear a bit of poetry in poet-pics such as Bright Star or the forth coming Howl (and if Allen Ginsberg looked anything like James Franco, who plays him, I'll eat my Pocket Poets edition, which I only bought because it featured as a gag in the werewolf movie The Howling).

- politics-related
So politicised is Venezuela that half of the top 10 Twitter accounts are news or politics-related.

- scale-friendly
In the 1960s, the ethnomusicologist Hugh Tracey developed a new, western scale-friendly version of the kalimba, which was mass-produced and sold in American toy shops.

- makeup-dusted
Highlights include Karla Black's vulnerable, makeup-dusted sculpture, Spartacus Chetwynd's handmade animal costumes and Barry Reigate's riotous pop art collage, Real Special Very Painting.

- split-microsecond
Bursts of speed, nutmegs, split-microsecond changes of direction, hip shaking that would earn him an 11 from Craig on Strictly Come Dancing, a 50-50 challenge that makes Roy Keane look like Rodney Marsh, and an unerring lash into the bottom corner : this was immense.

- mis-copied
But the defectors mis-copied the formula.

- mirror-lights
Oddly, though, I feel I'm seeing her more naked than ever: half-covered in wrap and towel, but with hairnet turning her bald, just beginning her make-up before harsh little mirror-lights, pale and vulnerable and 53.

- three-steps-sideways
Even though it's still a one-step-forwards / two-steps-back / three-steps-sideways journey there's a momentum in play.

- neoconned
New Labourites weren't the only politicians to be neoconned or to be vulgarly infatuated with US power and wealth - the present education minister was among the busiest retailers of neocon fables.

- anti-Watkins
This anti-Watkins campaign was intended to galvanise the white Sun vote against him.

- shogunate's
Only the highest Dutch officials are permitted to cross the bridge to the mainland ; the Japanese authorities closely monitor their subjects' interactions with the Europeans, and under the shogunate's policy of seclusion, it's a capital crime for any Japanese person to leave the country.

- not-quite-legal
Exploiting the new climate of deregulation, Doug employs various not-quite-legal methods, including creating a holding company whose sole purpose is to facilitate lending across the house from the company's commercial to its investment arm.

- thread-vein
After a stunningly good lunch of przysmak soltysa at Chata, the first restaurant to cater to Northampton's large Polish community, I walked past the facial tuck clinics and thread-vein treatment centres.

- soul-grooving
Amsterdam, with Kühn and the majestic French bassist JF Jenny-Clarke, is a highlight, as are two tracks for a quintet featuring Whitehead, and the almost 25-minute live set Cozy'n'Rozy, featuring McGregor and a soul-grooving Pine.

- cow-bison
A relatively recent new food animal, the beefalo a cow-bison (buffalo) hybrid, combines the superior hardiness, foraging ability, calving ease and low-fat meat of the bison with the fertility, milking ability and ease of handling of the cow.

- publicity-fed
This is not what Sony or the publicity-fed sycophants who blog about awards season expected.

- medal-ride-offs
Even so, their 43.802 was briefly the fastest time and guaranteed them a place in one of the medal-ride-offs, with only the French and German teams still to ride.

- balloon-puncturing
Canada is a balloon-puncturing country.

- long'd
And now Childe Harold was sore sick at heart And from his fellow bacchanals would flee Tis said, at times the sullen tear would start But Pride congeal'd the drop within his e'e Apart he stalk'd in joyless reverie And from his native land resolved to go And visit scorching climes beyond the sea With pleasure drugg'd he almost long'd for woe And e'en for change of scene would seek the shades below

- infocapitalist
Coulson is not just good at his job, he has the advantage of having an extensive network inside NI, Britain's most powerful infocapitalist.

- pre-evolutionary
Called Ichthyosaurus, these fossil creatures seemed to have been cobbled together out of equal parts fish and crocodile, and even during this era of pre-evolutionary palaeontology, de la Beche and Conybeare could not help but place Ichthyosaurus in what they believed to be a graded series of forms between fish, the newly discovered Plesiosaurus, and crocodiles.

- sightseer-jammed
None of the romance was dimmed by the 21st century's inevitable contribution - a far brighter river of car headlights on the sightseer-jammed B6318, the old military road that flanks the frontier.

- cello-collaborator
Tonight in Cheltenham, comic and free-improv fan Stewart Lee curates an eclectic Parker-centred show, including John Zorn cello-collaborator Okkyung Lee and New York trumpeter Peter Evans.

- pre-prog
Laden with sitars, backwards guitars and lyrics about resting your head on a rainbow and wiping a flower from your eye, SF Sorrow is very much of the pre-prog 60s, which probably accounts for the differing fortunes of the two albums.

- ever-hapless
He's just waltzed past Matthew Upson and popped the ball past the ever-hapless Robert Green, to put Stoke 1-0 up at Upton Park with 21 minutes to play.

- wimper-ish
It was a bit of a wimper-ish way to go down.

- cable-drama-by-numbers
The show might be a bit of a bawdy cable-drama-by-numbers, but the titles have a swaggering brilliance.

- shot-laden
Small, cheeky, popular and multi-skilled, he would drink all night without getting drunk then wipe sleep from his eyes to make a shot-laden century.

- carnage-harrowed
Ricketts's approach successfully shows that the poetry of the war did not simply emerge from the carnage-harrowed minds of individual poets, but through mutual encouragement and rivalry.

- television-buying
A flurry of pre-World-Cup television-buying failed to boost overall high street sales this month and there are warnings that retailers will face more harsh times ahead as George Osborne's tough budget dampens consumer spending.

- sextastically
Whenever Gudrun Ensslin, in The Baader-Meinhof Complex, starts a sentence with 'We know that Mao said' you know that her rapt audience of ex-mental patients and disaffected students will hang on her every idiotic word (perhaps because she's played by the sextastically dead-eyed Johanna Wokalek).

- internet-paranoid-conspiracy
I find that kneejerk, internet-paranoid-conspiracy thing a bit annoying, so I suppose my devil's advocate side wants to poke them in the eye a bit.

- khaki-skirted
Women with identical black bobs and khaki-skirted uniforms carried machine guns; sailors marched in blazingly white jackets.

- dragon-tattooed
A prominent official and two of the magazine's researchers working on a sex-trafficking story, are found dead and the finger of suspicion points to Mikael's old ally Lisbeth (Noomi Rapace), the dragon-tattooed badass babe who is quite clearly being fitted up.

- un-soporific
This month's opening section looks at movies and documentaries about scientists, mixing classics like Frankenstein with obscurities like Truffaut's L'Enfant Sauvage, Topol as Galileo and The Great Moment, Preston Sturges's un-soporific story of the Boston dentist who discovered anaesthetic.

- points-spending
One criticism I've heard a few times of Fallout 3 was from FPS fans that did n't like the VATS system, which essentially reduced the skill of shooting into a more RPG-like, points-spending affair.

- non-end
It's a clever postmodern non-end in which things just kind of go on.

- non-climate
I fear he is referring the to 40 individuals - many retired non-climate scientists - who put in sceptical written evidence.

- half-alludes
Spookily, the title of the series even half-alludes to its topical appeal: pronounce it Downturn Abbey.

- biodiversity-themed
From biodiversity-themed plays and workshops to living buildings and riverbed cleanups, here is our top 10.

- demographically-weighted
But now, the latest of these polls from Pink News (which has its own demographically-weighted voter panel) is showing a 30-point collapse in Tory support over the last 10 months.

- microphone-wagglers
He carried it off very well, remaining reassuringly bulbous and bruiser-like in his swivel chair, a central pin around which ITV's rag-tag band of pundits and microphone-wagglers were effectively skewered together: pre-ceremony we got a glimpse of the excellent Jim Rosenthal, anaesthetised with jaw-clenching excitement and flanked by the left-field selection François Pienaar.

- ever-scarier
Like newspapers peddling ever-scarier headlines, it is having to work harder to justify its existence.

- nothingness's
If evil is the pursuit of nothingness for nothingness's sake, then, he argues, it is not often found so is not something we should lose too much sleep over.

- style-expert
As it turns out, Cameron's daring has been admired, even by the notoriously exacting style-expert, Stephen Bayley.

- chimneytops
The BBC producer Don Haworth made Fred Dibnah: Steeplejack, which showed him demolishing chimneys with aplomb, climbing up ladders and swinging himself on to small wood platforms across chimneytops with ease.

- twice-Nobel
His early schooling at the Downs Quaker preparatory school, Colwall, Worcestershire, overlapped with the future twice-Nobel laureate Fred Sanger.

- spotlight-stealing
Landon Donovan America's best player was said to be so disgruntled by David Beckham's spotlight-stealing arrival in the US league in 2007 that he contributed to a grubby tell-all book about his LA Galaxy teammate.

- gilt-handled
One such success was a gilt-handled feather duster with mink tails.

- sub-Love-Story
It isn't even the sub-Love-Story gender stereotypes: a woman falling for a man with Parkinson's would of course be unthinkable.

- battercake
A vanilla sponge with a hint of rosewater; a shallow almond torte with domes of apricot peeking through the crust; a blueberry battercake or perhaps a Swiss roll with a filling of cream rippled with crushed raspberries.

- pro-style
He's more of a pro-style fighter, trying to hurt his man rather than cuff a point here and there.

- turkey-strangling
It is turkey-strangling time at the Grundys' and Ed and Wilyum are at each other's throats amid the disconsolate warbling of the doomed birds and the fog of feathers.

- unslushy
A beautiful, smooth-toned but unslushy performance of George Butterworth's The Banks of Green Willow proved this ; a spirited, superbly paced rendition of Bernstein's Symphonic Dances from West Side Story underlined it.

- mega-economies
All this is not to ignore the structural problems in both of these mega-economies, or the world economy as a whole.

- essay-fictions
Robinson in Ruins is the third of Keiller's feature-length essay-fictions to deposit his eccentric protagonist among the relics of millennial England, where he functions once more as the comically half-deluded conduit for the director's own brand of visionary scholarship.

- rag-strewn
There are many doors, and behind each one is a tiny room with a barred window, and just enough space for a rag-strewn double bed where the girls take their customers.

- chortleworthy
Your Chamberlain quip was chortleworthy and indeed valid and all that - but last week's unconditional collapse compounded with this first half's pittance of a performance has me comparing Lyon more with the Romans, i.e. hundreds of miles away from even reaching Munich.

- horse-boy
He was little better than a pet horse-boy at Blackfriars an old showman and hawker of plays an out-and-out stupid, illiterate, third-rate play actor

- reader-provided
The demonstrations are interesting enough, though if you want to go and see HTML5 examples, then we'll pass on the (reader-provided) suggestion of HTML5 Watch, which links to examples of work that don't bully you into downloading particular browsers: a post by the Art of Web works fine with its demonstrations of transitions in Chrome, for example.

- mini-mandate
He pondered his electoral mini-mandate.

- work-best
Making its way through the dust-caked metropolitan boulevards of London's unfashionable back bit of Kings Cross, dressed in its work-best outfit of shrunken jumble sale Gola tracksuit bottoms, midriff-baring vintage My Little Pony hoodie and partially functional platform Heelies, the Fiver finds itself all too often greeted by men in shiny cars eager for the Fiver to accompany them back to an executive suite at the Stanmore Regency and call them uncle while doing the floor-sweeper to the music of Jedward.

- cycle-launching
Looking around me at this point during the London Philharmonic's season-opening, Mahler cycle-launching performance under Vladimir Jurowski, I noticed almost everyone was wearing the same expression : open-mouthed but with fully alert, searching eyes.

- conscribed
Some aspects of writers' characters: Milan Kundera, glamorous annoyance; Jim Thompson, weirdo; O Henry, relic of a less conscribed literary culture.

- adman-turned-film
I was disappointed that the humiliating tennis game in Money (BBC2, Sunday), between lardy British adman-turned-film director John Self and his toned and tanned American agent Fielding Goodney, wasn't overlooked by glassed-in balconies, with New York's middle management staring on, their faces as thin as credit cards.

- gastro-hamlet
In a move which the cynics are already comparing to Rick Stein's panjandrum control of Padstow, Blumenthal has bought a second pub in the gastro-hamlet of Bray.

- experimental-fiction
They were often very funny, and not just in the usual experimental-fiction way.

- castle-hungry
The film does in fact have a white, blonde bona fide princess - our heroine's childhood pal - but she's a castle-hungry ditz; dim best friend material, not leading lady stuff.

- lady-nose
A too-delicate lady-nose perches incongruously in the midst of his butch, chunkily cheekboned face.

- character-growth
It has a compelling sweep, and, for a relatively short feature, an expansive, ambitious sense of character-growth.

- post-sunbathing
I know why he likes me in colour - it's because I only ever wear it post-sunbathing, when I'm probably at my happiest and most easy-going.

- so-far-undiscovered
However based on the fact that new species - like recent discoveries - are likely to be found in biodiversity hotspots where there are huge numbers of endemic species which are not widely distributed around the world, and a high level of habitat loss, they estimated that all so-far-undiscovered flowering plants were also at risk.

- come-out-of-nowhere
For an unknown, come-out-of-nowhere label it has serious clout: this time, Natalia V and a clutch of top girls on the runway, Naomi Campbell front row.

- wracked-sounding
Yoko Ono's Listen Snow Is Falling; a surprisingly wracked-sounding version of the Rutles' Cheese and Onions.

- intellect-wise
My guess is that, since he's spent so much of his life meeting people who aren't as clever as him, the aliens are - intellect-wise - his last-chance saloon.

- time-tests
Left for weeks during time-tests, residing in stoppered bottles on the wooden counters of Gettler's lab, blood solutions tainted by carbon monoxide glowed like the crimson hourglasses on a black widow spider, like warning lights signalling danger to those who got too close.

- semi-fastened
You didn't see her slippers, the Velcro-ed maroon velvet flaps semi-fastened over toes curled by 12 years of Parkinson's disease.

- motive-obscuring
Instead of smashing Millbank windows and dropping fire extinguishers on police below, the latest student protests against university fee rises has had a more civilised and less motive-obscuring vibe, typified by the trio you see above.
Neologisms: 2011
- stopper-warrior
His talent for wrapping the whole England narrative around his neck is undeniable, and Capello seems powerless to stop it, chiefly because he has bought into the idea of the English stopper-warrior.

- arty-fashion
This season there are also various arty-fashion hook ups of note: Cindy Sherman appearing in a campaign for MAC cosmetics, Nan Goldin shooting for Jimmy Choo, Acne teaming up with artist Daniel Silver to create a range of clothes.

- pre-degree-level
The UKBA's intended target are private pre-degree-level colleges that have lower entry requirements and less independent scrutiny of language skills.

- pissedness
On our way one Saturday evening, we passed two blokes heading for the stairs in that particular state of total, glassy-faced, marinated pissedness you get only from drinking steadily all afternoon.

- financially-muscled
Chelsea are also sniffing around Udinese's 35m-rated Alexis Sanchez, having held preliminary talks with the player's representatives last week, though Manchester City are ready to provide financially-muscled competition.

- ditch-challenge
City were never likely to fade entirely, though, and a last ditch-challenge from Gareth McAuley foiled Agüero in the 65th minute when he seemed set to score.

- freaky-squeaky
Enter Melesha O Garro aka Lady Leshurr, a 23-year-old Midlander armed with a freaky-squeaky voice and an arsenal of metaphors she tends to fire at listeners like the spawn of Missy Elliot and Minnie Mouse wielding a cartoon gun.

- dual-degree
In 2010, we created a dual-degree in Journalism and Computer Science with the The Fu Foundation School of Engineering.

- proof-marked
Though there was much more to him than this bitter nihilism suggests - he was always funny, for example - it is true that his accounts of our ruined world grew ever more fugitive and vestigial, book by book, until the last poem in each volume often all but disappeared from the page, worn out like a faded fax, or slumped to its foot in a shrunken font, or was parenthesised, or even proof-marked to be deleted.

- expedition-quality
I have been a Traction Man admirer ever since he arrived on the picture book scene, and in Traction Man and the Beach Odyssey by Mini Grey (Cape 10.99), here he is in summer mode, looking jazzy and packing the essentials (including Great Scott expedition-quality mint cake for his hols).

- high-keys
A contrastingly jumpy theme of racing percussion and organ chords broken by dead halts was followed by a whistling, high-keys melody, a spooky, shivering synth drone against ominous low percussion, and an evocatively hymnal and richly orchestral passage that became a vehicle for the gleaming trumpet lines of Mathias Eick.

- bird-flinging
But for a burgeoning stratum of app developers, there's no sense in the old school model of producing long-form Triple A titles for the retail market - not while a bird-flinging game created by a team of Finnish students can do 100m downloads and get them over 40m in VC funding.

- log-handled
Ned Ludd wears its philosophy on its plaid-shirted sleeve: a quick glance at the restaurant's many rustic design details - piles of logs for the wood-fired oven, copper pots, pottery chickens, hessian food sacks stitched together to form a curtain, log-handled beer pumps, the odd axe lying around - lets you know right away you're in for something homely, farm-centric and fresh.

- neocreationists
A key concern of American neocreationists is to 'Teach the controversy'.

- cheested
So now, as well as cult vocabulary such as' Moloko' for milk, fans also have phrases like cheested up for getting clean, or Zemolchy, which is an exclaimation of delight or wonder.

- knicker-flash
Originally a stand-alone solo, this dance is a cornerstone Rosas work, and devotees parse every choreographed glance, hair touch and - very much a De Keersmaeker trope this - unsmiling knicker-flash.

- antiquity-minded
The object I liked best was a match safe a decorative matchbox inscribed with the letters BILST / UM / PSHI / SM / ARK, which appear on a stone in The Pickwick Papers to confuse and excite an antiquity-minded Mr Pickwick, though they turn out to have been written by an illiterate.

- sex-reality
Only a tiny minority of men and boys are unable to tell the difference between the cues of the sex-fantasy lexicon, and those of the sex-reality lexicon.

- binarisation
It is the increasing binarisation of society that computerisation has produced: Yes / No, Like / Don't Like, Left / Right, Democrat / Republican, Accept Friend / Not Now, Atheist / Religious.

- wheelchair-skills
Then one afternoon I went along to a wheelchair-skills session at Stoke Mandeville hospital, organised by a charity called The Back Up Trust.

- offisie
Poles in Britain talk about being klinerzy w offisie (office cleaners) or bilderzy (builders), but such transliterations have so far proved too alien to survive long on Polish soil.

- tribally-divided
The high court case this week will complicate life in tribally-divided Kenya, too.

- loyalist-originated
Of course for the residents of the Short Strand, who were the main victims of the loyalist-originated violence, the assaults on their homes were terrifying and traumatic.

- glass-ceiling-smashing
At some point over the past decade, the aesthetic of the 50s office has overlaid that of the glass-ceiling-smashing 80s as our touchstone for office chic.

- prog-grind
In the circumstances, the fact that a few hundred heads nod in time to the maddeningly complex intro to Living Is a Problem Because Everything Dies, or the overdriven Bond-theme prog-grind of That Golden Rule is an actual cause for celebration.

- science-fiction-thriller
Before Stuxnet the possibility to attack a control system using cyber was explored theoretically but was more seen as in the realm of cinema and creative science-fiction-thriller writing.

- habit-engendering
Internet wagering is - or has the potential to be - the most concentrated, most habit-engendering gambling environment known to humankind.

- ex-compadres
Presenter Anne McElvoy, who was at Oxford with Gove, Cameron, Vaizey et al, interviewed her ex-compadres about Thatcher, the miners' strike and music.

- sewage-management
As expected, however, the Mexican authorities were incensed by the implied criticism of their sewage-management capabilities.

- conveniently-sited
We would all like a nice playing field in our village, just as we would all like a good rail service to the nearest town, a conveniently-sited post office and so forth.

- bird-houses
They were all on the way south for the season he said sadly so don't take out the bird-houses or build bird cafeterias in the trees.

- uncankered
Because country music is a joy and keeps the last uncankered corner of my soul alive.

- nightevent
He said officers were aware of there had been a large number of people in attendance inside the club and that police were working with the club, the organisers of the nightevent, local authorities and the emergency services to piece together exactly what had happened as part of their investigation into the incident

- freedom-yearning
Asked during an appearance on CBS if there had been an intelligence failure or a misunderstanding, he pointed to a failure to realize that a sophisticated, educated, freedom-yearning people, sooner or later, were going to demand their rights.

- modishess
There's something about Rossini he said after the final rehearsal that gives you a sense of the ideal Italian character type - his measured elegance, his modishess, his exhibitionism though of course nowadays most of these qualities are on display in the work of clothes designers, not musicians.

- slender-leg
And yes, Simons does wide-leg trousers, but he also does the best fitting slender-leg suit trousers I have ever seen on a catwalk.

- buttock-numbingly
This version of Top Gear will never be as buttock-numbingly dull as old Quentin Wilson-era Top Gear, but it's a shadow of the show it was four or five years ago.

- post-legal
The pillars of the post-legal world we all inhabit still remain.

- pre-procurement
Public bodies will have to give greater consideration to economic, social or environmental wellbeing during the pre-procurement stage of any contracts.

- fibre-stained
Most end up agreeing with the skin specialist to whom he first took samples of his fibre-stained cotton: his sores are self-inflicted and he suffers from delusions of parasitosis (DOP), a psychiatric condition in which people falsely believe themselves to be infested.

- spicy-food-fearing
Merton is an enjoyable travel presenter, not least because his stick-in-the-mud, spicy-food-fearing persona is probably the secret essence of every British traveller abroad.

- heroes-cum-captors
The final sequence, in which our heroes-cum-captors are comprehensively perforated, leaves us alone with the consequences of our misguided empathy, and the knowledge that we threw in our lot with the wrong crowd.

- un-Bell-like
At Old Trafford Bell walked off in a state of some exasperation after an ugly, un-Bell-like innings spent trying to muscle the ball around in the closing overs.

- uber-headmaster
He is the "uber-headmaster", free schools are accountable to him.

- knobbly-stick-waving
In his increasingly rare moments of clarity, the Fiver's drink-addled, pig-toting knobbly-stick-waving Irish cousin Theme Pub O'Fiver has a theory about Shay Given from the County Donegal.

- not-quite-epaulettes
West Ham are wearing their usual home strip, United's players are kitted out in white shirts with red not-quite-epaulettes on their sleeves, black shorts and black and red socks.

- fast-shuffling
The edges, of course, were more audible throughout Bates's gig, with his fellow Anglo-Danes - bassist Petter Eldh and drummer Peter Bruun - unleashing a restless undercurrent of deft countermelody, fast-shuffling grooves, free-time and explosive accents under the leader's radically bent Parker themes and flying improvisations.

- clown-comedy
There, he learnt the key to clown-comedy: How to feel comfortable with being an idiot.

- black-laquered
Eventually, she broke down the pleasant bloke who wanted a fun, Sopranos theme, and presented the family with a black-laquered zoned family room that resembled the lobby of an international hotel chain.

- nu-new-disco
So nu-disco is actually kind of nu-new-disco.

- mis-negotiation
Clegg is obviously trying to regain political ground, among party activists and the wider electorate, lost during 18 months as junior coalition partner, culminating in David Cameron's clumsy summit mis-negotiation in Brussels, which gave the Tories a brief but unsettling boost in the opinion polls.

- putting-down-of-the-popcorn
This putting-down-of-the-popcorn made me wonder if watching plays in this way might in turn change the way we watch films: with more attention and sense of audience.

- park-dweller
Did the world really need Yogi Bear (2010, Warner, U), a new live action-digimation incarnation of the long-running cartoon about a collar-and-tie-wearing park-dweller and his endless search for pic-a-nic baskets?

- brand-averse
You could argue that AR users are unlikely to be as brand-averse as the Second Lifers were, and you can also point to efforts by the AR startups to quickly bring down the cost and complexity of creating content to be viewed in their apps.

- multiple-attributed
To which it remains only to add that the film's primary flaws lie in the multiple-attributed screenplay, which bears all the hallmarks of having been rewritten by committee and never comes close to making good on Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman's promise to write Unforgiven with aliens.

- triages
In other words, things like Devon's MASH (multi agency safeguarding hub, which is a cross-discipline service that triages incidents involving vulnerable children) will raise the demand for more connected systems and this in turn will lead to demand for connected infrastructure.

- all-too-earnestly
Brooklyn Bowl stays relatively busy around the clock, with sweaty locals semi-ironically competing for strikes among the 16 green-certified lanes by daylight, and all-too-earnestly competing for hook ups on the disco-ball-lit dance floor come nightfall.

- post-Christchurch
My mental what-if earthquake plan, formulated post-Christchurch, was put into full effect.

- paraparesis
Newly qualified Ashurst corporate lawyer Arunima Misra, who has a permanent physical disability called paraparesis which affects the muscles in her legs, says firms often don't realise that it is only the very confident people with disabilities who apply to them.

- forced-removals
Up to 50 passengers heading to Sri Lanka on a UK Border Agency forced-removals flight risk being tortured on their return, human rights organisations have warned.

- microdogs
Quite apart from the fact that almost everyone in the film seemed to have at least 10 of everything, from microdogs to microdonkeys, a bog standard microdog will set you back 800, while a top-of-the-range one costs 10,000.

- smirkgate
And then there's smirkgate. Merkel and France's premier Nicolas Sarkozy (or Merkozy, as they are now known) seemed a little dismissive of Silvio's seriousness as the press conference on Sunday.

- gym-goer's
Nobody would ever say this to a gym-goer's face, because it would be rude and unnecessary.

- semi-perky
At Argos, Duddy had expected January and February to be semi-perky since the same months last year had been a snow-bound hell for retailers.
Neologisms: 2012
- oompah-brass
Added to that, it's got oompah-brass, cor-blimey vocals, Damon Albarn's pleased-with-himself lyrics and a video seemingly set inside Alex James's head.

- wing-shuffle-disappointment
Nani, who occasionally plays in the Capital One Cup and every six months or so scores a really good goal after spending the previous 67 minutes engaged in a display of promising but ultimately baffling wing-shuffle-disappointment, before doing an incongruous but spectacular backflip as though that's all just all right then, has fallen out with Sir Alex Ferguson over his laughable wage demands.

- longsince
Black and white photos of a dockers' strike line one wall, while on another, freshly mounted posters advertise an initiative to galvanise an area that has longsince lost its industrial heritage.

- contractualising
This unwanted and surreptitious divorce will lead to all the complications of contractualising integrated arrangements, with Post Office staff having to rent desk space from the Royal Mail head office in Old Street, the charging of further rent for sorting rooms in rural post offices and the selling off of local post offices, understood as singular businesses rather than part of a wider national system of communication.

- grog-drinking
Film Anne of the Indies forces facts to walk the plank Historical accuracy is tossed overboard in this fierce drama of cigar-smoking, grog-drinking, bear-punching female pirates.

- country-kitsch
If Cath Kidston did holidays (and it's surely only a matter of time) they would be in the model of Stowford Manor Farm except that everything here is authentically country-kitsch.

- melancholy-suffused
Despite their association with luxe signifiers, it's often overlooked that Sade could turn her melancholy-suffused voice to social issues with surprising feel; the juxtaposition here of a woman in Somalia and the distinctly first-world metaphor it hurts like brand new shoes works because the tragedy is of both narrator and object being trapped in bubbles they can't escape from.

- quartz-fibre
Once installed in the reactor laboratories at Chalk River, Ontario, Ken looked for ways of making large numbers of quartz-fibre radiation dosimeters.

- iron-fisting
When Jowell approached Cabinet with the idea to host the Olympics in 2003, Tony Blair was sceptical and Gordon Brown set against iron-fisting the plan until Jowell talked him round.

- air-riff
You also must admit that when it comes on in a bar or club, you and your mates will air-riff to it like morons.

- reverse-journey
Before he freezes over in the maze at the end, Jack has taken a full reverse-journey back down the evolutionary table, and the figure he finally most closely resembles, grunting with his axe, is the killer ape in 2001: A Space Odyssey, screaming with bloodlust as he wields his bone-weapon, exulting in having just invented murder.

- slimmer-of-the-month-style
When you read about these transformations (usually illustrated by a skinny person standing, slimmer-of-the-month-style, in one leg of avoluminous pair of now-discarded trousers), you are left with the impression that the process is a simple transition from fat misery to slender happiness.

- two-baggers
Granted, he missed over 50 games, but the staggering number here is 44 doubles - a lot of two-baggers in just 111 games.

- cool-hair
Thanks to nu-metal and cool-hair bands like the Strokes and the White Stripes, rock was in the ascendant again; guitars once more sold more than turntables, a reversal of how things were trending in the 90s.

- bellysplash
Sunderland came back at their visitors, Leslie hitting a daisycutter which the Newcastle keeper Matt Kingsley an ample gentleman carrying 14 of the cuddly stones tried his best to save with a Big Daddy bellysplash, but let slip under his voluminous gut.

- personalized-medicine
A tumor's genetic makeup can vary significantly even within the same tumor sample, researchers said, a finding that poses new challenges to the personalized-medicine movement in cancer.

- mass-walkout
Six million workers could strike across UK TUC steps up anti-austerity campaign by looking into practicalities of staging first mass-walkout since 1926.

- sludgeathon
I Should Have Helped, meanwhile, is a fuzzy, KRecords-style lo-fi ballad that knows its charm lies in its brevity, and Back to the Bolthole is an impressively heavy sludgeathon but it's all a little too faithful to its template to be truly arresting

- scaleness
I believe in small scaleness, in everything we do

- un-earmarked
That has allowed us to use un-earmarked money that might otherwise have been used in headquarters to be used in these forgotten emergencies Guterres said.

- blood-powder
So most producers use a dried blood-powder mix that is more convenient, but has nothing like the same intensity of flavour.

- food-donor
Getting too close to the state, he adds, would wreck Trussell's food-donor base.

- jute-bag
Twelve teams of five hipsters went head to head in among other events a skinny-jeans tug-of-war, a vinyl-spinning marathon, a horn-rimmed-glasses-throwing contest, and a jute-bag race.

- youthful-ish
Age is one of the great modern adventures, a technological marvel we're given several more youthful-ish decades if we take care of ourselves.

- fly-on-a-magnificent-painted-wall
A fly-on-a-magnificent-painted-wall documentary about the elegant Derbyshire stately, filmed over six months.

- surf-pop-goes-miserablist
Sunlight is the apotheosis of that whole surf-pop-goes-miserablist approach invented by the Drums.

- bio-product
Zhaqsybai Zhumalidov, chair of the Life Sciences committee, announced their findings last week. We have created a bio-product called Nar.

- virgin-wool
For a while, though, it's been a case of getting down to Zegna to buy whatever virgin-wool pinstripe is on the inside cover of How to Spend It.

- unenrolled
Romney may win most Republican votes but there are a lot of independent voters, unenrolled we call them in this state, and believe me they are not going to vote for Romney.

- cycle-conscious
It is proving tough to create a green cycle-conscious culture in Vietnam, says Barcelona native Guim Valls Teruel, founder of the Hanoi Bicycle Collective, a cafe-cum-bike shop specialising in fixed-speed, vintage Peugeot and electric bicycles.

- multi-lawsuit
As part of the multi-lawsuit fight with Apple, the company has been accused of willfully withholding and destroying evidence and this isn't their first offense.

- super-sweet-natured
This might explain also the super-sweet-natured camaraderie of the crew, which includes a Mr Tickle and also, amusingly, a Mr Stevenson a Scotsman and a wisp of a fellow who keeps lookout in the crow's-nest.

- ever-frustrating
14 mins: A decent Reading move ends with the ever-frustrating Jobi McAnuff thumping his cross over everybody's heads and out of play.

- cyber-intrusions
In America, they gave up trying to calculate precise values nine years ago, when the number of known cyber-intrusions reached 100,000 in a year; one respected Washington thinktank put the cost of cybertheft in the US last year at roughly 63bn.

- bageling
His year has been a mixture of many terrific highs and a couple of dips, from the heroics in the Australian Open final against Rafael Nadal to the disappointment of Paris last week, when he lost in the second round to Sam Querrey after bageling the American in the first set.

- press-box-dwelling
Only twice previously in my press-box-dwelling, splinter-collecting career have I seen a young centre who has stood out to the same spectacular extent.

- credulity-defying
And so much of my short, precious, work time was taken up with making Paulo coffee and listening to him detail his complex and credulity-defying financial woes as he drilled with haphazard confidence.

- slightly-speeded-up
Or even this year's Contraband, which flits clumsily between generic action and Wahlberg's patented slightly-speeded-up Concerned Family Man voice.

- state-propelled
Although focusing on the fatal, state-propelled myths that led to the persecution of poor women, the lyrics simultaneously highlight the parallel scapegoating used to blame social ills in an era of what the band calls rabid Cameron.

- axe-grindingly
He admits that his friendship with Sumner, whom he axe-grindingly portrays as remote and ruthless, had cooled even during Joy Division's lifetime, and that Insight, his favourite Joy Division song reminds me of a time when writing music was easy but most of all fun implying that, for him, New Order records were neither.

- airballed
Jose Calderon, who scored a career-high 30 points, inbounded to DeMar DeRozan for the final possession, but he airballed his potential tying shot at the buzzer.

- audioboo-ing
But this pilgrim will have found his way there via Google maps on his android phone and will be tweeting, blogging and audioboo-ing the moment for his followers at home and aboard

- defense-stretching
The Red Bulls came out in a more recognizable 4-4-2 in the second half, with Henry moving forward and Le Toux pushed out right onto Richard's former flank - a move that demonstrated both his all-round competence and also the loss of Richard's defense-stretching pace.

- paranormal-obsessed
Not for the paranormal-obsessed crossover market; few twentysomethings will be reading them on the train, as part of their style is self-conscious immaturity.

- dungeon-questing
The latest in a flurry of Android gamed from Korean publisher Gamevil is an ultimate mystery RPG complete with a sorceress' curse and deep skill-building, dungeon-questing action

- jayswimming
The sight of swans and ducks attempting to cut across the swimmers - jayswimming? - made the spectacle even more British.

- pro-forced
The anti-abortion brigades need to quit calling themselves "pro-life" when they're clearly "pro-forced gestation" because there's nothing remotely pro-life about telling a pregnant woman better you die in childbirth than live childfree.

- rumour-hit
Entwistle's departure also did little to steady nerves inside a rumour-hit BBC, with journalists working on Newsnight still unclear if the BBC2 programme would go out as usual on Monday, pending an emergency review of the circumstances surrounding a report that wrongly linked the former Conservative party treasurer Lord McAlpine to child sexual abuse.

- sharp-spun
In the event he spent most of his practice time under lights in the middle on Saturday facing the left-arm spinners Panesar and Danny Briggs (it was hard to know whether to be heartened or disturbed by one sharp-spun delivery from Panesar that took Pietersen's off stump).

- hoop-hanging
Westbrook makes a nifty steal and then hands it to his regular season teammate James Harden to finish off a hoop-hanging dunk.

- head-manipulation
WKD's new iPhone app is on the FatBooth bandwagon from a while back, with head-manipulation the focus in this case

- improv-acclimatised
It's for the improv-acclimatised, but regular jazz listeners will recognise some distantly familiar landmarks.

- coach-of-the-month
There's also great concern about following the trail blazed (perhaps burned is more accurate) by Toronto and its coach-of-the-month club.

- outfootballed
Being outfootballed by a very similar team to themselves.

- clue-crammed
From there a policeman's life is rarely dull, with each house call paying out mountains of blinged-out munitions (including a gold jewel-encrusted assault rifle, Liberace's AK and a convenient lead to the next clue-crammed crime scene).

- faux-Polaroid
Every day my Twitter stream and my Facebook newsfeed are full of Instagram images, all sporting the cutesy faux-Polaroid filters and ragged white borders added by the iPhone or Android app.

- lampshade-headed
Airborne drones patrol the beach, bizarre election rallies march around the ornamental gardens and, to ominous recorded church bells, a procession of giant luminous skeletons and lampshade-headed women winds through the Mediterranean arches and chocolate-box promenades of Portmeirion.

- worm's-eye-views
Billed as worm's-eye-views of warfare from the German standpoint, the books contain some crude humour and a great deal more cruelty and brutality they are war comics without the pictures, devoured especially by teenage boys.

- upper-medium-sized
Most respondents say that tablets and mobiles will not decrease the amount they print and, although small to lower-medium-sized companies are more likely than others to expect a decrease, upper-medium-sized companies are actually more likely to expect an increase in printing.

- trophy-hoarding
After that came the mature trophy-hoarding Giggs of occasional chest-wigged explosion.

- electro-shocking
It is a phrase we use with apologies to George Orwell, of course, the two-bit hack who in his 1946 essay Politics and the English Language, famously dismissed it as a dying metaphor with the over-confidence of a man who clearly hadn't factored in the Fiver's capacity for rubbing its literary defibrillator paddles together and electro-shocking even the most hackneyed sayings back to life on a regular basis.
Neologisms: 2013
Then there was Kutcher's then-wife, Demi Moore (neé @MrsKutcher) who took a very publicized break from her pioneering efforts in the art of the selfie to dissuade a follower from suicide.

Not at all; we're going to want smarter OSs to handle, for example, the wearable computing that's coming along (think of the Pebble smartwatch and Google Glass) as well as the explosion in addressable devices coming with IPv6.

The cut in beer duty, the freezing of the fuel levy and the announcement of a help-to-buy successor to the right-to-buy schemes of the Thatcher era were the key headline grabbers, their political purpose utterly transparent.

The miners have to try to hash the transactions together lots of times, but each time with a different random number thrown in, to see if the resulting hash matches the requirements. The first one to crack it wins the Bitcoins. Then, that hash is added to a kind of general ledger known as the blockchain, and the whole thing starts over again.

The closest he gets to the third is a tedious longueur in which he picks women from the crowd to compete against each other in the bottom-waggling dance style called "twerking", curtailed after barely a minute to the sound of restless booing.

There's some real momentum in fintech innovation in east London, so you're as likely to see us in Old Street," she says.

In recent months, sharing companies, including ride-hailing app Uber and ridesharing app Lyft, have faced lawsuits that highlight similar problems.

It's generally hard to hide pre-mining because almost all cryptocurrencies have a global ledger," he says.

uBiome: sequencing your microbiome >> Indiegogo. uBiome is a citizen science project that allows the public access to cutting edge sequencing technology to understand their health through the microbiome.

When fragments of a meteorite rained down on the Russian city of Chelyabinsk and the surrounding area, the most dramatic footage came from not from television news crews, but from cameras perched on car dashboards. These small devices, known as dashcams, have been marketed around the world but nowhere have they become as popular as in Russia, where they cost around 2,300 roubles (£50).

Back in 2009, the "vape community" was small: we had small batteries, under-performing atomizers and oddly flavored "juice" from China.

Nets and drumlines, situated near 85 beaches to protect swimmers, snared a total of 713 sharks last year, according to Queensland government data.

As more subscribers binge-watch, Netflix's strategy with House of Cards will surely pay off.

You pay only when you see a doctor, and your copayment (between $15 to $60) is based on your income.

The trademarked (yes, actually) croissant-donut hybrid is only available in New York, and people have been lining up hours before pastry chef Dominique Ansel's bakery opens to get their hands on the pastry before it sells out in the early hours of the morning. This week, I commemorated donut day for Guardian US for the second year in a row by enduring the hour-and-a-half long cronut line.

Commander Peter Spindler, the head of the Met's specialist crime investigations, said: "This is a complex, multi-agency investigation supported by the NSPCC, Ceop [Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre] and Richmond social services involving non-recent allegations of sexual assault against children."

GM scientist Professor Helen Sang, of the Roslin Institute, told me such changes could be pursued using gene-editing techniques. She manipulates poultry genes, splicing together parts of DNA to achieve useful adaptations.

If the first up win was a boilover, then what followed was truly remarkable.

Until we change fat identity and show bigger people that they have any worth, we can't expect them to care for themselves dieting and fat-shaming will never be the answer.

Bleijie told Queenslanders to expect more anti-bikie laws. "As the criminal motorcycle gang members respond to these laws, come up out of the ground from where they are hidden at the moment, we will have to introduce more laws targeting criminal motorcycle gang members," he said.

Julia Gillard has called for Brough to be disendorsed as the LNP candidate for Fisher.

With the exception of the unkempt, unready celebs that are papped for body-shaming style commentary, the majority of stars' photos are edited beyond reality to remove spots, pores, wrinkles, cellulite, stretch marks and follicular fuzz.

Among Cameron's recent moves has been the recruitment to policy roles of the Etonian MPs Jesse Norman (last heard putting the chumocracy down to his old school's "commitment to public service") and Jo Johnson.

From products like Google Glass head-mounted smartglasses and Nike's body-tracking Fuelband, to apparel such as moisture-wicking clothes, Watts says "sportswear has taken a huge shift into mainstream fashion.

Have you ever been given the side-eye while trying to purchase multiple two-liter bottles of Faygo to mix with your gin?

Bloom labelled the book "cli-fi" in the press release and says he coined that term in 2007, cli-fi being short for "climate fiction", described as a sub-genre of sci-fi.

A sequence of heavily polluted days in January, dubbed the "airpocalypse", has transformed public attitudes towards the thick smog bedevilling many of China's major cities.

Why did the EU's tobacco product directive released last month propose effectively banning any e-cigs that deliver remotely enough nicotine to make them an attractive alternative to tobacco?

This is why seemingly tiny, individual acts of sexism – like innocent dongle jokes – matter. Such "micro-aggressions" combine to reinforce structural sexism.

A new Tumblr, Selfies at Serious Places, documents some of the most egregious examples of over-zealous selfie-taking.

This unilateral adoption of sterling (or "sterlingisation") would avoid the transition and transaction costs of a change in currency but at the expense of leaving an independent Scottish state with no control over its monetary policy.

While that might only be advisable for the experienced man-bun wearer, the classic version could be coming to a male near you soon.

The page is filled with science-nerd memes, scientific questions (Is de-extinction a good idea?).

Like most of us, I am familiar with mainstream dietary advice eat less sugar, salt and saturated fat, cut down on the cronuts and so on but I much prefer the idea of discovering little-known shortcuts to longevity; I'm more of a "silver bullet" kind of guy.

The site has such problems with its user base attempting to track down wrongdoers that it enforces a rule against posting personal information - known as doxxing - more thoroughly than practically any other rule it maintains.

I would refer all of you, if you're not already familiar with it, with both the documentary called Catfish, the MTV show which is a derivative of that documentary and the sort of associated things you'll find online and otherwise about Catfish or 'catfishing", said Jack Swarbrick, Notre Dame's athletic director, referring to the 2010 documentary the authenticity of which has been called into question about a young man who is tricked on Facebook into falling for a fictitious woman.

A simple retweet or the more advanced subtweet – quoting someone's words without alerting them that you are doing so – allows you to rally your supporters to any instance of counter-revolutionary treachery while remaining a shadowy puppeteer of the agitprop yourself.

Elsewhere we go gif gaga for Jennifer Lawrence who photobombed Sarah Jessica Parker.

But wizarding history's most famous "magizoologist" will presumably have to come up against human enemies, too.

Traditional donor behaviour could get impacted: When you're giving rewards to crowdfunders, the messaging of the raise in relation to your loyal donor base needs to be managed carefully.

I can't find a way of embedding it without it autoplaying, which I know people find annoying, so I won't).

Decc's analysis that bills will come down depends heavily on assumptions about 'products policy', which is delivered through the EU's ecodesign directive.

Boston shows, Obama says, the danger of self-radicalized individuals.

Users of Reddit hold especial contempt for people who post others' art as their own in order to get "upvotes" and "karma" intangible, non-redeemable measures of internet applause from strangers.

In a new advice note published on Tuesday, the Office of the Scottish Charity regulator (OSCR) has said that charities can campaign openly for a 'yes' or 'no' vote in next year's referendum, as well as funding referendum-related events and causes, allowing the voluntary sector far greater political freedom.

Posen is not, though, an "austerian" economist: in the second half of the 1990s, he supported expansionary fiscal policy in Japan; more recently, as a member of the Bank of England's monetary policy committee from 2009-2012, he supported expansionary monetary policy, including quantitative easing and very low interest rates.

Its developer says it will soon integrate data from health-tracking gadgets too.

When a black man resents a black woman for having personal power, agency, confidence and no shame over her sexuality, no matter what it is outside of state-sanctioned monogamous heterosexual compliant to patriarchal power and control type of sexuality, he's engaging in misogynoir.

Once that private blockchain is released, if it is longer than the publicly available blockchains currently in circulation it will overwrite them, destroying the value of the work done by others in preference to their own mined bitcoins. "

In the same month, the selfie-obsessed model and actress Kelly Brook banned herself from posting any more of them (her willpower lasted two hours).
Neologisms: 2014

Now there's the interestingly titled athleisure. Athleisure has taken fashion by surprise, stealthily creeping up until it’s everywhere. If you’re not sure what it is – and like me want to pronounce it the American way as “ath-leezure” – it’s in the rise of jogging bottoms over the once-ubiquitous skinny jeans, as the look you’re most likely to see on the high street.

For so long fashion has been about bling and ostentation and this, the celebration of the ordinary, like that delightful normcore trend, subverts that.

During the interview, Hockey also contradicted his colleague, the foreign minister, Julie Bishop, who on Wednesday appeared to rule out charging bulk-billing patients a $6 fee for doctor's visits - a proposal that has been put to the government's Commission of Audit.

We've seen your shelfies, and now we're after your sand-filled pages - and your travelling books in front of foreign cityscapes, jungles, mountains, nearby beaches - or wherever your summer is taking you, even if it's just the tube.

Anyway, Shulman is bored with this thin-themed twaddle; such a fashion word, "bored", so passive aggressive, so unanswerable. You may be right but you're dull; this is no-platforming in the style of Mean Girls.

Gay men warned on risks of 'chemsex'. Gay men are suffering serious harm and are in danger of spreading HIV by having unprotected sex while under the influence of illegal drugs, the first British study into the growing popularity of "chemsex" has revealed.

Many country fans have applauded RaeLynn's success and view God Made Girls as a salvo to the derivative bro-country phenomenon that has plagued the format and shut out nearly every woman not named Carrie or Miranda from country radio.

As 2014 comes to an end, one thing New York commuters can expect in 2015 is an official city campaign against a growing problem: manspreading. Manspreading is the act or practice – typically male – of spreading one’s legs in a manner which prevents others from occupying nearby seats on the subway, commuter train or bus.

Ashy Bines- Australia's very own clean-eating guru has made millions off of it. This is despite the fact that the 24 year-old has no qualifications in diet and nutrition or that her "Clean Eating Diet Plan" has been deemed to be one of the worst diets around by Australia's eminent nutritionists.

A true-color image of vog - volcanic smog - from Iceland's Bardarbunga Volcano.

As always, the contestants had to impress judges Len Goodman, Bruno Tonioli (the human spiraliser), Craig Revel-Horwood (sporting facial hair like Zorro), and Darcey Bussell, with a series of dances designed to show off how much they had learned, and to share their feelings about being on Strictly.

The images that accompanied this track fit the inspo of 80s meets GoT so perfectly.

This is doubtless exactly what fans have been hoping for given the first season, which I recklessly binge-watched in one day.

It would be good if I could mansplain this all by saying, yeah but men work more hours in paid employment.

To make the politics microplay, the playwright Tim Price met with economics commentator Aditya Chakrabortty and came up with a gift of an idea for a director.

Support from the £2m fund will be offered to community or non-profit organisations that offer creative ideas to fight homophobic, biphobic and transphobic bullying in England's playgrounds and classrooms.

He said members of the "sextortion" group would create fake Facebook accounts of fictitious young women and lure victims with pornographic materials after striking up online chats with them.

The Abbott government has quietly agreed to suspend a ban on broadscale land clearing in Tasmania, The Australian reports.

But, perhaps surprisingly, gender is not as much of a concern as one might think: one group of cosplayers were dressed as a gender-swapped version of the Avengers, with female versions of Loki, Iron Man, Thor, Captain America, Hawkeye and Hulk, as well as a male version of Black Widow.

The Australian navy has been accused of burning asylum seekers during a towback to Indonesia.

Sales and marketing manager Nick Hutchinson said the company had decided the trouble caused by the anti-halal backlash outweighed the benefits of the Emirates contract.

The gap between your sluggish body and the affordances of high-tech accelerationism has to be closed at all costs.

Most recently, it's become uniform of the lumbersexual, a rare breed of metrosexual with an aptitude for putting up shelves.

Until then, while there is plenty of creativity on show in Trap Team, some will criticise the new title for over complicating the beauty of its simple toys-to-life mechanic.

The good news is that it is easy to control the dose using ever-decreasing strengths of e-liquids and cartridges without ever having to summon up the willpower to curtail the soothing, puffing action.

There is a gigantic pattern of behaviour that to most of us has been invisible until now, and it will be no surprise to you that marketers are keenly interested in this information, said Tercek, pointing to Disney's launch of RFID bands for visitors to wear around its theme parks, as well as Google's acquisition of smart-home device maker Nest.

Not many people find gamergate hilarious. […] It reflects a part of the gamer mindset that we'd hoped had evolved by now, but apparently hasn't.

Janet Murguía, head of the National Council of La Raza, the country's oldest and largest Hispanic advocacy group, recently underlined the alienation by calling Obama, a supposed ally, the deporter-in-chief.

And if a celebrity should show up - say, Benedict Cumberbatch - then the pavement will turn into a giant selfie-stick porcupine.

Krispy Kreme and Dunkin Donuts today joined 19 other major food companies to make zero-deforestation pledges.

I would highly recommend the use of body-cams to anyone suffering abuse on the street, while adding the obvious health warning that no one should put themselves in danger in an attempt to gather evidence.

Being fat-shamed by Hopkins is not going to reverse that trend.

They were joined in the top 10 by toy-unboxing channel DisneyCollector, which is the third largest YouTube channel with 225m monthly views.

But the vet said that the controversial rise of megafarms - where hundreds of cattle, chickens or pigs are kept in vast warehouses - was good for cutting down on animal disease, despite concerns that keeping so many animals in one place could intensify any outbreak.

But the trend, which peaked on the night of the film's 19th July release, was quickly hijacked by users posting nude photos of ex-girlfriends, (in some cases including the targets' Twitter handles, or in other cases, subtweeting). "

Finally, a louche online porn magnate played by Jack Black lectures the couple on how sex tapes are generally made by unhappy people - you can tell he's louche because he vapes away on his e-cigarette, increasingly the sign of a screen rogue.

When wealthy LA schools have low vaccination rates and interactive maps show outbreaks of vaccine-preventable diseases in high-income areas, it's easy to see anti-vaxxer ideology as an attack of affluenza.

Apple unveils its smarthome program at WWDC 2014: Apple's CEO Tim Cook unveiled the company's newest entry into connected homes at its worldwide developer conference in San Francisco.

Although you might feel a bit daft, this will give your smell receptors an opportunity to rest and reset, so you should then be able to detect the smellscape around you again.

I "vaped" on the tube, blew vapour rings in the lift at work, puffed for inspiration at my keyboard, e-smoked in the kids' playground without apology.

Hangry: a stupid, made-up word for being hungry and angry at the same time?

The Coalition has said it will bring in new residential zones to protect the natural assets of the Mornington peninsula, a similar plan for the upper reaches of the Yarra river, a crackdown on underquoting by real estate agents at auctions and will develop a new port at Hastings and push ahead with the East West Link toll road.

How do you think we can we help stop erasure of minority minority groups ie asexuals, nonbinary, polysexual, people?

The scientists took batches of iPS cells made from the patient's skin and tested three different genome-editing procedures to correct the faulty dystrophin gene.

Most bike theft in the capital is performed by experienced criminals, who know ebikes are more trouble than they are worth.

In a month... Jon Favreau's takes the food-truck route in Chef 1980s holiday musical Walking On Sunshine

It's a numbers game: we can report and downvote as much as we like, but unless you have 50 mods, the shitposting will overwhelm everything else, just as it has on every default sub."

Unfortunately, most subtweets do not rise to these heights: they're petty bitching and infuriatingly vague gossip-fodder.

There is a medical condition - misophonia - for people who are sent into an instantaneous rage by the sounds of other people eating.
Neologisms: 2015
If you look at the condition of the welfare state, voting rights, or recent recruitment among online antifeminists and the alt-right, you'll see that they frequently succeed.

How can the remainers fight back?

Wrangling over the details of austerity plans is no longer enough to push irate demonstrators on to the streets of Athens in protest - even if the leftist-led government has done little else since it was catapulted into power three weeks ago.

The official claims that investigators - including a Boeing air safety investigator - have identified the component as a flaperon, part of the trailing edge of a 777 wing.

The dieselgate emissions-fixing scandal engulfing the world's biggest carmaker, Volkswagen, is a slow-motion car crash of the firm's own making.

She is part of a national network of statisticians producing the US government's best count yet of people killed by police, under a program known as the arrest-related deaths (ARD) count.

Already you can see terms grounded in communities (bye Felicia), disguised in pronunciation (ratchet), or invented from imagination (on fleek) slipping into mainstream and popular culture lexicons (again).

People scolded their friends for tinting their profile pictures with the Tricolore, or for seeming to care more about Paris than Beirut, in order to show how much more thoughtful and liberal they were: the American writer Jamiles Lartey dubbed them “tragedy hipsters”. To the terrorists, this virtue-signalling is utterly irrelevant.

An officer's body-camera footage was released.

Huge becomes 'yuge'; the worn catchphrase millionaires and billionaires almost a nervous tic.

Of course, it's incredibly important to call out problems, such as when microfibers end up on shorelines around the world.

Retail experts even have a name for this practice of squeezing out the same price for less: shrinkflation.

While both African-Americans and Africans remain victims of global anti-blackness, there is a far greater sense of disconnect when it comes to stories of extreme suffering in Africa.

It is strange to think that diets once undertaken in private - as grim and solitary cabbage soup affairs - are now a visual medium, showcased in mason-jar breakfasts, fridge-shelf snaps and plates of raw courgetti.

Step forward swimrun, a new sporting event that ditches the tri-bars and asphalt roads in favour of a bit of off-road and open-water adventure.

The Protected Area and its [land-use] zonification would be re-drawn according to oil exploitation criteria rather than the criteria of conservation and protection. . . Many [of Bolivia's protected areas] have already been impacted by mining, with impunity, and now [this new law] is their final sentence.

But Donald Tusk, the president of the European council who organises and chairs summits of EU national leaders, acknowledged that the debate on refugee-sharing would be difficult and sensitive.

In a sign of growing anger at the VW emissions-rigging scandal, which saw Martin Winterkorn resign on Wednesday, the European parliament's environment committee voted earlier today for real world air pollutant emissions tests to begin no later than 2017.

It should not be the case, and it's not fair that growers who are doing the right thing, and labour-hire providers who are doing the right thing, should be competitively disadvantaged by the behaviour of the minority of dodgy operators.

One might expect this would please the many NGOs that lobbied hard for microbead bans.

Brazil warns women not to get pregnant as zika virus is linked to rare birth defect

What I have, it has become apparent over the past couple of weeks, is a dadbod, which means I now count among my brethren the likes of Kanye West, Leonardo DiCaprio and Seth Rogan, something I never imagined.

There is also dadcore! That’s right, after last year’s seminal fashion trend normcore, there is now dadcore, which is, put simply, Normcore, but just for men.

Concerns about abuse and selective use of the cameras by police are well-founded, especially given that the rules are far from clear about when cameras will be on, what penalties (if any) there will be if an officer turns off their camera or loses footage, and who will have access to bodycam video.

The firm has inserted cheeky geofilters - visual overlays optionally applied to snaps sent from a specific location - for pictures sent from the headquarters of companies such as Uber, Pinterest and Airbnb.

We call it 'ecomodernism'. The idea is to build a new cross-political movement of people who believe that humans are capable of using technological innovation to solve critical environmental problems, such as climate change, at the same time as allowing economic growth to eradicate poverty in developing countries.

In this study, the authors recorded the overall diversity of bird species living on land-sharing cattle farms -- these appear to be wildlife-friendly because they include isolated trees and forest patches -- and compared it to land-sparing cattle farms that lack trees and forest patches and to neighbouring contiguous forest.

Kayakers, or kayaktivists, as they have sought to rebrand themselves, will be splashing their oars in Seattle's port to protest against drilling and exploration for oil in the Arctic - something the giant rig they will be facing off with, Polar Pioneer, is meant to do for oil giant Shell starting this summer.

One of those lines is 'rooftopping', a practice of accessing rooftops to take dizzying skyline photography, often peppered with symbolic political messages and displays of bravado imported from parkour.

Each is different but they all share a single problem - far from enhancing sovereignty and control, each one moves Britain from being a rule-maker to a rule-taker.

We are thinking about registration of the drones, registration of the owners, a concept called geo-fencing which allows drones to be programmed so that they are not able to fly into areas that are at risk - and proper enforcement of existing regulations so, if someone is discovered flying in an unsafe way, they are prosecuted.

Sweet potato sales are up more than 64% over a year, M&S reports, as consumers stock up to create sweet potato 'noodles' and curly fries with their spiralisers.

On the disposition of hedge fund manager Paul Singer, Republican megadonor: […] A single Manhattan lunch this spring offers a small window into why hedge-fund billionaire Paul Singer has become one of the most powerful and sought-after donors in Republican politics.

The fate of Kate Smurthwaite's comedy show, cancelled by Goldsmith's College in London last month (What could be more absurd than censorship on campus, Nick Cohen, Comment) is part of a worrying pattern of intimidation and silencing of individuals whose views are deemed transphobic or whorephobic.

David Cameron accidentally said the election would be a career-defining one instead of a country-defining one during a speech at Asda headquarters in Leeds.

Look at Twitter, where people's bios are often little more than lists of symptoms, dressed up as some kind of radicalism, where the modus operandi is infinite micro-aggression.

That's a report from the front line of postcapitalism, said Mulholland.

Arguably, Sanders was less of the target of the message from the Netroots and Seattle Black Lives Matter protesters than were his supporters and their professed allyship.

The term cuckservative caught the eye of puzzled observers this week amid the froth of commentary floating around the race to become the Republican nominee for president in 2016.

Dystopia is Anthony's Ergo debut novel and the first in what I imagine to be an outstanding series that explores the supernatural (ghosts, empaths and all sorts), history as well the geography of London.

Building on French tenor Joël Roessel’s experiments with the molecular gastronomy of bean water, Wohlt discovered that chickpea brine, when whipped, had all the properties of egg whites. He later invented the name aquafaba for his discovery, based on the Latin words for water and bean.

Last year, pumpkin-flavored pie filling alone brought in almost $135m.

Preston Byrne, the general counsel for blockchain-based startup Eris Industries, said that this legislation will not address the problem it's designed to solve.

And yet here he is. Still captaining, still leading, still legending. For a man who seems to have been playing through near-terminal injury for much of the last decade there is a remarkably consistent pitch to Terry’s sustained defensive presence.

David Cameron's spokesman will not reveal how strongly he is prepared to object to China's steel-dumping in his meetings with Xi.

Since the launch of the millennium development goals 15 years ago, the precursors to the SDGs, there has been increasing awareness among the international community about the importance of data-informed policy-making to help the world's most vulnerable people.

Yes, it is the big dictionaries' regular symposium of lexical additions and words-of-the-year lists - which, like any lists, are powerfully clickbaity provocation machines, efficiently generating widespread ridicule both for what they contain and for what they leave out.

Jasmine Hemsley said: Courgettes for us are hero vegetables and the perfect ingredient because they're easy to spiralise, don't require cooking and are quicker than getting a bowl of pasta on the table.

Federal prosecutors accuse Ulbricht, who allegedly went by the alias Dread Pirate Roberts, of being the owner and manager of the deep-web marketplace Silk Road.

No, says New York magazine, Breslaw's experience is indicative of the sidewalk MO of men who remain apparently oblivious to the personal space of those around them a phenomenon that perhaps we could call manslamming.
Neologisms: 2016
Universities UK are running a pro-remain campaign at full force, because not one of their 132 members want the UK to leave.

The split is more pronounced among readers of the pro-leave Daily Mail and Sun; however, four in 10 of their readers intend to vote to stay in the EU.

The Bloomberg survey was conducted between Friday and Monday, a period in which the Clinton campaign admitted mishandling news of her pneumonia diagnosis and the candidate made controversial comments, labeling half of Trump's supporters a basket of deplorables.

There are decisive leave-voting towns now waking to the realisation that their economies were sustained by EU investment, and begging for protection that's unlikely to come.

The Super Bowl will also provide another venue for the ongoing rivalry between San Francisco-based ride-hail services Uber and Lyft.

The Sun referred to remainers as remoaners and, while conceding that We should the road ahead will be tough believed the PM has shown us she's ready to fight and she believes she can win.

When you treat pussy-grabbing as a masculinity merit badge, you're telling men that sexual assault is fine with you.

Thirdly and perhaps most significantly, we now live in a post-factual democracy.

Early sign-ups and funders will be in line for invitations to exclusive events in remain-voting cities such as London, Brighton, Liverpool, Manchester, Glasgow and Edinburgh.

Nick Clegg called Dr Fox's speech delusional, but of course he is now seen as an embittered remoaner.

These are no longer able to secure themselves decent pensions and their gig-economy children defer starting families because of the financial pressures.

Will she halt the disastrous £13bn benefit cuts still to come, especially to tax credits of her just-about-managing families, whose incomes will fall sharply?

If you are struggling to tell your prime from your option, and your supersoft from your ultrasoft, the multicoloured Pirellis are also giving the engineers and mechanics a tough time.

The foreign secretary, Boris Johnson, has described him as a liberal New Yorker, and advised his European colleagues to end their collective whinge-o-rama over his election.

Those with the expertise to bring the hyperloop concept to fruition - the team that has done an incredible job building out hardware with their heads down and hands in the dirt - have been systematically marginalized, while the 'money men' who do not understand the technology spent little time seeking to understand its potential, focusing instead on puffery

As Net-a-Porter founder Natalie Massenet says, we should be very proud that Burberry planted the British flag in the brave new world of see-now-buy-now.

No one can pretend that traingate is one of most important news stories of the era.

A tearful Lynsey Sharp said the decision to overturn rules on testosterone suppression made competing against the women's Olympic 800m champion, Caster Semenya, and other hyperandrogenic athletes difficult.

Jeb Bush went on a tour of a gun factory - note the antlers on that geofilter. Martin O’Malley may have barely any supporters but he does at least have his own Snapchat geofilter.

The pleas of Chris Darden, who ends the episode as co-prosecutor after William Hodgman bows out due to health issues, go unheard and the level of wokeness in the DA's office hits an all-time low.

Raucous anger against any parliamentary attempt to let the country pause for thought is bellowed out daily by the Tory press denouncing all 48% of remain voters as an anti-democratic remoaning metropolitan elite.

He reportedly wanted to self-investigate the spurious Clinton report.

That's a bit of a surprise, given that Mozart In The Jungle actually makes for highly bingeable fare, boasting a strong cast - Gael García Bernal, Lola Kirke, Malcolm McDowell - and a zippy, soapy sense of pacing.

A bioprinter - a three dimensional printer that uses living cells in suspension as its ink, and injection nozzles that can follow a CT scan blueprint - brings the dream of transplant surgery a step nearer: a bespoke body part grown in a laboratory and installed by a robot surgeon.

It's harder still if you've seen their plans for one building to unify them all: a cavernous landscraper, which would have been longer than the Shard is tall, eleven storeys high, and contain a private running track on the roof.

Craine spent 20 years on incapacity benefit but now specialises in helping people cope with neurodivergent differences.

The Brexit secretary, David Davis, said the judgment appeared to imply that the government would have to bring a bill before both houses of parliament, and all opposition parties, as well as remain-leaning Conservatives, were considering how they would use the extra leverage that could give them.

In the Financial Times yesterday, Richard Spencer, who coined the term, said: “I don’t think Bannon is alt-right in the way I would define it.” Professor Hawley concurs, and agrees with Spencer that it is alt-light.

When you have what looks like collusion between the government and big remain-backing businesses, it seems to be suggesting that in exchange for support for remain there's consideration given to the awarding of lavish public sector contracts.

Housebuilding surged in September, smashing City expectations and lifting the construction industry out of an EU referendum-induced slump.

After all, this was a character who possessed phallic tokens aplenty, from cranes to planes, and regularly barked orders at housewives as they scrubbed their sinks. Could he get any more meninist?

Call it lampshading if you want, but wearing a short dress/T-shirt / jumper with over-the-knee boots is definitely a thing.

Meanwhile, after months bashing other candidates for their links to big donors, Trump appears to be making inroads wooing some staunchly pro-Israel megadonors, including billionaire Sheldon Adelson - though other big check-writers still have huge concerns about his candidacy.

Jones also reports that Philadelphia is amendable to tiny homes and tiny-house communities.

But despite the hashtaggable emotions, there's plenty of fun, too, as disco rhythms and yacht-rock moods also swagger on to the floor.

Cybersecurity isn't just about protecting your location data and your private emails: it's about making sure randos aren't spying on your children through your baby monitor, or driving your car off the road, or killing you where you stand by wirelessly hacking your insulin pump - or stealing entire hospitals.

While other magazines are publishing ethically dubious trend pieces on the fashy haircuts of white nationalist Richard Spencer and his peers, Teen Vogue has been ensuring its readers know that Vice-President-elect Mike Pence voted against the Ledbetter Fair Pay Act and once said, referring to abortion law, that he longed for the day that Roe v Wade is sent to the ash heap of history.

They say our problem is that we choose only to listen to voices that validate our own. Their answer seems to be befriend the people who call you a 'libtard kike'.

Even if your imagination runs wild with possibilities, you'd not come near the reality of what lies within (unless you've already leafed through the hardcore ecosexual magazines outside).

Yet its single most special effect has gone frustratingly unrewarded: Isaac's brilliant, swaggering send-up of the tech-bro fraternity, which coolly pierces his character's smug social regressiveness without neglecting or denying his cold, crackling intelligence.

Perhaps the inspiration was Batman v Superman because, like Zack Snyder's logic-free disasterpiece, the new Powerball v Ageing and Powerball v Heartache clips require narrative backflips and frantic visual sleight-of-hand to justify the smackdown promised by the title.

Even when told that they could be personally worse off by up to £500 per year if Britain left the EU, the majority of leave-leaning voters (60%) still said they would vote to leave.

In the absence of positive depictions of plus-size people in the mainstream media, social media affords fat people a place where they can subvert the expectations of embarrassment, shyness and prescribed dieting foisted upon them by a fatphobic world.

Topshop introduced e-receipts in November 2015 as a convenient way to receive proof of purchase, she says.

I hardly ever get to say this, but when it comes to faceswapping, I was an early adopter. I have proof. In late 2011, I posted a Facebook album called SWAPPED FACES, which consisted of 36 pictures of friends and family with their mugs superimposed on each other.

In the rambling speech - Palin eschewed the use of a teleprompters the effete affectation of a decadent weak-kneed, capitulator-in-chief - the former vice presidential candidate declared that she was endorsing Trump because, like you, I know that it is now or never.

In the US, Walker says, fatphobia would manifest itself in subtle ways: she'd find herself excluded from things.

Female doctors bear the brunt of childcare and caring responsibilities and they make up the majority of those working part-time; the loss of incremental pay progression will hit less-than-full-time trainees the hardest.

Globalism is many things to Mr Speck but to a territorialist the positive globalism that enables one to buy cheap, high-quality goods or do business in America is different from the globalism whereby a multitude of migrants journeys to Europe demanding settlement.

Although far from a gushing endorsement, the remarks suggest that Adelson, a Republican superdonor, may decline to fund a #NeverTrump movement to stop the GOP frontrunner from becoming the party's nominee.
Neologisms: 2017
After weeks of denial the minster has finally admitted what everyone else already knows: there are serious problems with the robo-debt program, Burney said.

Guardian comment pages are supposed to be a haven from the Twitter / social media rant-orama, not an extension of it.

Among the CCRU's legacy is the accelerationist school of political philosophy (nutshell: things will only get better after they've got worse, so let's make things worse).

Almost everyone around us, including me, was wearing pink handknit hats with little ears, or pussyhats.

These would guarantee a meaningful vote in parliament on any final deal, while another calls for full tariff and impediment-free access to the single market.

And all that will happen now is that Keir Starmer, Alex Salmond and Anna Soubry will start dreaming up the next demand around which remain-minded MPs can coalesce.

Jaffrey's own books introduced millions of Britons to a more regional Indian cookery of flatbreads and complex dals and fresh, green coriander chutneys: a cuisine quite unlike the dear old tikkas in neon-red sauces.

Like so many burgeoning black neighborhoods, suburbanization and deindustrialization ravaged Vine City in the 1970s, catalyzed by racially motivated disinvestment and neglect.

He is the ultimate gaslighter, exerting a mind control so consummate it doesn't need gaslight.

Trump’s stance reflects the mutual intolerance that now exists between those promoting the scientific consensus and those for whom the consensus is just another political racket. Trump didn’t create this division. He is simply exploiting it. It is tempting for anyone on the scientific side of the divide to want to apportion all the blame to the “alt-facts” crowd, who see elite conspiracies everywhere.

The prime minister's message was tailored to the large segment of voters, including many ex-remainers, who see the big in / out question as settled and say they want the job done without any more palaver.

I've been a writer for so-called essay-mill websites for many years.

Frydenberg said the newer high efficiency lower emissions (Hele) coal-fired plants - also known as ultra-super critical plants - could not be funded under the CEFC.

Gorsuch, like late Justice Scalia, describes himself as a strict textualist in his interpretation of the constitution.

One of the highest profile Ethiopian re-pats, he has successfully tapped into a growing interest in cooking and gastronomy among an emerging urban middle class.

There is no precedent to support this claimed unreviewability, which runs contrary to the fundamental structure of our constitutional democracy.

Some will find this shrill and alarmist - new technology has always had its catastrophisers.

Yes it's a big story in more ways than one - a team of Harvard scientists say that scientists say they are on the brink of being able to create a hybrid elephant-mammoth embryo.

It's the rash of brightly coloured dockless share bikes, haphazardly parked on the pavements in their thousands.

And Amanda Spielman, the chief inspector, described off-rolling, alongside other results-boosting methods, as a scandal.

Take shrobing. Based on that pioneering styling quirk “shoulder robing”, or wearing your coat as a cape, like the pope, this portmanteau, newly coined by Vogue, involves peeling your coat off your shoulders so that it sits across your deltoids.

There has also been more discussion of women in the workplace, leading to a rise in supposedly empowering labels such as girlboss, a term popularised by Sophia Amoruso, the founder of online retailer Nasty Gal.

While he might not say so himself, Lil Peep also makes a style of music that has been crowned emo-trap.

A team at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia have shown that premature lambs could be kept alive and growing for four weeks inside a biobag.

I apologise for having to reaccommodate these customers.

Facebook will also use photo-matching technologies for pictures the site is already aware are being shared non-consensually.

Ultimately, the group predicts a northern California megaregion fueled by growth in tech jobs, with the Central Valley offering ample land for bedroom communities.

Lloyds will maintain flagship stores in major cities, but other locations will shift to community branches much like the St Paul's micro-branch.

The label alt-left, increasingly applied to progressives by Republicans and commentators, is both a slur and inaccurate, writes Bhaskar Sunkara.

Just after midnight in Washington, Donald Trump tweeted: Despite the constant negative press covfefe.

There are, or have been, accelerationists from the United States, Canada, Britain, Germany, Italy and France.

And the so-called re-leavers - the weak-kneed agnostics who voted remain but are now pro-Brexit because it's happening anyway and they have long since checked in their spines at the door - can probably choose between either of the two who stood at the back, whatever their names are, because what the hell.

Boris Johnson is a caggie-handed, cheese-headed fopdoodle with a talent for slummocking about.

Doing a passable illustration seemed like a good art micromastery.

The first product is a $48 (£38) contour and highlighting stick that comes in light, medium, dark and deep dark and is packaged in a millennial-pink box.

Tories will want answers about why the message was so sombre and May such a glumbucket as Mail sketchwriter Quentin Letts memorably put it.

If the sound of dial-up internet haunts your nightmares and your first crush was called Corey, perhaps you are you a xennial, a micro-generation born between born between 1977 and 1983.

The beauty of youth football tournaments is that fresh-faced young sportspeople, unburdened by memories of their nations' toils or triumphs of yesteryear and preoccupied with more juvenile concerns such as novelty handshake choreography and fidget-spinner technique, can create histories that are entirely their own.

Earlier this year, Dave Longstreth of Dirty Projectors was forced to backtrack on an Instagram post in which he asked if the alternative music scene had become bad and boujee.

Absinthe-fuelled hallucinations, a gut-busting zipline, a dance-off and a grapefruiting demonstration: some of the comedy veers into the absurd, but each joke squarely hits its mark.

These sex-bots have also become both a mainstay of humor, from the sexy goofiness of 80s films such as Weird Science and Galaxina, to the cheeky and slightly more socially aware comedies in the 90s, with the frilly, busty fembots of Austen Powers and Buffy the Vampire Slayer's charmingly dippy Buffy-bot.

Similarly, a review published by the Australian Institute of Family Studies in 2013 concluded: Overall, research to date considerably challenges the point of view that same-sex-parented families are harmful to children.

There's no reason, however, why the same technique can't be loaded in to a similar piece of software to WannaCry and NotPetya - a so-called ransomworm, which jumps from computer to computer automatically, encrypting information as it goes.

Homosexuality is a tragedy of a family, a grave to the family bloodline, a curse of family sonlessness!

There are definite steps and support around transitioning, but not around detransitioning, so I felt I had to make my own road in many ways, he says.

In a new study published in the journal Cell Metabolism, Verdin and his colleagues describe how they fed one-year-old mice either a normal high-carbohydrate diet; a high-fat, low-carb diet; or a high-fat, zero-carb diet, also known as a ketogenic diet.

Those who don't want a deal, the no-dealers, they do not have friends in the commission.

Someone in the cabinet has got cross with Michael Gove for doing just that, using long, economicky words to send a message that he is ready to take over from Philip Hammond should next week's budget - God forbid - not be a complete triumph.

Most striking is the rise of what we will call whisperpop, which hit its apotheosis in Selena Gomez sleeper hits such as Good for You and Bad Liar, tracks with deceptively understated, intricate vocal performances that turn melisma-favouring X Factor logic on its head but are easily as compelling as anything from a Mariah-style, window-rattling chanteuse.

Other words in the running this year include broflake, a label for men who are easily enraged by progressive attitudes that conflict with their views; unicorn, a description for items of food and drink that are altered to be colourful and glittery; and Milkshake Duck, a term for a person or thing that inspires a positive reaction on social media, but is revealed to have a negative past.
2003 'Weapons of Mass Destruction' Neologisms (from the Web)
20th Feb 2003:
Weapons of Ass Destruction
weapons of bluff, brinkmanship and bloody-mindedness
weapons of bumps and bruises
weapons of indiscriminate destruction
weapons of market destruction
Weapons of Mass Casualties
weapons of mass deception
weapons of mass discomfort
weapons of mass disruption
weapons of mass distraction
Weapons of Mass Entertainment
weapons of mass obstruction
weapons of mass terror
weapons of ministerial destruction
weapons of modest destruction
weapons of most destruction
weapons of nasty scratches
weapons of scant destruction

21st Feb 2003:
weapons of catastrophic destruction
Weapons of Class Destruction
weapons of complete destruction
weapons of further destruction
weapons of global destruction
weapons of godlike destruction
weapons of great destruction
weapons of his destruction
Weapons of Less Destruction
Weapons Of Local Destruction
weapons of mad destruction
weapons of mass construction
Weapons of Mass Consumption
Weapons of Mass Deconstruction
Weapons of Mass Distortion
Weapons of Mass Distractions
weapons of mass effect (WME)
weapons of mass hysteria
Weapons of mass instruction
weapons of mass irritation
weapons of mass media (WMM)
Weapons of mass partying
Weapons of mass protection
weapons of mass repression
weapons of massive destruction
weapons of mischievious destruction
Weapons of Moose Destruction
weapons of murderous destruction
weapons of nuclear destruction
weapons of pattern destruction
weapons of terrible destruction
weapons of total destruction
weapons of wealth destruction (WWD)
WMD: Weapons of Media Destruction